01/10/2025
Broken Promises, Quiet Strength: The Son Who Built Himself.
Some stories sound like comedy, but behind them lie scars that are not funny at all. Recently, a popular Cameroonian comedian based in Canada opened up about her journey of raising her son all alone for 19 years. After nearly two decades, the father showed up, seeking reconciliation. Social media, through 237 Palava, reacted — some saying, “The boy is already big. What’s the use of reconciling now?” But for me, I believe a child can never outgrow their need for a parent. If you ran away, if you failed in your responsibility, then coming back means carrying the weight you dropped — caring, guiding, and protecting until that child fully stands.
Her story shook me deeply because it mirrored my own life.
My name is Emmanuel Fondze, and come January, I will clock 24 years. Growing up, I believed my father was dead. I thought he didn’t exist at all. My mother never told me about him. I deserved to know at least something — even a name, even a clue — but she kept it all locked inside.
Then tragedy struck. While I was still in Class 5, my mom died, leaving me with more questions than answers. From that moment, I carried an invisible burden — the pain of not knowing who I was or where half of me came from.
For years, I lived with that emptiness, until about a year ago, when life turned another page. My late mother’s best friend reached out to me through Facebook. She took my WhatsApp contact and told me the words that nearly stopped my heartbeat: “Your father is alive.”
Alive? After all these years?
She told me I could even meet him because he lived in Buea. Not long after, a mutual friend contacted him and mentioned me. His response pierced me deeper than silence ever did: “I never knew she got pregnant. Back then, she was just in Form 2 when she told me she was expecting. I thought she was joking.”
Imagine hearing that. For years, I thought I was abandoned. I carried hate for a man I believed had thrown me away. But then I learned he didn’t even believe my existence was real. That truth didn’t bring healing — it added confusion.
At first, I softened my heart. I told myself maybe he didn’t know, maybe now he would show up, maybe I would finally have answers. I expected him to come. I waited. But days turned into months, and up till today, he has never shown up.
So tell me, what could he possibly offer me now that would make me happy?
I grew up the hard way. I faced unimaginable struggles without him. Today, I stand tall — an independent young man, a teacher, earning my own pay. I am not lost. I am not begging. I even discovered a gift inside me — I love writing. Despite everything, I’ve already written two books. My dream is to become a world-renowned author, to use my pen to touch lives across the globe.
So if tomorrow I rise higher, if tomorrow I’m celebrated worldwide, what will I do if he comes? Honestly, I feel like I would throw him out like the piece of wreck he chose to be in my life. Because where was he when the storms beat me down? Where was he when I needed a father’s hand, a father’s words, a father’s protection?
Don’t misunderstand me. I am an Evangelist, but don’t use that against me. Being a Christian doesn’t mean I should accept irresponsibility without truth. Yes, I wrestle with forgiveness. Yes, I sometimes wonder if reconciling could bring peace. But I also know that wounds don’t close by pretending they never existed.
A father’s role is not something you put on and off like a shirt. A father is called to be present — until the child is grown, until the child marries, until the very end. That’s responsibility. That’s love.
This is my story, raw and unfiltered. And when I heard the comedian’s story, I realized I’m not alone. Many children carry the same silent scars.
So I leave you with this question:
👉🏾 If the person who abandoned you shows up today, what must they do to truly deserve a place in your life again?
