04/29/2026
I see people posting about being newly diagnosed and wondering "what now?".
I know that when I was diagnosed, I was left flailing around looking for directions and answers. Here are some things I would have liked to have known at that time. In a way, this is a letter to myself when I was diagnosed and wish someone told me.
So you have either been diagnosed as Autistic or come to the realization you are through self diagnosis (not everyone can afford the formal diagnosis, but are still autistic), Here are some things you should know:
1- You are still you. You are not a new person, a different person or any better or worse than you were before you found out you are autistic. The only thing that changed is that you were given the missing pages of your owners manual that will explain how some things work.
2- No one can tell you what to do now. Every single autistic person is different and comes with unique skills, issues, sensitivities and needs. We all share some common traits, but nothing is carved in stone. Due to a lifetime of masking, you have been trying to behave like a normal person and your natural tendency is to look for a typical autistic personality that you can mirror... just be you, that is enough.
3- Read, read and then read some more. Turn to communities on reddit, or facebook or any place that you feel comfortable interacting with people. Other people have taken the steps you are just starting and they can help you avoid the mis-steps they took. You will also find within that group a community that will help you with moral support and help you understand yourself.
4- Fully explore the things that can trigger stress and emotions in you. Many of us have sensitivity to light, sound, touch, smells, tastes and textures that cause us distress and anxiety. Your triggers will be unique to you and no one will be able to tell you what they are until you discover them. The more details you have on your triggers, the better you will be able to avoid them if possible. For example, If you have sensitivity to light, what colors are worse? are the lights worse when overhead or worse when at eye level? Is it the brightness or the frequency they pulse at which is bothering you? The more specific you can be, the better you will be at avoiding or dealing with them.
5- Tell the important people in your life about the diagnosis. Do not try to go it alone. If the people in your life understand and know what your difficulties are, they are better able to help you with them. You don't need to tell everyone you meet unless you want to, but the ones closest to you are going to be your best defense against further issues like depression.
6- Finally, cut yourself some slack. You are your worse enemy when it comes to feeling like you are not meeting the goals you think society has set. There are going to be things you cannot do. There are going to be some places you cannot go without feeling overwhelmed. Know yourself and understand that you are the only one that can understand who you are. If you need to spend an afternoon doing a puzzle to calm your mind, consider it time well spent and do not feel bad about things you didn't accomplish with that time instead.
I hope others can add to this list and help give advice they wish someone had given them
(picture of my happiest pups sharing a stick, to reward people for paying attention long enough to read this lol)
