10/06/2026
Weird symptoms you didn’t know were signs of Menopause:
• Suddenly terrified of driving on the highway like a newborn deer
• Shoulder froze solid for no reason and now I cannot reach my own bra
• Hives showing up like I’m allergic to existing
• Vertigo attacks that make me feel like l’ve had three margaritas at 9am
• That thing where it feels like something is stuck in your throat but there’s nothing there (yes it’s a real thing)
• Foot pain so bad I’m walking like a 90 year old before coffee
• Internal buzzing like my body is running on bad Wifi
• Legs going rogue at night like they’re auditioning for
Riverdance
• Heart randomly pounding like I’m about to give a TED
Talk in my sleep
• Itchy ears that no amount of scratching will fix
• Brain zaps that feel like a tiny static shock inside my
Skull
• Smelling ci******es when nobody is smoking and questioning my sanity
Anyone else? Let me know 💚