Inside the Kennel with Potts and Pistol

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Potts and Pistol here and bringing a run down of local sports and entertaining segments and giving you our expert knowlege on Rugby league, Rugby union and cricket and much much more.

📰 THE KENNEL TIMES 🐾JUNGLE CATS MARCH INTO ANOTHER GRAND FINAL!“Laidley in lockdown as Cats continue dynasty!”By Thomas ...
27/07/2026

📰 THE KENNEL TIMES 🐾

JUNGLE CATS MARCH INTO ANOTHER GRAND FINAL!

“Laidley in lockdown as Cats continue dynasty!”

By Thomas “Pistol” Nicholson – Chief Sports Reporter

The streets of Laidley were once again brought to a standstill on Monday night as the unstoppable Jungle Cats continued their remarkable rise to local sporting royalty.

On another icy evening at the Laidley Recreation Grounds, Jungle Cats 1 watched on from their luxurious heated corporate box (otherwise known as a folding chair under the canteen awning) as Jungle Cats 2 squared off against the Saints in a Preliminary Final for a place in next week’s E Grade Grand Final against Snags and Sidesteps.

With reinforcements returning just in time, the Cats looked hungrier than a Year 4 class spotting free cupcakes.

The Saints arrived full of confidence, but one glaring omission had commentators scratching their heads.

Saints chief sledger and go-forward queen Bianca Wilson was nowhere to be seen.

Without her trademark verbal pressure, the Saints were reportedly “at least 60% quieter than usual.”

The Jungle Cats wasted no time.

The WestMAC trio of Sunny Litzow, Max Hannah and Bruce Hannah tore through the Saints’ defence with the subtlety of a runaway shopping trolley. Spectators claimed they were “running that hard they nearly ended up in Gatton.”

In the middle of the field, teenage sensation Fahtaya put on another masterclass, weaving through defenders like she’d stolen the opposition’s car keys.

Then disaster nearly struck.

Fahtaya went to ground.

The entire Rec Grounds fell silent…

…before one voice echoed across every field from Laidley to Forest Hill.

“GET HER OFF! BRING HER TO THE SIDELINE!”

Coach Pistol wasn’t taking any chances.

“We’ve invested too much in this Grand Final campaign,” he later joked.

“I’m wrapping her in cotton wool until next Monday. If I have to bubble-wrap the whole team, I will.”

Fortunately, the injury scare proved minor, and the Cats kept rolling.

When the dust settled, Jungle Cats 2 had claimed an emphatic 8–3 victory, securing yet another Grand Final appearance.

⸝

📊 DYNASTY WATCH

Statisticians have confirmed a frightening trend.

Since entering the Laidley Touch Competition… the Jungle Cats have NEVER missed a Grand Final.

Experts have begun referring to the club as:

* The Blue and White Dynasty
* The Feline Empire
* The Greatest Sporting Organisation Since the 1992 Brisbane Broncos (according to one slightly biased supporter.)

⸝

🗣️ WHAT THEY SAID

🐆 Coach Pistol

“The game plan was simple… score more tries than them. Luckily the players listened.”

“I didn’t lose my voice yelling. I was simply providing tactical encouragement.”

⸝

🌟 Sunny Litzow

“We knew if we ran hard enough eventually someone would forget to grab our shorts.”

⸝

💪 Bruce Hannah

“I honestly thought we were playing two games because I just kept running.”

⸝

🏃 Max Hannah

“Coach told me to keep my feet moving… I don’t think I’ve stopped yet.”

⸝

🎙️ Anonymous Saints Player

“Every time we thought we’d made a tackle, another Jungle Cat appeared.”

⸝

🚨 BREAKING NEWS

Preparations are already underway for Grand Final Week.

Rumours continue to circulate that the Lockyer Valley Regional Council is considering shutting down Patrick Street on Sunday afternoon for the official Jungle Cats Grand Final Parade.

Sources close to the council have denied the rumours.

Sources close to the Jungle Cats have confirmed the parade route, victory speeches and playlist have already been organised.

⸝

🍽️ GRAND FINAL LUNCHEON

Supporters are encouraged to keep an eye on social media for details surrounding the Jungle Cats Grand Final Luncheon, where fans will have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to meet the club’s superstars, grab photos and hear stories that become slightly bigger every time they’re told.

⸝

🐾 ONE MORE TO GO!

Next week, Jungle Cats 1 will contest the F Grade Grand Final, while Jungle Cats 2 chase E Grade glory against Snags and Sidesteps.

Two teams.

