Stuart Downing Life Coach & NLP

13/07/2025

With age… your eyes may stop seeing up close, and your ears may miss the distant sounds.
You sleep fewer hours, you walk a little slower—
But something beautiful begins to happen.

You start loving yourself a little more.
You carry fewer regrets.
And you begin to chase your own happiness—without apology.

You become selective with your circle.
Only the real ones remain.
You stop searching for answers you already carry inside, and you no longer need unsolicited advice.

You don’t greet those who never greeted you.
And you no longer waste energy arguing with people who don’t know how to listen.

With the years, you realize:
There’s only one life—and it’s far too precious to live in fear.

So you slow down.
You savor the little moments.
You embrace your wrinkles.
And you stop giving the mirror the power to define your worth.

Because growing older isn’t about fading.
It’s about finally shining—on your own terms. 💫

— Richard Gere

11/07/2025

Morgan Freeman once said:
"There comes a day when you no longer feel the need to prove anything to anyone. Not because you’ve given up, but because you’ve grown."
You grow tired — tired of explaining, of justifying, of shrinking yourself to fit into other people’s lives.
Tired of waiting for messages that never come, apologies that never arrive, people who don’t know how to love.
The truth is simple:
Not everyone will understand you.
Not everyone will stay.
Not everyone will treat you the way you deserve.
But they don’t have to.
Because there comes a moment when you choose peace.
You choose silence over reaction.
You stop lowering yourself into other people’s storms.
Because sometimes, the most mature response is silence.
The strongest move is to walk away.
And the greatest act of self-love is to stop putting yourself last.
It’s not selfishness — it’s healing.
It’s the courage to choose yourself.
To rebuild your soul without anyone’s approval.
To keep moving forward — even alone — but with dignity.
And when you do that… life begins to realign.
Because the right people don’t ask for explanations.
They see you.
They feel you.
They respect you — without you having to beg for it.
— Morgan Freeman

06/07/2025

Steve Jobs said before his death.
He died a billionaire at 56yrs of Pancreatic Cancer and here are his last gifts to us…his thoughts on Life:

"I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world. In others’ eyes my life is an epitome of success.

However, aside from work, I have little joy. In the end, wealth is only a fact of life that I am accustomed to.

At this moment, lying on the sick bed and recalling my whole life, I realize that all the recognition and

wealth that I took so much pride in, have paled and become meaningless in the face of impending death.

You can employ someone to drive the car for you, make money for you but you cannot have someone to bear the sickness for you.

Material things lost can be found. But there is one thing that can never be found when it is lost – "Life".

When a person goes into the operating room, he will realize that there is one book that he has yet to finish reading – "Book of Healthy Life".

Whichever stage in life we are at right now, with time, we will face the day when the curtain comes down.

Treasure Love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends...

Treat yourself well. Cherish others.

As we grow older, and hence wiser, we slowly realize that wearing a $300 or $30 watch - they both tell the same time...

Whether we carry a $300 or $30 wallet/handbag - the amount of money inside is the same;

Whether we drive a $150,000 car or a $30,000 car, the road and distance is the same, and we get to the same destination.

Whether we drink a bottle of $300 or $10 wine - the hangover is the same;

Whether the house we live in is 300 or 3000 sq ft - loneliness is the same.

You will realize, your true inner happiness does not come from the material things of this world.

Whether you fly first or economy class, if the plane goes down - you go down with it...

Therefore.. I hope you realize, when you have mates, buddies and old friends, brothers and sisters, who you chat with, laugh with, talk with, have sing songs with, talk about north-south-east-west or heaven and earth, .... That is true happiness!!

Five Undeniable Facts of Life :
1. Don't educate your children to be rich. Educate them to be Happy. So when they grow up they will know the value of things not the price.

2. Best awarded words in London ... "Eat your food as your medicines. Otherwise you have to eat medicines as your food."

3. The One who loves you will never leave you for another because even if there are 100 reasons to give up he or she will find one reason to hold on.

4. There is a big difference between a human being and being human.
Only a few really understand it.

5. You are loved when you are born. You will be loved when you die. In between, You have to manage!

NOTE: If you just want to Walk Fast, Walk Alone! But if you want to Walk Far, Walk Together!

Six Best Doctors in the World
1. Sunlight
2. Rest
3. Exercise
4. Diet
5. Self Confidence and
6. Friends

Maintain them in all stages of Life and enjoy a healthy life.

