05/29/2026
Message from Maya's Mom Cia
Hey Everyone.
Here comes another long one......
Ive wanted to write an update for quite sometime..
I just, dont really know what to say I guess.
I know alot of my posts seem to be deep in despair.
Truth is though, I simply can't afford to give up in faith.
Its all I have left.
People ask me, regularly, is Maya okay?
-I suppose-
If Okay is the mid line on a scale from 1 to 10,
1 being dead
10 being thriving...
I suppose okay would suffice.
The Maya I see everyday currently, to the Maya i spent the past 12 years observing and attempting to tame into civility, are vastly different.
Through the eyes of pure unwavering love,
It feels like a crime to say "shes okay"
The Maya I had the pleasure to watch blossom..
like a volcano..
The brave, confident force of nature.
Was rarely sick for school.
Had deep burning empathy.
She understood more of the world and the people around her, then she probably should at her age..
Now....
Now, I imagine she is a goldfish, floating in the small aquarium that is her own body.
Observing.
She cant communicate.
Or articulate feelings.
Her eyes tell me she is in there still.
So, is she "okay"?
What IS okay?
The adrenaline and consistent wave of hope and despair in the beginning brought feelings that made the scale of comparison easy to articulate.
And then now.
We have only time.
Endless time.
Uncertainty.
Faith(?)
And fear....
Her cranialplasty went well. No further signs of infection, crisis averted.
She is healing incredibly well.
Myself, as a mother, stood on a platform of maternal vigilance.
Now I can ... what.... relax?
Now that her life doesn't hang in the fragile threads of moments and possibilities, I'm left with the mountain of broken pieces that was once our lives..
The dishes from a sunday dinner, left forgotten until tomorrow.
Time to deal with the mess.
We were plucked from our small town lives and dropped collectively in a new life, broken and battered.
A now past life, where i once ran a business.
where my daughters spent most their little lives walking the streets 'hanging at moms shop'
Where everyone knows you, and most welcome you.
Where there are many more trees then cars, and if you heard sirens at night, you likely knew who they were for.
In the silence of unrelenting "wait and see" we pick up the pieces, and start over.
A new normal. A new place. A new shade of jade.
It has been nearly impossible to aquire housing. knowing she will likely be in a wheelchair.
To know that there is a good chance that her level of consciousness can still continue to develop and all I want to do is protect my children from the busy noise and sirens that is the city.
One day she might ask what happened.
One day i may have to tell her.
I hope to protect the peace.
I hope to create an imaginary parallel to the life they were forced to abandon.
It is difficult... if not impossible.
For a while little Dahlia and I stayed in a series of airbnbs, thinking we would find a home soon.
She needed her mom.
I felt all I could give that resembled any sort of 'life' was a bedroom.. and breakfast together.
Under the implication that victim services would cover accomodations and expenses as they offer on the government website.
A service intended to support families who have been subject to the wreckage of a hanous and violent crime.
We dont qualify.
The list of potential benefits covered for truamatized families searching for a new normal in an unthinkable situation.
We arent covered.
Turns out, legislation is written in such a way, we dont qualify. So all and any expenses are left to be fulfilled by any organizations holding donations, that has litterally saved us so far..
So, with that, accomodations have become too much, and we live between the back of my car and a couch in the hospital.
Hoping we find a place that fits all our requirements sometime soon.
Then what?
Prepare for the worst, yet hope for the best, they say.
What if maya needs round the clock care?
How do I work... how does LIFE work.
I live moment to moment in a sea of maybe's with no solid ground to rest our feet.
Running in place.
Fantasizing over possibilities that seem just barely out of reach.
The carrot on the stick.
We have had some incredible opportunities surface, we seemed to have stumbled on a 'school' type structure in a horse stable... no walls. No familiarity...
Perfect for now. It is exactly what she needed.
So...
I still keep faith.
We never went to LA.. for anyone who believed we did, it just didnt happen.
There was too much uncertainty and her state was to fragile to have the travel was worth the risk.. in all honesty I think I pulled the trigger on that post to early, although I didn't see it that way at the time -my bad.
We are now, however, researching neurospecific hospitals world wide for advanced treatment, if we find one she may qualify for, we would rather go broke taking any potential avenues available, then walk the arduous path of "wait and see".
So.. we are okay.
We are all okay.
If Okay was the mid line on a scale of 1 to 10.
1 being dead.
10 being thriving.
We are the epitome of Okay..
Mya Maya.
My goldfish baby, as Ive been calling her..
Dumbed down to a state of pre-evolution, her gold fish state.
All I can hope is, one day she finds the means to sprout legs and walk out of her pond.
Like the images in those old 90's science books.. I continue to pray she evolves..
I hope the path to a new normal starts to become clear.
We just.... wait and see.
Xoxo
((
**Edit:
To address question about the Ronald Mcdonald House. We do have a room there.. one per family.
Dahlia was abruptly forced to abandon her entire life, while simultaneously grappling with the news that some of her friends were dead, and confronted daily thay her fearless leader is a goldfish.. I didnt find it healthy that her only available.friends were more vulnerable children. She loves fiercely, but im terrified for her. I basically gave the room to david and his family that comes.quite frequently to help. The airbnbs and couch surfing, id assumed to be short.lived as he hunt for homes..**
**CHARITY FUNDS.
YES. The pac charity. The Red Cross.
There are other charities available we can pull from.
However, with having toforfeit my shop, the outrageous cost of housing, medical equipment, and not knowing how or if I can ever work again, using any of that for overpriced short term stays seems very unreasonable.
2 weeks in a hotel or Airbnb is a months rent.
There are financial resources. As our future looks now, maya will need mechanical slings, ramps, stair lifts. A van, a special tub, and potentially at home care... all of that combined is well over 200k in a year...
That coupled with 2500 a month in rent, and everyday living. These alotted funds need to stretch us as long as possible. With 6k a month in home care for maya and 2500 a month in rent, its scary to.think.how fast it Will go.
I will.likely need to upgrade some courses and find new work.
Its alot and the future is unknown.
So with the government sector offering to cover "accomodations" it didnt seem so reckless. I wouldnt want to spend a lifeline like these funds, on expensive short term stays, but with that seemingly the only option, we will just keep looking for a home.**
**Also
In regards to Victim services. I hope no one calls to raise hell on our behalf, it isnt the employees, it is the legislature. We could tell today during our meeting that they wanted to help. The guidelines to these benefits are restricting, there simply is no place for us..
The change needs to.be bigger then an exemption.
It needs to be for the people.**
Thank you for your love and passion though.
And Please share this with your friends