Two Grand Finals.

One club.

One town.

GO JUNGLE CATS!

Finals Time!!It’s finals time at Laidley Touch, and The Kennel Times has ventured into the Jungle Cats camp as the team ...
19/07/2026

Finals Time!!

It’s finals time at Laidley Touch, and The Kennel Times has ventured into the Jungle Cats camp as the team prepares for what is being tipped as one of the tightest E Grade and F Grade finals series in recent memory.

Excitement is building throughout the Jungle Cats squad. The Cats boast a mix of fresh-faced players experiencing the pressure of finals footy for the very first time, alongside experienced campaigners who have been there, done that, and know exactly what it takes when the stakes are highest.

One player expected to lead from the front is veteran Finn Litzow. Although no stranger to finals football, this campaign presents a new challenge. Finn had this to say:

“Yeah, it’s a first for me playing in an E Grade final. I’ve become pretty used to the A Grade scene over the years, but this is a different challenge with different expectations. I’m really looking forward to getting out there, leading the boys around the park and hopefully delivering the Jungle Cats their maiden premiership.”

So, if you want to follow the Jungle Cats’ charge towards premiership glory, head on down to Jungle Cats Oval (Laidley Recreation Grounds) and make some noise. Your support could be the difference as the Cats begin what they hope will be the biggest and most memorable finals campaign in Laidley Touch history.

Go the Jungle Cats!

Pottsy’s Return for the Ages!!!The moment had finally arrived at Rosewood Sports Ground. With Ladies Day in full swing a...
15/07/2026

Pottsy’s Return for the Ages!!!

The moment had finally arrived at Rosewood Sports Ground. With Ladies Day in full swing and the crowd dressed to impress, Pistol wandered over to meet Pottsy. The first stop? The bar, of course. But there was one problem… no Pottsy.

Just as rumours began to spread that he’d pulled another retirement, the shed doors swung open. Out emerged the bearded veteran, decked out in the famous Laidley Lions colours. The whispers quickly turned into cheers as chants of “Pottsy! Pottsy! Pottsy!” echoed around the ground.

Then it happened.

Those legendary black Nike boots crossed the white line once again, and just like that, the man, the myth and the legend was back where he belongs.

The Kennel Times caught up with Laidley Lions head coach John Soderquist after the match, and he couldn’t hide his admiration.

“Pottsy? My goodness! He was making tackle after tackle, and at one stage I swear he took four hit-ups in the one set. The bloke’s an absolute animal. I thought we’d accidentally signed Payne Haas.”

Following the game, The Kennel tracked Pottsy down at the Rosewood Tavern, where he was surrounded by admirers and doing what every retired footballer does best—telling stories over a cold drink.

When asked how the body pulled up, Pottsy laughed.

“Well… I got through it. I’m pretty battered, but the good news is I’m not broken! More importantly, the team got through without anyone being sent off or suspended this week, so we’ll call that a win.”

Pottsy’s comeback was nothing short of inspirational. The tank might not be as full as it was 15 years ago, but the effort certainly hasn’t disappeared.

The veteran has confirmed he’ll be lacing up the famous black Nikes again this weekend, so get down to the footy and witness what is being dubbed “The Pottsy Retirement Tour.”

Although, knowing Pottsy, this retirement tour could last another five seasons…

Ladies’ Night Inspires Jungle Cats to Victory!If there was ever any doubt that Ladies’ Night gives the Jungle Cats an ex...
13/07/2026

Ladies’ Night Inspires Jungle Cats to Victory!

If there was ever any doubt that Ladies’ Night gives the Jungle Cats an extra gear, Monday night settled the debate.

On a freezing Monday evening at Laidley Touch, the Jungle Cats and what seemed like half the female population of the Lockyer Valley descended on Field 1 for a night full of roses, hearts and, somehow, two wins. Whether it was the support or the pressure of performing in front of the ladies, the Jungle Cats found another level.

The Kennel Times wandered up to the touch canteen to catch up with Laidley Touch administrator Jill, who was already soaking in the atmosphere.

“Every chance I get, I put the Jungle Cats on the main field because they’re the entertainers. You never know what you’re going to see!”

She wasn’t wrong.

There were roses everywhere, hearts flying around and, as always, skipper Pistol copping plenty of “helpful” coaching advice from the sideline. By the end of the night, he reckons he’d been coached by about 14 different people and still wasn’t sure which game plan they were using.

The Kennel Times tracked down the Jungle Cats’ Most Eligible Bachelor, Ky Litzow, who was relaxing in Tasmania.

