28/07/2025
How are the school holidays going, you ask?
Oh, just divine. By divine, I mean I’m one fruit shoot away from a full mental collapse.
See, working from home seemed like a good idea. “Flexibility,” they said. “Balance,” they said. What they didn’t say is that I’d be interrupted every 47 seconds by two tiny dictators with the emotional range of a Shakespearean tragedy and the snack requirements of a rugby team.
Today alone, I’ve walked 3.5km inside the house up and down to fetch drinks, mediate Monster High-related arguments ("She stole Draculaura's shoes and gave them to Barbie like it's some kind of fashion charity?!?"), open 58 snacks that were then left untouched like mysterious crime scene evidence, and explain again why “No, you may not paint your entire body blue to become a Smurf.”
At one point, I found myself silently screaming into a tea towel while contemplating if it’s illegal to list my children on eBay (it is… I checked).
Not sure if I’m working from home or just a guest star on a reality show called Survivor: School Holidays Edition.
