Reprobate Mum

Reprobate Mum A voice of reason in a crazy world. Writer, health journo, mum, oft-reluctant wife, sometime philosopher, AuDHD. East London.

Follow for help navigating neurodiversity. Certified neurodiversity + kids mental health coach

https://linktr.ee/reprobatemum A collection of short stories that document the transactional nature of human relationships.

26/11/2025

Well, you asked for it, champagne socialists šŸ«©šŸ˜

Built in obselescence, or hitting temporary self-destructIt’s the day before my 45th birthday and I’m in self-destruct m...
26/11/2025

Built in obselescence, or hitting temporary self-destruct

It’s the day before my 45th birthday and I’m in self-destruct mode. Yoga has been binned, I’m smoking on my morning walk, and I’m pouring wine before 8 p.m. Compared to the total annihilation I witnessed last year from a childhood friend I mistakenly tried to save, this is mild. But still—this milestone is not landing with anything resembling grace....

It’s the day before my 45th birthday and I’m in self-destruct mode. Yoga has been binned, I’m smoking on my morning walk, and I’m pouring wine before 8 p.m. Compared to the total annihilation I wit…

Guess what’s on the menu tonight? Clue: it involves sausages šŸ˜Et voila… I simmered onions, leaks and spring onions in bu...
24/11/2025

Guess what’s on the menu tonight? Clue: it involves sausages šŸ˜

Et voila… I simmered onions, leaks and spring onions in butter until very soft and made them into a gravy, upping the veg count without anyone really noticing!

We had an inset day today, so we took advantage of the  library card deal for local residents to ho and explore the grue...
24/11/2025

We had an inset day today, so we took advantage of the library card deal for local residents to ho and explore the gruesome and glorious history of . Luckily the Ravens are still in residence, otherwise we might have lost more than our heads. Minor meltdown in the gift shop (we *really* wanted that raven) but all good and home by 3 šŸ˜‹

Sometimes it’s hard to square the circle of being a fiscally conservative liberal with auDHD and a neurodiversity champi...
23/11/2025

Sometimes it’s hard to square the circle of being a fiscally conservative liberal with auDHD and a neurodiversity champion and mental health expert.

Ultimately, I believe that parents, not the state, are responsible for children’s wellbeing and that conservative monetary policy ultimately spreads wealth amongst those who work hard and apply financial prudence and planning to their families.

One thing for sure is that governments throwing money at SEND provision will bankrupt us. It’s hard to see how low cost measures like kids using ear defenders in busy classrooms, of the private sector offering accommodations like flexibility, quiet working spaces and allowing neurodivergent employees to wear headphones impacts anyone except the individual benefitting.

Given the hoops I myself have jumped through for minor accommodations and little to no support for my ASD children (except more choice in provision and extra as time in exams, all of which cost nothing) I wonder whether the real problem is the cost of the hoops, not the support the diagnoses garner.

Diagnosis is itself such a minefield to achieve on the state, and yet neurodivergents seem to be able to identify one another with a slightly awkward social interaction.

Why don’t we just accept that neurodivergence is the norm, let people self identify and offer accommodations as standard? That way, we can shift the cost off the public sector, allow parents to provide things that might make sensory differences easier to manage, and just accept that most of us have our quirks, some more life limiting than others, and not expect a one-size-fits-all arrangement to suit all people all of the time?

If we acknowledge and understand that we’re all different and need different things at different times in our lives, perhaps we wouldn’t need to pathologise human difference because neurodivergence support would be better embedded within the infrastructure of our lives, with more understanding and more flexibility to meet people where they are rather than how we wish them to be.

The more we accept neurodivergence as a normality, the more systems and environments can be built that accommodate those who don’t fit neatly into the round hole. That way, we wouldn’t waste so much time, effort and expense on diagnosing a complex array of nuanced neurodivergence conditions to get tiny accommodations that do little to alleviate the struggles of those who truly need support.

It is ā€˜insane’, Reform’s Doge chief Richard Tice said this week, that children are wearing ear-defenders in classrooms.

I have done it both ways, and a mix of both. What are your experiences of weaning?
22/11/2025

I have done it both ways, and a mix of both. What are your experiences of weaning?

Found this really interesting on parenting style (especially in a post capitalist, fragmented society that lacks social ...
20/11/2025

Found this really interesting on parenting style (especially in a post capitalist, fragmented society that lacks social bonds), leaving parents without a blueprint on raising children effectively.

Somehow, 375 years ago, the Quakers developed a religion whose core principles align well with the pillars of modern parenting research. Gail Cornwall on what parents of any faith—or none—can learn from them: (From April)
https://theatln.tc/XQPIu6bV

šŸ“ø: Lisa Sorgini

Today I have been trying to help a mum with a non-verbal son with   (avoidant food restrictive disorder)My belief is a s...
20/11/2025

Today I have been trying to help a mum with a non-verbal son with (avoidant food restrictive disorder)

My belief is a starch rich diet is self-reinforcing as lack of gut diversity increases inflammation and autism presentation.

