Oka Baby

12/09/2024

It can be really tricky to know what to buy the baby in your life for their first Christmas. But it’s really important to avoid dangerous sleep products.

Sleep bags like these may look very cosy and inviting but many sold online have been recalled as they present a serious risk of suffocation, overheating and death.

Sleep bags should be well fitted, (think neck and arm holes that fit well) so that your baby can’t wriggle down inside. And avoid any sleep bags with hoods or head coverings.

Learn more: https://capt.org.uk/watch-out-for-dangerous-baby-products-when-shopping-online/

05/03/2024

“…their current setup, where they both tried to fight sleep to feed their son anywhere but lying down in bed, was likely the most dangerous of all.”

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/there-are-safer-ways-to-bed-share-with-a-baby/?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR3P1A4nIq_oQOU1Mu7KOzmgzMBGrmWPIImktUqpcEOI_AVk6wIupw9T0wQ_aem_ARcDKXP6lS2TFxJXheubwUyfcxQwKFDEbET0l0kUVm__QwHGeN3_llTBKUh1564NyAlUO6fRuCJnwgxYAMPWT2k7

For some parents, bed-sharing is the only way their baby can sleep. Rather than talking to parents about how to do it safely, we try to pretend it doesn’t exist

12/16/2022

I was lucky enough to join Chanelle Walsh on her Podcast Luggage and Little Ones. Have a listen as I speak about travelling standby with a toddler, as well as some sleep and travel tips for those with babies and toddlers.

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/episode-5-uk-flying-tips-baby-sleep-with-steph-de/id1656174240?i=1000590353833

‎Show Luggage and Little Ones - The Podcast, Ep Episode 5: UK, flying tips & baby sleep with Steph de Graaf from Oka Baby - Dec 15, 2022

12/07/2022

Although it's one of the most exciting and busy times of year, it may fill you with dread thinking about how your baby will sleep when staying away from home, how you're going to manage naps when you're on the go, and what the disruption might do to your little one's routine.

After watching this webinar, you'll come away with the confidence to get your little one's sleep back on track, as well as some handy tips and tricks for travel, managing an over-stimulated baby, and much more.

This event will be hosted live in my Facebook community Real Baby and Toddler Sleep.
Join here:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/238154887503712/?ref=share&mibextid=S66gvF

08/23/2022

I have to credit one of the Oka Mamas for this one after we were having a little rant to each other about how quickly people are willing to suggest sleep training in Mum groups on Facebook. We had both seen the same post where a mum literally wrote “cry it out is not an option for us” and STILL people were suggesting cry it out and Ferber in the comments 🤦🏻‍♀️ There was also a lot of talk about holding boundaries, but in the context of “otherwise your baby will manipulate you.” Unfortunately, this kind of misinformation about babies being able to manipulate us persists, despite an ever growing body of knowledge that babies do not have the cognitive maturity to manipulate an adult.

This comes days after a relatively big/well known account posted a very, very misleading post about feeding on a schedule vs feeding on demand. There were thousands of comments on the post from professionals stating that the information was wrong and the poster was irresponsible in spreading this rubbish. Many of us also reported the post, but it has not been removed.

Meanwhile, members of the BIPOC community are being silenced and shadow banned, female ni***es are censored (which in turn limits the normalise breastfeeding movement), and large accounts with money behind them continue to spread dangerous, false information.

Vulnerable parents are being lead to believe they are doing something wrong when they respond to their babies every need. Whether it’s supporting sleep or responsive feeding, parents everywhere are questioning if they are doing the right thing. This has to stop.

If you see or hear information shared on social media that doesn’t sit right with you, you have every right to question it. Who posted this? What qualifications do they have? Where is the science to back it up?

When it comes to engaging in discussion on Facebook groups, I’m all for respectful, diverse perspectives. But when someone states they DO NOT want to do something (ie sleep train), don’t offer that up as your advice 🤪

I want to credit for inspiring some of the content in this caption as well as for the quote in the picture.

08/22/2022

Three mums share the reality of parenting after stillbirth or miscarriage.

08/02/2022

There will be a lot of noise on social media this week with people up in arms about what World Breastfeeding Week means, how it can trigger people, shame people, and generally make people feel bad. But it is not about the individual. It is about raising awareness in our whole society, our governments, and our healthcare systems.

