Soul of Solace

09/19/2025

**Narcissists have no intention of repairing your relationship after they have hurt you.** They will say anything to trick you into another round of their sick game, but they will never make amends and they will never change. Apologies, when they come, are usually shallow, manipulative, or designed to pull you back under their control. They may say the right words, but their actions consistently prove otherwise. Instead of genuine remorse, what you see is deflection, blame-shifting, or turning the situation around so that you end up feeling guilty for even pointing out their behavior.

It’s important to understand that narcissists view relationships less as connections based on mutual respect and more as opportunities for control, validation, and supply. When they sense they are losing that control, they might suddenly act sweet, apologetic, or affectionate. This is not because they want true reconciliation—it is because they want to keep you hooked, confused, and emotionally dependent. Their goal is not peace but power.

Over time, this cycle becomes painfully predictable: harm, denial, fake apology, temporary “honeymoon” phase, and then harm again. If you stay, you may find yourself clinging to those short-lived moments of kindness, hoping they are signs of real change. But unfortunately, those moments are carefully crafted illusions, designed to reset the cycle and keep you from walking away.

The truth is, you will never receive the closure you are hoping for from a narcissist. They do not self-reflect, take accountability, or prioritize healing in the way healthy individuals do. Waiting for them to change only drains your energy and prolongs your pain. Instead, the real path forward lies in recognizing the pattern, detaching emotionally, and reclaiming your power.

Your healing will come not from their words or false promises, but from setting firm boundaries, refusing to be manipulated, and investing your time and love into people who truly value you. Narcissists don’t repair relationships—they recycle them. Once you understand this, you free yourself from the endless loop of false hope and disappointment.




Metro 22&

09/19/2025

You slowly forget what genuine connection feels like

09/18/2025

To the person who hurt someone so deeply...

Who left trauma that was negated, who wasn't accountable, who knows exactly what they did, and whose true colours and who you really are were revealed in the way that you showed no remorse at all for what you know you did.

Who showed no empathy, and no compassion for how you made the person who loved you and was dedicated to you feel.

Here's what you need to understand...

They don't want to meet you again.

In fact, they never even want to hear your name ever again.

They don't even want to cross paths with you, even if by some miracle you do realise that you need to change and you end up becoming the best version of yourself.

Because the damage that you left behind and that you negated was so great, and so difficult to heal from.

Because they remember how you made them feel, how your actions destroyed their heart, their worth, and their faith and trust in you time and time again.

They remember how many times they had to beg you for the very basics; for your time, your communication, your respect, your compassion, your loyalty and commitment, your appreciation, and someone who could just be a safe space for them; but you gave them none of this.

All you gave them was pain, your chaos, your drama, and in the end your total destruction of who they were before they met you.

They are tired of your lies, they are tired of your endless manipulation and gaslighting that you refuse to acknowledge, and they don't want to give you another chance to try and manipulate them again.

They don't want to remember any part of the past they shared with you, because they realise now that none of it was real anyway.

So please if you happen to see them somewhere, don't say hello, don't ask them how they're doing, don't call out their name, just leave them alone and forget that you even ever knew each other.

They gave you love, when you gave them distance and pain.

Your actions have left scars so deep, scars that may never fully heal, because all you did to the person who loved you with everything they had, and who you convinced that they could trust you and feel safe with you; all you did was show them just how very unsafe the really were, and how very little you really cared.

You're strangers again, and that's the way they want things to remain.

So please, forget their name, forget that you even knew each other, and move on and enjoy the rest of your life.

They deserve better than you, they've remembered their worth again, and they no longer want to hear your name, hear your voice, or see your face ever again.

Their only hope after all of your disrespect, pain, lies, chaos, destruction, damage, and trauma you've caused, is that you can at least understand this because they know you understand and know full well exactly what you did...

