05/07/2026
I know I’ve been making my pregnancy posts feel humorous and light-hearted, but today feels heavy.
Like, not “haha hormones are silly” heavy.
More like “I am scared I might start believing the negative thoughts spiraling around in my head” heavy.
I think the hardest part is the helplessness. The self-awareness. Knowing I’m being ruled by my emotions, but not knowing how to climb out from under them.
It’s like the rational part of me is standing there with a clipboard saying, “Okay, babe, this is probably hormones,” while rage and misery have already stolen the keys and are driving the bus off a cliff.
I want to crawl out of my body.
I want to hide in a cave somewhere with my preferred snacks, colouring books, zero responsibilities, and absolutely no one breathing near me until I am ready to give birth.
Not because I don’t love my people.
Because I love them so much that I hate feeling like this version of me is the one they’re getting.
Today I don’t feel glowing.
I feel overwhelmed. overstimulated. scared. trapped inside a body and brain that are doing way too much.
And I know it will pass.
But today, it feels enormous.
So I’m trying to say the honest thing without dressing it up too much:
Pregnancy can be beautiful and still make you feel like you’re disappearing inside yourself.
Both can be true.
And yes, I know there is something deeply cringe about taking a photo while you’re crying.
Trust me, I know.
There is a tiny little voice in my head that’s like, “Girl, not the front-facing camera during an emotional crisis.”
But I’ve learned time and time again that people don’t always take pain seriously when it’s quiet.
When you cry in the bathroom.
When you smile through it.
When you keep functioning.
When you say, “I’m fine,” because explaining the depth of it feels like too much labour on top of already surviving it.
So yes, I took the photo.
And then I put my phone away and had one of those heavy, ugly, cathartic cries where your whole body feels like it’s trying to wring itself out.
Not because I wanted to perform my pain.
But because I promised I would keep it real with you guys.
And today, this is what real looks like.
Not polished.
Not funny.
Not easy to package.
Just a pregnant woman having a really hard day, trying not to believe every terrible thing her brain is whispering, and choosing to be honest about it instead of pretending I’m glowing when I feel like I’m coming apart.