Breastfeeding Week is not only about celebrating breast/chestfeeding but more importantly recognising the barriers to breast/chestfeeding and coming together to raise awareness and, as a society, take action to protect breast/chestfeeding for those who want to do it.

It is NOT about shaming those who CHOOSE to formula feed, or trying to persuade them otherwise. It is about creating an environment conducive to achieving the breast/chestfeeding goals of those who do CHOOSE to breast/chestfeed.

In an ideal world, we wouldn’t need a Breastfeeding Week - those who want to do it would have access to the resources they need to achieve their breast/chestfeeding goals. We wouldn’t need to raise awareness because breast/chestfeeding would be recognised as a basic human right for anyone that wants to do it - the normal, biological baseline.

07/30/2022

Can’t wait to meet some local families at the wellness fair 💚

07/29/2022

Was anyone else sent to their room when they were “bad” as kids? I sure was! Then along came the naughty step, and time-outs, and removing favourite toys as a punishment. These are all examples of using separation as a way to control and manipulate children’s behaviour.

Let me tell you why separation-based punishments “work”. The number one need any child has is to be close to their attachment figure. They represent safety and security, protection, someone who provides everything the child needs to survive. When a child is separated from their attachment figure they suddenly lose their safety net. This evokes the fight or flight response in children. Cortisol and adrenalin levels spike and panic sets in. What they don't do is “think about what they've done” or reflect on why their behaviour was so bad. They learn to use anything they can to win you back. They learn to suppress the emotions that caused the outburst. They learn that they are only wanted when they are behaving “nicely”. Children grow up unable to express their emotions and become “people pleasers”.

Try to recognise “bad” behaviour as a cry for attention. The immature brain’s way of saying “I need some help here, Mama”. What your child needs in these moments is to know you are there, accepting every emotion as it comes, and seeing it through with them. Children do not learn right and wrong when they are in a heightened state of arousal. They need to be co-regulated to come down. Once they are calm and the storm has passed, address the behaviour in a loving, communicative way. “You had a hard time when I said you couldn't throw toys. I can’t let you throw toys incase you break something or hurt someone.”

07/28/2022

Why you should never compare your baby to another…

These two sweet girls were born 3 weeks apart.

They are very different but both are totally normal and healthy.

One of them is in the 15th percentile for weight, one in the 97th.

Both of them were exclusively breastfed.

One started solids on purées and one did baby-led weaning.

One of them walked at 10 months, and one at 12.

One of them takes one nap a day, one of them takes two.

One of them wakes 4 times at night, one of them wakes once.

One of them is shy and slow to warm up, one of them is a social butterfly.

Both their Mamas don’t like it when strangers comment on their baby’s size.

Both babies are loved by many for exactly who they are.

So if you're wondering why your baby isn't doing this or that, or why your friends baby has gained more weight than yours, please just remember, your baby is EXACTLY who they are meant to be.

Your baby is loved for exactly who they are.

07/11/2022

If you're wondering what sleep looks like for a sleep consultant's baby, have a read of my latest blog post... You might be quite surprised.

okababy.ca/blog/ayearofsleep

What sleep looks like for a holistic sleep consultant’s baby. Hint… it’s not sleeping through the night and solo naps in the crib!

07/05/2022

Take a peek in any new parent’s home nowadays and you’ll likely see at least one nest or sleep pod (such as the sleepyhead/Dok-a-tot or Boppy lounger), and it’s no wonder why. Not only are they a convenient, cosy place to put baby down, but they also make for insta-worthy pictures of sleepy, snuggly newborns.

Babies sleep contentedly in nests because they provide a warm, cocooned environment. But therein lies the problem. Nests are not considered safe for sleep, which is what most parents use them for.

The FDA, AAP, and The Lullaby Trust (among others) all warn against the use of nests or sleep pods. Not only do they pose a higher risk of SIDS, babies can also roll and fall out of them, or end up flipped underneath them. Babies can overheat in nests due to reduce air flow. Airway obstruction leading suffocation is also a risk when using these products. I should also note, if you check the small print on the product websites, they will say “not intended for sleep”.