09/18/2025

Narcissistic abuse is insidious




https://www.facebook.com/share/r/19dqupSPSk/?mibextid=wwXIfr

09/18/2025

Dr. Ramani is quoted in the following video
“All Domestic Violence abusers are narcissisticDr. Ramani



https://www.facebook.com/share/r/16yW8icgNo/?mibextid=wwXIfr

09/17/2025

A narcissist will project onto you everything that’s gone wrong in their life.

09/15/2025

This is going to offend a lot of narcissistic people.
But it's time you start admitting that you mistreated people and acted out of line, instead of being delusional and acting like you were the victim.
In reality, your actions put you in a position where you lost everything and everyone who genuinely cared for you. Then you go and find cheerleaders who support your foolishness and believe everything you say, instead of finding people who will be honest and tell you that you're wrong and need help.
Healing doesn't come from attention.
It comes from accountability.
And that's exactly what narcissists run from.




Those cheerleaders aka flying monkeys need healing as well.

09/15/2025

A narcissistic man is often a son with a mother wound.
Rejected… or worshipped as the golden child. It starts in childhood, long before you ever met him. If he was rejected, he learned that love was conditional — that affection had to be earned, that approval could be taken away at any moment. He carried that hunger into adulthood, searching for someone who would finally fill the void, yet never trusting that love could truly last.

If he was the golden child, the favored one, it wasn’t freedom — it was a different kind of prison. He was placed on a pedestal he never asked for, praised when he performed, punished when he disappointed, controlled under the disguise of “love.” The golden child grows up believing he exists to meet someone else’s needs, not his own. He grows up praised but powerless, adored but emasculated.

And here is the tragedy: unhealed, both paths lead to the same destination. The son becomes a man, but the wound remains a boy inside of him. He does not know how to love without control, without projection, without rage. So when he enters a relationship with you, history starts to repeat itself.

At first, you are his partner — his equal, his love. But slowly, you’re pulled into a role you never agreed to. You stop being his partner. You become his mother. The one who comforts his tantrums, absorbs his moods, and holds the pieces of the man he never became.

And the rage he carries for her — the resentment he never resolved, the pain he never admitted — gets redirected onto you. You feel the sharp words, the cold silence, the punishments that make no sense. It isn’t because of who you are, but because you are standing in the place where his wound was born. You are his mirror, his battlefield, his substitute for what he could never confront.

This is why love with a narcissistic man feels less like a partnership and more like a war you never signed up for. You keep trying to nurture, heal, and understand, not realizing the wound was never yours to fix. Because no matter how much love you pour into him, it cannot replace the love he never received — or undo the damage of the love he received the wrong way.



Narcissis coach

09/15/2025

NEGGING...DID THE NARC OR THEIR FLYING MONKEYS NEG YOU? Negging is a sneaky, underhanded, covert way of undermining your self-confidence and self-esteem.
Narcs will do this to make you less confident in your own judgment and more vulnerable to their advances. Negging + love bombing can make you think that you can have your dreams come true if only you do what the narc says...and the narc is gaslighting you with negging. It's total MindF**k.
Negging can sound like a compliment while also putting you down. It can be so subtle that you don't realize that the object is to make you feel insecure so you can be more easily controlled.
Ever notice you were being negged? Did you call the person out? What did they say when you did?

Negging is an act of emotional manipulation involving backhanded compliments or subtle insults intended to undermine a person's confidence and make them seek the manipulator's approval. Coined by pickup artists, this tactic aims to create self-doubt and a sense of needing to earn the person's validation. While often subtle and disguised as flirting, negging is a red flag for potentially abusive behavior and can negatively impact self-esteem.
How it works:
Backhanded Compliments: The manipulator offers a comment that sounds like a compliment but actually contains an insult or a jab at the other person's confidence.
Undermining Confidence: The goal is to make the recipient feel less confident and more insecure, making them more susceptible to the manipulator's opinions and desires.
Seeking Approval: The person being negged may feel the need to prove themselves or win the manipulator's approval, creating a dependency.
Gradual Escalation: Negging can be subtle at first, but it's a consistent behavior that can escalate over time, potentially leading to more significant forms of abuse.

09/15/2025