09/07/2025
Sorry this is a long one but it's personal and something I see and hear a lot in recovery circles.
This video hits me hard even now.
After spending most of my life as an observer of it. It was like walking through treacle.
For me it was like the feeling you get when you are underwater. I could still hear and see everything but it looked blurred and sounded muffled. It was a little like constantly living life in an outer body experience.
I could see no way past it. Sure I tried lots of things but as someone with a substance dependency issue, (addict if you must).I struggled to lock into my efforts for long enough for them to pay off and returned to my quicker short term fix constantly.
This over time kept me in this cycle as everything people mentioned that had helped them I had already tried so dismissed it. Why wouldn't I, I had evidence that I had tried it and it didn't work.
I finally found my way out of this using the SMART recovery program and supplementing that with gentle mindfulness and meditation, learning about self from respected podcast authors and that, slowly at first started the process of actually connecting with myself. I hear a lot of "connection is key" but with no real explanation of what that means or how to even start to find it.
Thankfully I now feel connected with and aware of myself which has slowly moved into true connection with others and a complete mindset shift.
Sure I still get times when it feels tough or my mind tells me it's tough. I am now able to sit with this , let it in, debate it, feel it, call it out for what it is or just ride it out knowing it's a human condition and not unique to me and it will pass.
For me the way out was definitely from within.
Patrick Glynn