19/11/2025
So, I went to Longhorn Steakhouse last night for a date.
Everything was going fine — at least in my opinion — until the tip part came.
When the waiter brought my ticket, she looked at me and said,
“Oh honey, he was really good to us. Please tip him good.”
I don’t think she caught it, but I gave her a look like, who TF are you talking to?
Anyway, I tipped the lowest suggested restaurant tip — $17.25.
Then she taps my hand with her finger and says,
“Why are you tipping him so low? He did a great job. Give him the highest tip value. You owe that to him. At least give him $10 in cash too, sweetie.”
At that point I was irritated, but I stayed calm and told her,
“You didn’t have to pay for anything. I let you order whatever you wanted, regardless of price — your part of the bill was $70, mine was only about $20 — and now you’re telling me how to tip? You sound crazier than a Bessie Bug! On top of that, I normally do a meet-and-greet before planning a first date. I didn’t do that with you. I tried to change things up this time… and here we are!”
She reaches in her purse, pulls out $10, slaps it on the table, and leaves.
I just sat there — we drove separately, and I was waiting on a to-go box. About fifteen minutes later, she texts me saying,
“You’re cheap. Lose my number.”
I texted back,
“That’s why you’re single now. Walking around with that stank, uppity, bougie attitude.”
Moral of the story:
Fellas, always do a meet-and-greet before planning a first date.
It’ll save you money — and a headache.