Life coaching
[email protected]
Call / WhatsApp 07825 599340
www.stuartdowning.co.uk
Stuart Downing Anxiety,Stress and Well being Coach Group

06/07/2025

It’s heartbreaking when you realize that maybe the safest way to live is alone. You get older, and the hope of finding someone solid, someone to build a real life with, starts to fade. People are too self-absorbed, caught in the streets, hung up on an ex, or trapped in their past. Or worse, you meet someone who drifts into your life, disrupts your peace just enough to keep you hooked, but never fully chooses you - never stays, but never lets you go either.
We’re living in a generation where toxicity is normalized, where settling for chaos feels easier than holding out for something real. And the saddest part? Staying single starts to feel like the only way to protect your sanity, your heart, your peace because the alternative is playing a game where no one follows the rules.
Real relationships built on honesty, commitment, and real communication feel almost mythical now. And the loneliest realization is knowing exactly what you have to offer, but realizing there’s no one out there who’ll truly value it. No table to bring it to. Just empty chairs.

28/04/2025

A.D.H.D. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
Take my hand and come with me,
I want to teach you about ADHD.
I need you to know, I want to explain,
I have a very different brain.
Sights, sounds, and thoughts collide.
What to do first? I can't decide.
Please understand I'm not to blame,
I just can't process things the same.
Take my hand and walk with me,
Let me show you about ADHD.
I try to behave, I want to be good,
But I sometimes forget to do as I should.
Walk with me and wear my shoes,
You'll see its not the way I'd choose.
I do know what I'm supposed to do,
But my brain is slow getting the message through.
Take my hand and talk with me,
I want to tell you about ADHD.
I rarely think before I talk,
I often run when I should walk.
It's hard to get my school work done,
My thoughts are outside having fun.
I never know just where to start,
I think with my feelings and see with my heart.
Take my hand and stand by me,
I need you to know about ADHD.
It's hard to explain but I want you to know,
I can't help letting my feelings show.
Sometimes I'm angry, jealous, or sad.
I feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and mad.
I can't concentrate and I lose all my stuff.
I try really hard but it's never enough.
Take my hand and learn with me,
We need to know more about ADHD.
I worry a lot about getting things wrong,
Everything I do takes twice as long.
Everyday is exhausting for me...
Looking through the fog of ADHD.
I'm often so misunderstood,
I would change in a heartbeat if I could.
Take my hand and listen to me,
I want to share a secret about ADHD.
I want you to know there is more to me.
I'm not defined by it, you see.
I'm sensitive, kind and lots of fun.
I'm blamed for things I haven't done.
I'm the loyalist friend you'll ever know,
I just need a chance to let it show.
Take my hand and look at me,
Just forget about the ADHD.
I have real feelings just like you.
The love in my heart is just as true.
I may have a brain that can never rest,
But please understand I'm trying my best.
I want you to know, I need you to see,
I'm more than the label, I am still me!!!!❤️
Author Unknown

Call Stuart -07825 599340 to discuss how ADHD Coaching can make a big difference in your life
stuart .co.uk
www.hypnotherapy4freedom.com
https://www.stuartdowning.co.uk/client-reviews
online appointments available

18/04/2025

You can be a great father and still lose your family, because in today’s world, effort means nothing if you’re a man.

You wake up early.
You go to work.
You pay the rent.
You stay loyal.
You pray for the family.

Still - you lose them.

Not because you failed but because modern fatherhood is built like a trap.

You do everything right…
and still end up wrong.

She leaves. The kids follow. The house becomes a memory.

You keep paying bills.
She keeps changing the narrative.

And if you dare raise your voice?

You’re “toxic.”
You’re “unstable.”
You’re “the reason she left.”

You paid for the piper—
but she still dictates the tune.

You followed the rules. But that’s the problem.

Because if you follow the rules, you’re not a leader. If you’re loyal, you become a simp.

You were told to protect her. So you did!

You were told to provide. So you did!

You were told to stay faithful. So you did!

And now?
You’re divorced.
You’re depressed.
You’re disposable.

The court says, “You are not the father.”

But the damage is already done.
Your heart? Shattered.
Your name? Stained.
Your wallet? Still responsible.

They call it “in the best interest of the child.”
A child she won’t even let you see...

Meanwhile, she smiles in silence.

Because she already won.

The lie worked.
The system backed her.
And society cheered her on.

You?
You’re on your fourth therapy.
And nobody clapped you for surviving.

Let’s talk facts.

80% of divorces are initiated by women.
1 in 3 DNA tests come back negative.
Thousands of men are behind bars - not for crime - but for not being able to keep up with court-mandated payments…
for children that might not even be theirs.

Let that marinate.

You lose your family … and they still blame you.

“She probably warned him.”
“He chose beauty, not brains.”
“He didn’t discern well enough.”

Really?

