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06/09/2026

Shame has a way of following us long after the person or moment that created it has disappeared. We learn to see ourselves through other people’s eyes, and eventually we can become so good at policing ourselves that we don’t even realise we’re doing it.

Midlife can be an extraordinary time to start questioning that. What parts of yourself did you learn to hide, shrink, clean up or apologise for in order to be accepted? What if some of the things you were taught were “too much”, “difficult”, “messy” or unacceptable are actually where some of your creativity, joy and aliveness live?

If you don’t know where to start, think about the little girl you once were. What was she shamed for? What did she learn she needed to change about herself to belong? And what would happen if, instead of continuing to correct her, you finally went back and stood beside her?

You might be surprised by how much of yourself is still waiting there for you.

05/09/2026

I know it’s hard to believe, but I practiced this so many times . This is as good as it gonna get. Fingers crossed for the Springboks tonight. Go South Africa! 🇿🇦 For the people that requested this song if it’s not good enough for you, I challenge you to post your own version of it. Not easy for the non-dancers but definitely worth the fun.

03/09/2026

Hubby Returns Hotline - Part 5 - The Recall
Product: Husband
Affected models: Various
Year of manufacture: Potentially any
Recall status: Immediate

A number of units currently in circulation have been found to contain one or more known defects, including:
Selective Domestic Vision.
Failure to detect full laundry baskets.
Inability to independently locate household items.
Repeated use of the phrase “you should have just asked.”
Operating normally in the workplace while experiencing systems failure at home.

Owners are advised not to panic. Some models may be repaired through retraining, accountability updates and installation of the latest Independent Thought software.
Units that continue to malfunction after repeated servicing may be returned under The Recall.

Original packaging not required. No receipt required. Swap for pet offered.

31/08/2026

Perimenopause can be incredibly difficult to explain to someone who has never experienced it, especially when the symptoms are inconsistent, difficult to measure and sometimes dismissed because standard tests come back “normal”.

This video uses a car analogy to explain what that can feel like. You know your own body. You know when something has changed. Yet many women spend months or even years being told they are stressed, anxious, ageing, not sleeping enough or simply need to exercise more, while symptoms continue to build.

Perimenopause can affect sleep, mood, memory, concentration, body temperature, energy, joints, migraines, anxiety, periods and much more. Symptoms can come and go, change over time and affect women very differently.

For husbands, partners, sons, brothers, friends and coworkers who don’t quite understand what the woman in their life is experiencing, perhaps this helps.

You don’t have to understand every symptom to believe her when she says something has changed. Sometimes the most useful thing you can do is listen, take her seriously and support her while she finds the right help.

31/08/2026

A little tip should you be inspired to take to the road or the land, whatever floats your boat. It’s helping me.

30/08/2026

What fascinates me about people who fight feminism is the entitlement underneath it. Who do you have to believe you are to think another adult human being should organise her life around your preferences?

To believe you get a say in how women dress, speak, work, parent, have s*x, age, earn money, spend money, marry, divorce, use their bodies or move through the world. Where does that authority come from? Because it isn’t enough for these people to have their own values and live by them. They want other people to live by them too. That is the part I find extraordinary. The assumption that your s*x, your religion, your culture, your tradition or simply your personal opinion somehow grants you jurisdiction over somebody else’s life. It doesn’t. You are allowed to decide how you live. You are not entitled to a population of women arranged around your comfort.

Feminism threatens some people because it removes that imagined authority. It says women are not supporting characters in somebody else’s life. They are full human beings with the same right to self-determination as anyone else.

Which brings me back to the original point. If all women are demanding is equality, perhaps a little gratitude is in order.

You’re welcome.

28/08/2026

Perimenopause has a funny way of changing your tolerance for BS and stupid questions. Things you may once have smiled through, ignored or politely entertained can suddenly feel completely unbearable, especially when you’re already dealing with hormonal changes, poor sleep, irritability, brain fog, hot flushes and the general sensory overload that can come with midlife.

This video is obviously a ridiculous exaggeration, but I think a lot of perimenopausal women will recognise the feeling. It’s not necessarily that we’ve suddenly become angry women. Sometimes we’ve simply stopped cushioning every stupid question, unnecessary comment or bit of nonsense for everyone else’s comfort. There can be something strangely liberating about that shift. Perimenopause and menopause can force women to rethink patience, people pleasing, boundaries and how much energy we want to spend making ourselves agreeable. So yes, perhaps the bu****it detector does become a little more powerful in midlife. Possibly biblical. Either way, I like it and I'm keeping it.

If you liked this reading and would be interested to know more from this book of FAaFO do let me know, I'd be happy to oblige.

27/08/2026

For generations, being a “good woman” often meant making yourself smaller. Be agreeable. Be accommodating. Put everyone else first. Don’t be too loud, too ambitious, too s*xual, too angry, too demanding or too sure of yourself. Women were rewarded for fitting the role and punished, socially and sometimes legally, when they stepped outside it.

That wasn’t accidental. For much of history, women had fewer legal, financial and political rights than men. Even as those laws changed, the expectations didn’t disappear overnight. We still carry some of them with us. Psychology shows that women can be judged more harshly when we behave in ways that clash with traditional expectations of femininity, particularly when we are assertive, ambitious or powerful.

Thankfully, some women were prepared to be very “bad women” by the standards of their time. They spoke when women were supposed to be quiet. They demanded education, property rights, the vote, equal pay, bodily autonomy and a seat at tables that weren’t built for them. The freedoms we have now exist because women before us refused to stay within the space they were given.

So perhaps being a good woman today means continuing their work. Know yourself. Set boundaries. Use your voice. Support other women. Question the rules you inherited. Refuse to make yourself smaller simply because your full size makes somebody else uncomfortable.

We didn’t create the space we have today. We inherited it from women who made it bigger. Now it’s our turn.

26/08/2026

Welcome to Perimenopause Weather, where the forecast is unstable, temperatures are unreliable and there is a strong chance of sudden atmospheric rage. Conditions may include unexpected heat, patchy brain fog, disturbed sleep, emotional thunderstorms and a complete inability to tolerate unnecessary noise. No two regions appear to be experiencing the same system, nobody knows exactly when it will pass, and dressing in layers remains your best defence.
If you’re currently living through this particular climate event, please report conditions from your area.

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