Jordan Is Healing Out Loud

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Jordan Is Healing Out Loud 🌈 Healing, disability & life — unfiltered
🧠 Autism • ADHD • trauma • mental health
♿️ Recovery in real time
✨ So others feel less alone.

I’ve got a slightly mad little milestone I’d really love us to try and reach… 👀💛In 7 days, I’ll reach my 1,000th day in ...
06/09/2026

I’ve got a slightly mad little milestone I’d really love us to try and reach… 👀💛

In 7 days, I’ll reach my 1,000th day in this hospital admission.

One thousand days.

And seeing as I’m currently sat here with 745 fellow hoomans following this page, I thought… could we possibly make it 1,000 people for 1,000 days?

Could we make this little corner of the internet called Jordan Is Healing Out Loud just that little bit bigger? 🥹

For anyone who’s new here, hello. I’m Jordan. ✌🏼

I’m disabled, neurodivergent, a wheelchair using hooman, a book lover, a serial overthinker, a collector of random hobbies, a lover of sunrises, dark humour, cosy things, little moments of joy and apparently now the proud owner of a micro-brick duck called Quackers. 🦆😂

But this page started for a much deeper reason.

I started sharing my life because I know what it feels like to feel completely alone inside something nobody else seems to understand.

I talk openly about disability, hospital life, trauma, mental health, autism, ADHD, recovery, chronic illness, wheelchair life, learning to walk again, the messy reality of healing, the days I cope well and the days I absolutely do not.

I talk about the serious stuff.

I talk about the ridiculous stuff.

I talk about the grief, the anger, the fear, the tiny wins, the setbacks, the books I’m reading, the things I’m building, the random thoughts I have sat outside the hospital and all the ordinary bits of life in between.

Because healing isn’t just inspirational quotes and dramatic breakthroughs.

Sometimes healing is surviving the day.

Sometimes it’s laughing at something stupid.

Sometimes it’s crying because you’re exhausted.

Sometimes it’s sitting in the sunshine building a yellow duck because that’s the only thing your brain can manage.

And sometimes it’s realising you’ve made it much further than you ever thought you would.

The biggest part of my story is that this admission began after the day I should, on paper, have died.

And next week I’ll have lived 1,000 days beyond that point.

That number is going to carry a lot for me.

A lot of grief.
A lot of disbelief.
A lot of pain.
But also a lot of life.

A thousand days of things I nearly didn’t get to experience.

A thousand sunsets, conversations, books, laughs, breakdowns, friendships, small joys, horrible days, better days, second chances and moments that probably looked completely ordinary to everyone else but meant the world to me because I was still here to have them.

That’s really what this page is about.

Living out loud. Healing out loud. So others feel less alone. 🌈

I never want this page to feel polished or perfect.
I want it to feel like a massive group chat.

A place where you can turn up exactly as you are.

A place where disability doesn’t need to be made inspirational to have value.

A place where mental health can be spoken about without shame.

A place where autistic joy gets celebrated.

A place where recovery can be messy.

A place where humour and heartbreak can exist in the same post.

A place where someone scrolling at 2am might read something and think:
“Okay. Maybe I’m not the only one.”

That means more to me than any follower number ever could.

But I can’t lie…

There would be something ridiculously special about reaching my 1,000th hospital day with 1,000 hoomans here with me. 🥹

So this is my little challenge for the week:

745 ➡️ 1,000

255 more humans in 7 days.

Completely unachievable? Most definitely. 😂

Worth trying? Absolutely.

If you already follow me and you’ve ever laughed at one of my posts, related to something I’ve written, learnt something, felt seen, felt less alone or just enjoy watching whatever chaotic little thing I’m building next…

I’d absolutely love it if you shared this post or invited someone you think might like this space too. 💛

If somebody has shared this onto your feed and this is the first time we’ve met…

Hi.

Pull up a chair.

Or a wheelchair.

We’re very inclusive around here. 😂

You’re welcome to stay.

Let’s see how many fellow hoomans we can gather before day 1,000. 🥹💛

745 / 1,000

— Jordan Is Healing Out Loud
Living out loud. Healing out loud. So others feel less alone. 🌈

06/09/2026

In 7 days time I will be 1,000 days into this hospital admission.

That does not sit right with me…

I just want to go home… oh wait… I no longer have one! 😭

Man this “second chance at life” SUCKS 💔

A nice little visit from my friend, his little boy & the doggo 🐶 I have not got a photo from the visit today, so I’m rep...
06/09/2026

A nice little visit from my friend, his little boy & the doggo 🐶

I have not got a photo from the visit today, so I’m reposting a photo from last weekend, when they visited instead.

Gary came with home cooked food — pasta! 🍝 I know from experience it’s going to taste amazing and will be a nice change from hospital food. He also bought in my new v**e & liquids which will see me through.