If you have a nest and love it, consider using it only for wake times, and certainly only while baby is being supervised in it. They are not safe for overnight sleep while you are sleeping too. If your baby sleeps soundly in it and you cherish the hands free, quiet time, make sure you are always in close proximity and watching baby very closely.

07/01/2022

📣 Parents local to Penticton 📣

There are still spots available for the next baby massage class, starting in 2 weeks. Learn a head to toe massage routine to nurture and bond with your baby, learn the theory behind it, and have open discussions with like minded parents.

The class will be held on Thursday mornings 9:30-11, in the Rose Garden, starting July 14th. Click the link to register 💚

https://cityofpenticton.perfectmind.com/23715/Activities/BookMe4BookingPages/BookingCoursesPage?calendarId=5140e74a-62d7-4a78-95d9-6b944ad34645&widgetId=15f6af07-39c5-473e-b053-96653f77a406&embed=False

06/18/2022

Parents local to Penticton, BC 📣

I am hosting another baby massage class during the summer. We will experience the joy of baby massage in the beautiful rose garden!

Thu Jul 14–Aug 11 9:30-11:00am

You can sign up here:

https://cityofpenticton.perfectmind.com/23715/Activities/BookMe4LandingPages/CoursesLandingPage?widgetId=15f6af07-39c5-473e-b053-96653f77a406&courseId=d054dfae-51c3-4faf-a695-6bcbc7199a3f&searchText=%22massage%22

05/28/2022

I like this analogy for understanding how our children's brains grow, and how nurture and positive interactions in infancy are key to life long health

https://youtu.be/hMyDFYSkZSU

This 'Brain Builders' video explains how experiences in the first years of our lives affect how our brains form. Science tells us that the stress of abuse or...

05/24/2022

You may have heard some sleep “experts” use the term “junk sleep” when it comes to where, when, and how our babies fall asleep. The theory goes that naps in the light, or a car seat, or stroller do not provide the ideal environment for babies to fall into a deep restful sleep. However, studies have actually shown that motion can promote deeper, longer stretches of sleep in both adults and babies, as well as boosting oxygen to the brain. That doesn’t sound like junk to me.

The term is also used to describe the kind of sleep adults get when they do not get enough, or have very disrupted sleep caused by screens or a chaotic environment. This is a more realistic use of the term.

Many sleep trainers will tell you the only way your baby will get quality sleep is alone, in a dark room, in a crib. But that simply doesn’t make evolutionary sense. If all other places and environments are “junk sleep” then the human race wouldn’t have survived this long.

We know from anthropology, neuroscience, and biology, that babies are meant to sleep in close proximity (ideally in direct contact) with a caregiver. We know that early humans didn’t have black out blinds or cribs, and wouldn’t leave a baby out of sight to get “good quality sleep” for fear of environmental dangers.

If motion, breastsleeping, contact, and daylight naps are junk sleep then our hunter-gatherer ancestors must have had some serious health problems. These practices are still considered normal by the majority of human society, and many primate species. The western view of solo infant sleep is the odd one out.

So, if someone tells you your baby is “junk sleeping” ask them for the evidence base behind this and see what they come up with! 😉

Does your baby “junk sleep”? Mine certainly does!

05/11/2022

A very quick summary here of what I teach toddler parents about regularly 💚

05/10/2022

A split night is when baby or toddler wakes in the night, but feels well rested and is unable to resettle. They may wake in the early hours and be ready to play! When this happens consistently over at least a few nights, it can be exhausting for you as the caregiver. And, because sleep is not something that can be forced, trying to get a wide awake child to go back to sleep can be the cause of a lot of frustration.

Split nights occur when your little one’s circadian rhythm is not aligned with their sleep pressure. What this means is, there is an imbalance in daytime sleep and night time sleep (too much daytime sleep and not enough sleep pressure to keep them asleep at night) or bedtime is too early.

To close the split night, you will need to make parent-led changes.
- The night needs to be condensed - to do this bedtime needs to be shifter later and later until the split night disappears.
- You may need to add in an extra cap-nap to allow for a later bedtime.
- At the same time, you will also need to start waking your baby earlier.
- Once the split night is resolved, you can start making bedtime earlier again.

If you are dealing with split nights and want an in-depth strategy personalised to you and your baby, you may benefit from a 1:1 call with me. Head over to www.okababy.ca to see all my sleep support services.