So when men of God...
Pastor Chris Oyakhilome,
Benny Hinn,
Kenneth Copeland...
end up separated or divorced…
they didn’t hear God?

They didn’t fast enough?
They didn’t have spiritual eyes?

Or maybe…
just maybe…
they married women who were experts at hiding their true nature.

Until one day - they woke up, and switched.

No warning.
No remorse.
Just “I’ve changed.”

Modern women don’t leave you for cheating.

They leave because your timeline expired.
You don't tickle their fancy and fantasy again.
You couldn’t afford the soft life package again.
So they 'cut their losses' & shoot for the streets.

You were good. But you weren’t enough.

Not rich enough.
Not fun enough.
Not trendy enough.

And now the kids are gone.
The house is quiet.
Your heart is tired.

And all you hear is:

“Real men fight for their families.”

As if you didn’t already bleed trying.

Let me be clear.

You can be a great father and still lose all.

Not because you didn’t love enough.
But because love doesn’t matter anymore.

Not if you’re a man.

Let the keypad warriors flood the comments.
Let the women say “not all of us.”
Let the deniers come swinging.

But the real men know.

They’ve lived it.
They’ve bled it.
They’ve buried it.

Say nothing and move on.

12/02/2025

The Final Separation between partners after a long relationship is difficult, not just emotionally but also physiologically.

Throughout the relationship, even one with problems, both individuals activate neural networks that produce chemical neurotransmitters and peptides, giving their experiences a certain emotional tone and reinforcing their personalities.

The two become so accustomed to the relationship that, even when they decide to end it, they cannot immediately destroy the neural connections and chemical attachments between them.

After the breakup, memories of their experiences remind the body that it is now deprived of its usual chemical stimulation.

The pain of ending a relationship can be caused by the interruption of a neurological habit.

Considering the chemistry of emotional dependence, it’s no surprise that so many couples break up, reunite, and then repeat the cycle.

We may separate from others, but we remain chemically dependent on the emotional states generated by the relationship, at least for a period of time.

When we feel a certain attraction toward a partner, we are convinced that they are the right one for us.

However, most of the time, the person we are drawn to reflects the unresolved emotional wounds we carry.

Often, when we feel a strong attraction to someone, it’s not just hormones at play- we are intuitively drawn to partners because we subconsciously believe they will help us resolve our emotional issues, even ones we are unaware of.

The more abandoned we feel, the more we are attracted to people who tend to abandon those who care about them.

10/02/2025

Insomnia and Sleep issues
Lying awake at night, staring at the ceiling, feeling wired but exhausted?
If that sounds familiar , there’s a good chance your cortisol levels are out of control.
And here’s the deal: high cortisol is more than just a bad night’s sleep—it’s a serious roadblock to your health, energy, and your ability to hit the flow state.
Cortisol is your body’s built-in alarm system.
It’s meant to help you handle stress, but when it sticks around too long—especially at night—it can wreak havoc on your sleep.
Studies show that elevated evening cortisol is one of the biggest culprits behind tossing and turning, disrupted sleep cycles, and that feeling of being “tired but wired”.
When your cortisol levels are too high in the evening, your body stays in a state of alertness, making it nearly impossible to relax and fall asleep.
And poor sleep doesn’t just affect your mood—it drags down your entire health, energy, and performance.
The Cost of High Cortisol:
1. Disrupted Sleep
High cortisol messes with your body’s natural circadian rhythm, making it harder to fall asleep and stay asleep. You wake up feeling drained, no matter how long you’ve been in bed.
2. Increased Stress and Anxiety
Cortisol is linked to heightened stress responses. If your cortisol stays high, your body is constantly in “fight-or-flight” mode, which leads to more stress, anxiety, and mental fog during the day.
3. Blocked Flow State
Cortisol doesn’t just affect your sleep—it blocks your ability to enter the flow state. The flow state is where you’re fully focused and performing at your best, but high cortisol keeps your brain stuck in overdrive, making it impossible to focus deeply or think creatively.
Now, imagine what happens when you cut evening cortisol by 25%.
You’re not just lowering your stress—you’re giving your body the green light to relax, sleep deeply, and wake up energized.
Lowering cortisol improves your sleep quality, reduces anxiety, and opens the door for you to finally access the flow state.
When cortisol comes down:
1. Deep, Restorative Sleep
Lower cortisol allows your body to enter its natural rest-and-recover mode, improving sleep quality and helping you wake up refreshed and ready to take on the day.
2. Reduced Anxiety, More Clarity
When your cortisol levels are balanced, you’ll notice less anxiety, better mental clarity, and an increased sense of calm. This sets you up for a more productive, focused day.
3. More Consistent Flow State
With cortisol in check, your mind and body can work together, making it easier to slip into the flow state—where creativity, focus, and high performance come effortlessly.
You don’t have to spend another night staring at the ceiling, trapped in a cycle of poor sleep and high stress.
Lowering your evening cortisol naturally is possible, and it’s the key to better sleep, more energy, and consistent access to the flow state.
Call Stuart - 07825 599340 to discuss your insomnia issue in more detail
Email - stuart .co.uk
https://stuartdowning.co.uk
https://hypnotherapy4freedom.co.uk/.../hypnotherapy-for...
Client reviews - https://stuartdowning.co.uk/coaching-reviews