I heard all about Lightning McQueen, some stories from K’s first week back at school, his cars, the plans for the rest of the day and watched a very happy five year old play. Gary and I had a good catch-up + lots of doggo cuddles. 🥰

Now I’m tired, content and about to recharge my social batteries by sticking my head firmly between the pages of my book — avoiding any further social interaction where humanly possible. 📖

— Jordan Is Healing Out Loud
Living out loud. Healing out loud. So others feel less alone. 🌈

🦆 QUACKERS IS OFFICIALLY COMPLETE!!! 🦆After spending most of this weekend sat outside in the sunshine, surrounded by app...
06/09/2026

🦆 QUACKERS IS OFFICIALLY COMPLETE!!! 🦆

After spending most of this weekend sat outside in the sunshine, surrounded by approximately eight million microscopic yellow bricks, I can officially introduce you all to Quackers.💛

I am ridiculously chuffed with him.

This little dude has actually been the perfect activity to get me through this pain flare. When my body has been screaming and my energy has been somewhere beneath the floorboards, I’ve been able to sit outside or in bed, get into my own little bubble and focus on finding the next tiny piece, sliding everything together and slowly watching a duck appear.

There’s been a lot of quiet autistic joy in building him too.

I think people expect autistic joy and stimming to always be really obvious from the outside — big excitement, visible movement, lots of energy. But sometimes mine is much quieter than that.

I’m often simply sitting there completely absorbed in something, probably looking relatively calm, while internally my brain is going:

✨ tiny piece fits
✨ pattern makes sense
✨ duck is becoming duck
✨ dopamine has entered the building
✨ VERY PLEASED HUMAN ✨

Those little sparks are still flying off inside, even when you can’t necessarily see them. After feeling pretty rubbish lately, I’ve really appreciated having something that has managed to create those sparks at all.

My pain is thankfully a little better so far today, although the fatigue is absolutely kicking my backside. And yes, my eye appears to have decided opening is optional in some of these photos. 👀 When I’m exhausted, in pain and then add Oramorph into the mix, apparently one eye occasionally clocks off before the rest of me does.

But LOOK AT MY DUCK. 🥹🦆

I originally started calling him Quackers as a joke, but the name has stuck now and there is absolutely no way I am changing it. He is Quackers. End of discussion. 🐥

Next up at Jordan’s Construction Site is potentially the LEGO hamster I was sent as happy mail from my Amazon wishlist. 💌

For now though, Quackers is finished, I’ve got a little while to read before my friend pops over, and I’m sitting here feeling genuinely proud of my tiny yellow creation.

Sometimes hobbies aren’t “just hobbies.”

Sometimes they’re distraction. Regulation. Focus. Comfort. Autistic joy. Something to look forward to. Something that helps you get through a difficult few hours. 🥰

In this instance… they’re just a really bloody cute duck. 💛🦆✨

— Jordan Is Healing Out Loud
Living out loud. Healing out loud. So others feel less alone. 🌈

☕️ If you’d ever like to buy me a coffee, you can here: https://buymeacoffee.com/jordbeaven 💛

There’s absolutely no pressure — being here, reading, liking, commenting and sharing already means more than you know. 🫶🏻

Mission: complete yellow ducky 🐥 I have Quackers’ head left to build and I’m on a mission to finish him this morning!I’m...
06/09/2026

Mission: complete yellow ducky 🐥

I have Quackers’ head left to build and I’m on a mission to finish him this morning!

I’m currently sat outside in the baking sunshine read to finish his him. I’m boiling with my hoodie on my lap but needs must if I’m not to lose any pieces!

Is Quackers the right name for him or do we need a different name? I’ll leave that for you guys to decide. 💛

I think this is why I love sunrises so much now… they remind me that darkness gets an ending. 🌅 Three years ago, I came ...
06/09/2026

I think this is why I love sunrises so much now… they remind me that darkness gets an ending. 🌅

Three years ago, I came terrifyingly close to never seeing another morning.

I think some part of me remembers that every time I’m awake early enough to watch the sky slowly change colour.

There have been plenty of days since then that have still ended in darkness. Days filled with pain, grief, fear, trauma, exhaustion, and moments where getting through another twenty-four hours has felt impossible.

But then morning comes.

The sky changes.

The sun rises.

Again.

Again.

Again.

There is something incredibly comforting about knowing that I’m allowed to do the same.

I can have a terrible day and rise again tomorrow.

I can fall apart and rise again.

I can lose hope for a while and still rise again.

Healing hasn’t meant never experiencing darkness again.

Personally, for me, it has meant discovering that darkness doesn’t automatically mean the story is over.

So yes, I will sit outside and appreciate every ridiculous pink, orange and golden sunrise I get the privilege of seeing.

Because three years ago, I nearly lost all of them.

And today, I am lucky because I’m still here.