The plan we came up with was to gradually reduce starch (her son had a largely chip based diet) and increase protein using Huel protein (unflavoured) with coconut milk (which has Lauric acid, like breastmilk) and adding a powdered probiotics . I suggested breaking a capsule of Hey Nutrition probiotic complex.

I suggested doing this gradually as starving the yeast and harmful bacteria too quickly will cause a herxheimer (die off) reaction which can feel like bad flu and which will make her son’s behaviours temporarily worse.

By gradually reducing and replacing the unhelpful yeast and bacteria, inflammation levels should come down and her son’s autism presentation should improve.

I recommended Suckies yoghurts to increase fermented foods in his diet. Even though I think gluten and dairy can be inflammatory, fermented and as dairy is not as inflammatory.

You have to try to get the balance that works for you and your family.

It’s always difficult trying to advise for AFRID kids as I know firsthand how challenging mealtimes can be. By replacing hijacking safe foods (such as unflavoured Huel) with helpful probiotics, you can help tilt the balance of your child’s gut microbiome, which might help them accept more nourishing foods, like chicken broth, soups, stews and fermented foods in future.

https://www.facebook.com/share/1JPNmzrWTn/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Three conditions. One surprising microbiome pattern.

A small but intriguing study has found that children with autism, ADHD, and anorexia share a similar imbalance in their gut microbiomes. These are very different conditions, yet the same microbial patterns kept showing up, raising questions about how closely the gut and brain might be linked.

Researchers in Slovakia analyzed stool samples from 117 children, including boys with autism, girls with anorexia, and children with ADHD, then compared them with neurotypical peers. Across all three groups, one signal stood out: a higher ratio of Bacteroidetes to Firmicutes, two dominant bacterial groups in the human gut. This shift has been seen before in inflammatory diseases, and has been linked to changes in metabolism, inflammation, and appetite regulation.

Microbial diversity was also lower in the autism and ADHD groups. Levels of Escherichia were elevated across conditions – bacteria that normally coexist with us but can cause problems when they grow out of balance. Children with ADHD and girls with anorexia had more Desulfovibrio, microbes that thrive in low‑nutrient environments and can contribute to inflammation. Meanwhile, both groups showed reduced Faecalibacterium, a bacterium usually abundant in healthy guts and often depleted in chronic inflammatory disorders.

These similarities may partly reflect diet. Children with autism and ADHD often have sensory‑driven food restrictions, while anorexia involves purposeful restriction. Limited diets can narrow microbial diversity, and that imbalance can, in turn, worsen mental health – creating a feedback loop between gut and brain.

The study is small, and researchers caution against firm conclusions. But it hints at a shared biological thread running through conditions we usually treat as separate, and suggests the gut may play a bigger role in childhood mental health than we once realized.

In the wake of Richard Tice’s frankly ignorant and divisive comments on SEN provision I wanted to share this on ā€œthe inv...
19/11/2025

In the wake of Richard Tice’s frankly ignorant and divisive comments on SEN provision I wanted to share this on ā€œthe invisible thread of loveā€ promoted by HRH Duchess Cambridge that literally holds civilisation together.

Princess of Wales urges business leaders to balance success and time at home https://www.telegraph.co.uk/royal-family/2025/11/18/princess-of-wales-gareth-southgate-childhood-initiative/

If anyone is showing the way forward at the moment, it has to be supporting mothers to give their children the time they need to flourish. As someone who has been a working mother but who also was able (by hook or by crook at times) able to take 5 years out when my autistic kids were small, I can see the benefits this has created rippling out over time to create more positive outcomes than if I had not had that time.

From being able to identify and support their needs, to having a patient, watchful, holistic approach to supporting them. This often came at the cost of my own mental health, and I have definitely had some very dark days in my 20 years of motherhood.

With my youngest, I was able to take a year abd return to work, but only because I had spent so much time diligently researching the best childcare. With little family support, this meant a part time nanny and childminder until my daughter was two (expensive, but worth it) snd then a gentle forest school setting until my youngest was old enough for a state school nursery place.

I appreciate it’s not everyone is so fortunate. Motherhood comes with a lot of tough choices, and often they are financial. My career never truly recovered from having children when I was at my biological peak, and that has been a tough pill to swallow. Perhaps if I’d been better supported by the organisation I worked for at the time, I would not have had to make so many personal sacrifices to give my kids the start in life that has set them up for success later on.

As for Gareth Southgate- he needs to stick to what he does best. He’s pretty good at defending own goals, if I remember correctly.

Princess teams up with Sir Gareth Southgate in mission to transform attitudes towards early years

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