08/02/2025

There’s a quiet devastation in the spaces left by words unspoken and endings unexplained. It’s not the departure itself that haunts us but the absence of acknowledgment—the silence stretching where closure should be. These unresolved moments carve deeply into us, leaving wounds that heal not with clarity but with time and self-reckoning. Yet, hidden within this ache lies a profound opportunity to reshape our understanding of loss and resilience.

We are storytellers by nature, endlessly seeking meaning in the events of our lives. When a relationship ends without explanation, it disrupts that narrative, leaving us scrambling to piece together fragments of what remains. We revisit conversations, scrutinize memories, and question our role in the unraveling. But what we’re truly searching for is not merely answers—it’s permission to move forward. Life, however, often denies us that luxury.

Unfinished endings are a different kind of teacher. They strip away our illusions of control and force us into the uncharted terrain of uncertainty. This is where transformation begins—not in the resolution we crave but in the resilience we cultivate in its absence. It’s an uncomfortable truth: the closure we seek rarely comes from others. It is something we must create for ourselves.

In this way, unspoken goodbyes mirror life itself: unpredictable, unresolved, and often devoid of the tidy conclusions we expect. They remind us of the limits of our influence over others and the need to anchor ourselves in something steadier—our own inner peace. To live is to experience loss, and to grow is to learn that not all losses come with explanations.

But how do we navigate this ambiguity? How do we quiet the restless thoughts and unmet longings stirred by unanswered goodbyes? The answer lies not in seeking external resolution but in embracing the silence as a space for reflection and renewal. The discomfort of uncertainty can become a catalyst for self-discovery—a moment to ask not why someone left but what their absence teaches us about our own strength.

Philosophers and thinkers across time have grappled with the challenge of letting go. The Stoics taught us to focus not on what we cannot control but on what lies within our power: our perceptions, our responses, and our ability to grow. Marcus Aurelius reminds us that tranquility is found not in external circumstances but in aligning our minds with the present moment. These teachings offer a roadmap through the fog of unspoken goodbyes, urging us to cultivate inner stability when external answers elude us.

Letting go of the need for closure doesn’t mean forgetting or ignoring the pain. It means honoring the loss while choosing not to let it define us. It means shifting our focus from what we’ve lost to what remains and what we can build from here. This process is neither quick nor easy, but it is transformative. Over time, the unanswered questions lose their sting, and the silence becomes less of a void and more of a canvas—a space where we can create our own meaning.

It’s in these moments of growth that we discover something remarkable: the strength to stand unshaken in the face of life’s uncertainties. Every unanswered goodbye teaches us patience, grace, and the ability to carry on without the neat conclusions we once thought we needed. They show us that our worth is not defined by who stays or goes but by the courage we display in the aftermath.

The pain of unresolved endings doesn’t simply vanish. It lingers, reshaping us in subtle ways. But its presence is not just a reminder of loss—it’s a testament to our capacity for love, hope, and vulnerability. And with time, the edges of that pain soften, giving way to a quiet strength that no unanswered question can diminish.
So, what does it mean to embrace the unknown? To let go of the demand for answers and instead find meaning within ourselves? Perhaps it’s about trusting that we are more resilient than we believe—that we can face life’s uncertainties with an open heart. Perhaps it’s about choosing to see each loss as an invitation to grow—a chance to step into the fullness of who we are, even when the path ahead feels unclear.

In the end, the silence left by an unspoken goodbye is not just an absence; it’s a space brimming with potential. It’s an opportunity to rewrite our story—not with answers but with the wisdom gained in their absence. And maybe, just maybe, the most profound closure is realizing we don’t need closure at all.

What might you discover if you stopped searching for resolution and instead trusted yourself to navigate the unknown?

25/01/2025

The Truth Is We Outgrow Those Who Don’t Know How to Love Us

The truth is, we outgrow those who don’t appreciate us—those who are indifferent to our presence and comfortable with our absence. We outgrow those who allow the distance between us to grow, those who make us feel replaceable.