Watching the sun rise again. 🌅

— Jordan Is Healing Out Loud
Living out loud. Healing out loud. So others feel less alone. 🌈

☕️ If you’d ever like to buy me a coffee, you can here: https://buymeacoffee.com/jordbeaven 💛

There’s absolutely no pressure — being here, reading, liking, commenting and sharing already means more than you know. 🫶🏻

Okay but… yellow quack quack has officially gone on an adventure. 🐥😂Now that I’ve got a Tupperware box to keep all the t...
05/09/2026

Okay but… yellow quack quack has officially gone on an adventure. 🐥😂

Now that I’ve got a Tupperware box to keep all the tiny pieces contained, I realised there was absolutely nothing stopping me from bringing my little Temu construction site outside with me… so that’s exactly what I’ve done.

I’ve been sat out the front of the hospital this morning, sunshine on my face, my hoodie over my legs, slowly building my duck one fiddly little piece at a time. And actually? It’s been really bloody nice. ☀️

Being outside calms my brain. Whilst building something keeps my hands busy and gives my mind one small thing to focus on. Add in some warm sunshine and a couple of chapters read of my book, and this morning has felt… reasonably okay. Which, after the last few days, I am absolutely taking as a positive moment.

I’m still exhausted and in a lot of pain. My body is very loudly suggesting that lying in bed would probably be the most sensible option alongside some pain medication. But mentally, I feel so much better out here.

Basically I have reached the very annoying chronic illness dilemma of:

My mental health feels better outside.
My pain feels better in bed.

Apparently today I cannot have both. 🙃🤷🏻‍♂️

I have decided I’m choosing staying outside. I’m gritting my teeth through the pain a little because this is where I actually want to be, and right now that matters too.

Most importantly… LOOK AT MY DUCKY. 🥹🐥
He is slowly becoming an actual duck instead of an alarming collection of tiny yellow plastic pieces.

Tiny progress in warm sunshine. A few pages read of my book and a slightly quieter brain.

I’ll take it. ❤️‍🩹

— Jordan Is Healing Out Loud
Living out loud. Healing out loud. So others feel less alone. 🌈

☕️ If you’d ever like to buy me a coffee, you can here: https://buymeacoffee.com/jordbeaven 💛

There’s absolutely no pressure — being here, reading, liking, commenting and sharing already means more than you know. 🫶🏻

Good morning hoomans 🥰I’ve woken up with some absolutely bloody awful bed hair this morning, so apparently we’re startin...
05/09/2026

Good morning hoomans 🥰

I’ve woken up with some absolutely bloody awful bed hair this morning, so apparently we’re starting Saturday looking as feral as I currently feel. ✌🏼

I’m still low in mood today, but I’m not quite in the same dark place I was yesterday afternoon/evening, which I’m taking as something worth celebrating. I’m still in a lot of pain. Mostly I feel completely drained and fatigued — right now I just want to try and get on with my day as normally as I can.

Honestly, if I make it through today without crying for most of it, I’m counting that as a win. 😅

I really hate not feeling like myself. My mind feels completely all over the place and my body seems to be vibrating with this horrible mix of anxiety, adrenaline and electric-zappy energy. My heart thuds, everything feels heightened and it’s incredibly unpleasant and distressing. ⚡️😢

So… moment by moment it shall be today.

I’ve found a lighthearted book that I’m hoping will be an easy read, so I’m going to spend some time with a paperback this morning, and let my nervous system calm the heck down. 📖 I’m also hoping to do a little more of my yellow Temu ducky later because apparently tiny plastic pieces are currently one of my better coping strategies. 🐥

For now though: book, grounding, regulating and trying not to demand too much from myself.

Before I disappear into bookish land, I actually want your help with something. 🫶🏼

What would you genuinely like to see me write about on here? It can be something really specific, a general topic… literally anything.

I’m running a little low on inspiration, and I’d love to build myself a list based on what my favourite hoomans actually want to read, rather than me staring at a blank screen wondering what on earth to ramble about next. 😂

Happy Saturday, hoomans. I hope you have a lush weekend. Thank you, genuinely, for all the love and support you keep giving me. It never goes unnoticed. ❤️‍🩹

— Jordan Is Healing Out Loud
Living out loud. Healing out loud. So others feel less less alone. 🌈

My minds entered a dark place. I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m safe. I’m safe. I’m safe. I don’t care that it’s still ...
04/09/2026

My minds entered a dark place.

I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m okay.
I’m safe. I’m safe. I’m safe.

I don’t care that it’s still too warm for the pizza oodie but this mentally fragile hooman needs the safety and comfort of it so I broke it out of hiding.

This hooman is feeling the big sad but feels a little safer thanks to the weight of the oodie. Crisis safety mode = switched on. 🍕

04/09/2026

I’ve been one emotional exhausted hooman today! 🥺🫩😴 This pain has been relentless. Have I done anything other than cry today? HAHA NOPE! 😢 I wanna build my TEMU yellow ducky but the brain fog is wild…😶‍🌫️ maybe later, we’ll see.

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