12/22/2023
One of the only beings to be there for me at all moments of my being and seeing living in and tolerating all of the loss and isolation and confusion before I slowly found my path after the surgeries is now unable to walk and I am debating feeding him with a water dropper. I'm being told that he's suffering and needs to be put to sleep. Only, I have felt that way before and also believed it whole hearted, because I barely ever sleep and wanted nothing more.....
I still got better, though I was suffering. I still got better. I was even put to sleep wrong through a couple surgeries, I still healed I think. Anesthesia and Euthanization are obviously complicated subjects with me. Also, warning: Dare I say triggering? This is someone that stuck with me ride or die through all my adult life trauma, addiction, destruction and the years of unending loudass music it gave birth to. He's not crying or in agony that I can tell, is it so cruel of me to not want to inject him with any outside adulterants and be here with him for a moment. However long that is?
I feel like I have time and there's no need to play or pay doctor. I've always believed in diving timing and trusting both patterns and numerology, and found my way full faith in it. Most times without memory because of a condition called retrograde amnesia. This video I feel blessed I just found is the most perfect and positive day, with my beloved rescued, turned rescuer "cat down the road" - Working out a riff idea while Panda chills happily behind me, as an old friend Nolan Morrow staying on my couch talks out my drum machine setup and I learn some
I will miss you till our paths meet again,
"Until Valhalla!!"
🐼😻♥️
Panda, My favourite Norwegian forest cat friend. Please lend me your strength and cool while I try to navigate this
Blessed Be everyone, I hope I didn't leave anyone feeling down and please comment or pm about your moments of mental health, or wealth. I will come out of this stronger: I drew a single Tarot yesterday: the Strength card. Cherish every moment of it my friends! 😪 - D-R⊕
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CtqG6VXg85V/?igsh=MWEzMnI5eTNoMmJjOQ==