We outgrow those who aren’t genuine with us, those who say things they don’t mean. The ones who talk the talk but fail to walk the walk when we need them by our side. We outgrow those who only embrace certain parts of us, refusing to accept us in our entirety. Those who dismiss our wants and needs, too preoccupied with their own.

We outgrow those who make us feel like we’re not worth their time or effort. Those who could give so much more but choose to hold back. The ones who consistently place us last on their list of priorities. We outgrow those who are lazy in their love—those who retreat two steps every time we move one step forward.

The truth is, we eventually reach a point where we fully understand who we are, what we want, and what we deserve. We refuse to sell ourselves short. We refuse to repeat the exhausting cycle of offering our hearts to those who don’t know how to hold them. We reach a point where self-love outweighs any other love. We choose ourselves, even when others don’t.

We outgrow those who show us they’re not invested, who won’t try, and who treat us as temporary stops on their journey to something—or someone—else. We outgrow those who fail to make us feel cherished, who don’t value us the way we deserve to be valued.

The truth is, we’re capable of giving the world to someone we love. All we need in return is the reassurance that they won’t abuse it, that our hearts are safe with them, and that they won’t turn into another regret or another lesson learned the hard way.

We outgrow those who don’t know how to love us, saving our love for those who meet us with the same depth of care. For those who are willing to catch us when we fall. We outgrow those who offer empty words but no actions. We’ve spent years learning to love ourselves, and we won’t jeopardize that growth by staying with people who make us question our worth.

The truth is, we outgrow those who aren’t afraid of losing us—because they’ll never truly understand us, never see us the way we yearn to be seen, and never give us the love we’ve always deserved.

25/01/2025

25/01/2025

George Orwell once said: The most terrible loneliness is not the kind that comes from being alone, but the kind that comes from being misunderstood; the loneliness of standing in a crowded room, surrounded by people who do not see you, who do not hear you, who do not know the true essence of who you are. And in that loneliness, you feel as though you are fading, disappearing into the background, until you are nothing more than a ghost, a shadow of your former self.

It’s that soul-deep ache of being surrounded by people—friends, family, colleagues—yet feeling completely invisible. You may smile, nod, and go through the motions, but inside, you feel a sense of isolation that words can’t fully capture. You feel as though no one truly gets you, as if the truest parts of you are hidden, left unrecognized, while the world only acknowledges the version of you that fits in.

This kind of loneliness hits hard because it isn’t about the absence of people; it’s about the absence of connection. You crave to be seen for who you really are, to have someone understand your soul’s language, your quirks, your dreams, and the complexities of your heart. But when you’re misunderstood, it feels as if there’s an unbridgeable gap between your inner world and the outside one. It’s like standing behind a glass wall, desperately hoping someone will look through and truly *see* you, only to realize they’re gazing right past you.

In that space of feeling unknown, you start to question yourself. You wonder if you should change, if you should become what the world expects or desires, just to feel a hint of acceptance. But even then, the loneliness doesn’t vanish; it only grows. Because the deeper tragedy is the slow fading of your own essence, the parts of you that you start to hide or let go of, simply to belong. You become a shadow, a ghost of the vibrant self you once were, drifting silently, holding onto the hope that one day, someone might understand.

What makes this kind of loneliness so painful is that it’s not just the longing to be loved—it’s the longing to be known, and loved *for* being known. For someone to look at the parts of you that are messy, complicated, and even broken, and to say, “I see you. I understand. And I’m here.” It’s the yearning for someone to hear your heart’s quietest whispers and to feel the depths of your soul without judgment or expectation.

Yet, even in that terrible loneliness, there’s a quiet strength. There’s a resilience in holding onto your essence, even when it feels invisible. There’s courage in keeping your light alive, in refusing to let the world’s misunderstanding extinguish the fire within you. You may feel unseen, but the truth is, your uniqueness, your complexity, is what makes you extraordinary. Somewhere, someone will value that. And until then, you can value that.

Sometimes, the journey through being misunderstood leads to a deeper understanding of yourself. It teaches you to embrace who you are, even if the world isn’t ready to. It invites you to find peace in your own company, to nurture the parts of yourself that feel lonely and unacknowledged. And, in time, you may discover that the right connections—the ones that see you, hear you, and know you—come when you least expect them.

So, hold on. Keep your essence alive. Refuse to become a shadow, even if that means standing alone for a while. Your true self deserves to be celebrated, and though the wait may feel long, the beauty of being fully known is worth every moment. Your people—the ones who truly understand your soul—are out there, and when they find you, the terrible loneliness will start to fade. You’ll realize that your essence was never meant to be hidden. It was always meant