Harrow Today

Harrow Today Bringing you yesterday's news, today. Harrow Today is setting out to be the #1 authentic news and satire brand in Harrow.

Our correspondents will be bringing you the latest local updates within 7-10 working days.

04/07/2025

A street sweeping vehicle (you know, the small ones that look like an enclosed golf buggy) overturned onto its side this morning on headstone drive. Reports from the scene speculate it may have been involved in a collision with another vehicle.

Harrow Today will not be reposting pictures of the scene as that feels a bit too morbidly voyeuristic.

12/06/2025

Harrow Today can report that the Siege of Morrisons has been successfully resolved following intervention by Special Forces.

Approximately two weeks ago, a pigeon occupied the Harrow superstore, terrorising locals and attracting significant social media coverage.

Harrow Today can reveal that Super Army Soldiers from the Navy stormed the frozen aisle and brought the standoff to a swift end.

Harrow Today has reached out for comment but been told all parties have better things to do.

13/05/2025

Harrow View Traffic Jam Association has called for a bank holiday to celebrate the completion of the great gas works of 2024.

A spokesperson commented:
“Motorists have long waited for this day of liberation. Many had to make difficult choices during 2024, we even heard of some people chosing to walk to the station in the morning instead of getting a lift.
It is a human right to sit in a single occupancy vehicle moving at an average of 3 mph.
We are calling for action from whichever local representative wishes to capitalise on this topic.”

Colin, Harrow Today’s Transport Correspondent, attended the traffic jam today to let you have your say.

“It’s just so nice to have the traffic moving so slowly again, this many cars on the road, I can catch up on my dating apps and email on the way to work again.”
Ben, BMW X5.

“I get to spend more time with my son who watches Tik Tok with his headphones in when I give him a lift. He took up cycling to school in 2024. I was worried about the effect that will have on his GCSEs. I’m so relieved we can get back to normal.”
Zara, Nissan Qashqai.

“I’d honestly missed being left hooked by transit vans swinging into side roads on my way to work. Good to see such boisterous behaviour on the road again.”

Martin, a bike of some sort.

If you’ve been affected by the great gas works of 2024, have your say in the comments below.

23/03/2025

Serious post.

CeX was robbed today.
A thief smashed the glass display and made off on a bike with goods taken earlier this evening before closing time.

Not much else known at this time. Will update as details become known.

Wetherspoons doubles down on it’s commitment to Net Zero by 2480 by installing a new pot plant in the gents.Regulars enc...
10/03/2025

Wetherspoons doubles down on it’s commitment to Net Zero by 2480 by installing a new pot plant in the gents.

Regulars encountering an unusually floral micturition experience expressed surprise at the move from Harrow’s best gastropub.

“I honestly thought I was supposed to dry my hands on it!” Remarked one regular who wishes to remain anonymous.

Others have speculated on what this means for other pubs in Harrow.

An inside source at the pub has suggested that management are looking at the feasibility of an indoor trellis above the urinals while The Royal Oak is tipped to play the long game, planting an oak sapling in place of its pool table.

We will keep you up to date as we learn further details.

Fresh off the pass.The Royal Oak has adopted a leaner approach to food service by installing a doorbell in the kitchen.H...
12/02/2025

Fresh off the pass.
The Royal Oak has adopted a leaner approach to food service by installing a doorbell in the kitchen.

Harrow’s most loved posh menu Greene King is taking every measure to ensure the wait time for your “Pub Classic” does not detract from your big night out in Harrow.

With added benefits of drowning out loud 20 year olds playing pool, the bell is already a hit with both regulars.

It remains to be seen if competing venues will respond reciprocally or risk being left behind by this dining development.

We will bring you more as we learn it.

Good news for all Harrovians!  A new public defibrillator comes to Harrow town centre.It is located on St. Anne's Rd out...
07/02/2025

Good news for all Harrovians!
A new public defibrillator comes to Harrow town centre.

It is located on St. Anne's Rd outside the south entrance to St. Anne's with its back firmly toward St Georges.

Some locals have speculated the siting reflects partisanship in the decades long ongoing turf war between the rival shopping centres.

Harrow Today has declined to reach out to either party for comment.

If you're interested in learning more about defibrillators, check out St John Ambulance, British Heart Foundation, London Ambulance Service or indeed any other reputable website. We aren't google.

Credit to our local correspondent, Colin, for walking into town in the cold to get us this mediocre picture.

28/01/2025

A new year, a new Harrow.
Well... a lot of it is the same as last year.
Harrow view is still partially closed, the weather is a bit rubbish and we've all struggled through to January's pay day.

This year we aim to brighten your Harrovian life with a new local news and satire brand: Harrow Today!

*Applause*

Harrow Today will bring you the latest satirical insights into the Harrow we all know and love.

Our correspondents will also be delving into the stories that matter to you, keeping you up to date on occurrences and events in town.

All are welcome to share in this journey (except the moany people who left 20 years ago but still slag off the town on social media, they can sod right off).

So buckle up, drop us a like and prepare for some light hearted informative local news posting.

Roadmap to be published soon!

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