House Duck Chicken

03/05/2026

From the Man in the Van Candy Shop, introducing the most confusing candy ever made…

TAINTS™.

Not sweet.
Not sour.

Just… Taints.

Two sides.
Two mysterious flavors.

All you have to do is lick a side and find out what you get.

Scientists refuse to study it.
Parents refuse to buy it.
And yet… people keep asking for more.

Taints™.
The candy that lives somewhere in between.

02/27/2026

On this episode of Weird Laws…

In Alabama, it is allegedly illegal to wear a fake mustache in church.

Real mustache? Totally fine.
Fake mustache? Criminal mastermind.

Who was this law targeting?
Undercover choir infiltrators?
Suspiciously glued-on handlebars during Sunday service?

Somewhere, an usher is doing upper-lip inspections like it’s airport security.

Weird Laws continues.

02/20/2026

“She said ‘fire.’ He said ‘Carol.’ The Slop said nothing because he’s better than that.

📺 The Fairmont | Fridays 9PM | HDCTV”*

02/18/2026

So now we’re investigating Canada for “double touching the rock.”

Very serious.
Very dramatic.
Slow-motion replay of fingertips like it’s a crime documentary.

Or…

Maybe it was just advanced Canadian sign language for ordering a double double.
Two taps. Cream. Sugar.

Honestly the only illegal move here would be not sharing the Timbits.

HDCTV — asking the hard questions so you don’t have to.

02/15/2026

Officials claim the Canadians may have “double touched the rock.”

A violation?
A misunderstanding?
A perfectly polite accident?

But while cameras focus on fingertips…

No one is asking about the Dutch team’s mysterious “safety meeting.”

Why did they come back… noticeably more relaxed?
Why does the rink suddenly smell… funky?
And why is everyone pretending not to notice?

Is this a curling controversy?
Or the most passive-aggressive scandal in winter sports history?

HDCTV investigates.

02/15/2026

So apparently shooting people with arrows is now considered “not scalable.”

Cupid’s in a modern job interview trying to pivot into tech.
They’re asking about KPIs.
He’s asking where to park the bow.

“Can you transition from divine love execution… to data entry?”

Buddy has a 2,000-year track record.
Zero Excel certifications.
And HR is concerned about “workplace weapon policies.”

Happy Valentine’s Day.
Update your résumé. Love is now subscription-based. 💘

02/13/2026

Before triple corks.
Before carbon fiber everything.
Before helmets became standard.

There was 1970s Olympic moguls.

Skinny skis.
Mid-air tricks that barely rotated.
Mustaches that deserved their own podium.

This was peak ski culture:
• Hair flowing at 40 mph
• Lodge darts like it was part of the warmup
• Recovery beers considered hydration science

Were the tricks bigger today? Sure.
Were the vibes better back then? Absolutely.

In this video we look at vintage Olympic moguls skiing from the 1970s and ask the real question:

Can we bring this energy back?

02/11/2026

Ohio on Saturday: “Release the harpoons.”
Ohio on Sunday: “The whales deserve peace.”

🚨 NEXT EPISODE OF WEIRD LAWS — ONLY ON HDCTV 🚨In the great, landlocked state of Ohio…it is illegal to hunt whales on Sundays.Yes.Whales.In Ohio.But only on...

02/09/2026

Step inside the ultimate Dad’s Super Bowl Watch Party Playset:
• Dad yelling at the TV (blood pressure rising 🩸)
• Carl “watching” the game but really eyeing Mom’s nachos 😏
• Hot Mom in the kitchen, pretending she doesn’t notice
• Snacks, chaos, and zero defense on the field

Who needs a real game when the action figures handle all the drama?

02/06/2026

still an egg.
Add another egg.
Add toast.

Congrats — you didn’t ruin your brain, you just made breakfast after smoking a fat blunt.
This message brought to you by hunger and zero regrets.

02/03/2026

This is why the internet needed parental controls for adults.

Welcome to ONLY NANS — the adult website your browser history will never explain.Hot casseroles.Dangerous confidence.And yes… someone is absolutely here for ...

01/31/2026

Bro… I said don’t squeeze the juice.

.Two stoners. One cup. Zero self-control.What starts as a simple slushie quickly becomes a SLOPPIE—a green slop disaster filled way past the rim.Now it’s ove...