“Yeah, it’s a shame I couldn’t be there to steal a few hearts, but it gives the other bachelors a chance to finally get some attention. Don’t worry, I’m a finals player—I only come back when the pressure’s on.”

Meanwhile, the Litzow family wasn’t the only one representing. It was a full Lee family takeover on the sideline, with Ruby’s mum, dad and two brothers braving the cold to cheer on their superstar. They were rewarded when Rubes crashed over for a try before pulling out what looked suspiciously like the Jai Arrow celebration. Safe to say she nailed it—and probably celebrated better than Jai himself.

One thing became crystal clear on Monday night—the future of the Jungle Cats is in safe hands. The young guns are coming through thick and fast.

As for skipper Pistol… well, there are rumours his playing career might be entering the veteran stage. Some are suggesting he transitions into a mentoring role before his hamstrings submit their retirement paperwork. The skipper was quick to deny the rumours, claiming he still has “at least another five seasons”… although witnesses reported hearing plenty of heavy breathing after his second sprint.

The Kennel Times also caught up with Dave, proud father of young gun Cameron.

“It was unreal. The vibes were at an all-time high, everyone was playing with smiles on their faces, and I was really hoping Pistol would score because I reckon the famous Goanna celebration was ready to come out.”

Sadly for the crowd, the Goanna stayed in its natural habitat for another week, with Pistol failing to trouble the scoreboard. Scientists remain unsure whether the celebration actually exists or if it’s simply become a Jungle Cats myth.

By the end of the night, the Jungle Cats had banked two wins, plenty of laughs, countless photos and enough confidence to think the premiership trophy might already have blue and white ribbons tied around it.

If this was the first-ever Jungle Cats Ladies’ Night, it certainly won’t be the last.

One thing is guaranteed…

The Kennel Times will be back

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: POTTS RETURN 🚨After the release of our most recent episode also came the launch of the newest online ne...
10/07/2026

🚨 BREAKING NEWS: POTTS RETURN 🚨

After the release of our most recent episode also came the launch of the newest online newspaper to hit the Lockyer Valley – The Kennel Times.

We’ll be on the lookout for the biggest, funniest and most interesting stories from across the Lockyer Valley to bring to you. If it’s newsworthy (or just worthy of a laugh), we’ll be there.

Our first story, however, comes from within the Kennel itself.
Last season, Steven “Pottsy” Potter made what many believed was an emotional retirement announcement, declaring that his trademark black Nike footy boots were being put on the shelf for good.

His exact words to me were:
“Pistol, I am retiring from rugby league, so we’ll finally get to more Ipswich rugby league games to cover the local action.”

Well… I’m still waiting to get to one.
As the 2026 season rolled around, the Laidley Lions were hit by injuries and player numbers started to thin out. Enter the tall, bearded mastermind, John Soderquist.
With one phone call—and thankfully Pottsy was still on speed dial—the comeback was on.
Just like that, the famous black Nikes were dusted off, laced up, and charging around the hallowed turf of the Laidley Recreation Grounds once again. Retirement lasted about as long as a New Year’s resolution.

We can’t confirm whether Pottsy missed rugby league… or just missed wearing the boots. Either way, the comeback was complete.
This is the first of what we hope will be many stories from The Kennel Times. If you’ve got a story from around the Lockyer Valley that deserves to be covered, send us a message or drop it in the comments. The Kennel boys will be on the case quicker than Pottsy can announce another retirement.

10/07/2026

Episode 16: Inside the Kennel with Potts and Pistol

With Origin done and dusted and Potts gloating big time, we've decided to stash it away and instead Potts and Pistol are...
08/07/2026

With Origin done and dusted and Potts gloating big time, we've decided to stash it away and instead Potts and Pistol are going totally crazy for the Soccer World Cup, jumping on the English bandwagon which is a total shocker for Potts. So comment on any soccer themed challenges you want to see the kennel do and we swap the oval ball for the round ball. Its coming home.

Righto Jungle Cat fans, it's giveaway time, but there is a catch: you need to pick the correct score and winner for the ...
07/07/2026

Righto Jungle Cat fans, it's giveaway time, but there is a catch: you need to pick the correct score and winner for the Origin decider tonight. If you are the lucky person to win and guess the score and winner correctly, the Kennel boys will shout you a meal from the top 10 Queensland National QN Hotel Menu board and a drink. What a prize to be won! So, in the comments below, tell us what your score is and who wins. You must have the score correct and the correct winner of the game. Good luck!!!

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Laidley, QLD
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