14/12/2022
Six months ago I woke from a morphine induced sleep, with pain creeping up my shoulder and under my diaphragm, a swollen belly, heavy chest and a sore dry throat accompanied with the most intense craving for water … to the point in my drugged state I thought I was on a desert island dying of thirst.
But nope I’m in Istanbul attached to IVs, machines, a drain hanging out of me pulling and tugging, greasy hair, blooded port sites (my war wounds I now love) and being awoken by a nurse translating to me via google to ensure I get out of bed today and walk and that I can drink no more then 100ml of water every 20-30 mins.
Now before you think oh no, what have you done Han what happened to you poor thing? I’ll stop your sympathetic rage of emotions because I’ve done this to myself. I chose to be here in Istanbul hospital.
I wanted this for years prior short story - I have suffered with an eating disorder (yes fatties have eating disorders too just at the other end of the scale) for over 10 years from bulimia in my teens to then binge eating and piling on the pounds during my late twenties and not identifying the mental health depressive evil circle that I was creating.
I researched for months, I took advice from those who’ve already been.
I made this decision.
I had gastric sleeve surgery 6 months ago.
I chose Istanbul purely due to affordability it was a third of the price compared to the uk and with no loan option I had to look into other avenues. However the clinic and staff were over and above expectations.
I did my research and like I’ve said I followed people who had already been to the clinic I chose.
I was wheeled into theatre and weighed 110.5kg thats 17st4 and I’m only 5”1! And not at all active. Dress size 22-26. Bmi 47.5. I won’t even mention the list of health issues associated with my weight..
Now I weigh 77kg on the nose which is 12st2 and I’m a uk size 10-14 (depending where I shop) i have 0 health issues even my asthma is completely controlled and I’m thinking it maybe gone? I am running 15k a week over 3 days, lifting weights and doing some resistance yoga. However I’m still bmi of 32 and so my journey is still ongoing with 21kg that’s 3st3 to go to get me to goal weight and a healthy BMI range.
But I am still allowed to celebrate my success so far and damn don’t I finally feel good physically and mentally. For the first time in possibly 10 years I went out in a lovely dress for a Christmas party and meals with friends in a festive little dress I’ve never ever felt confident or comfortable in anything I’ve worn, I’ve always had melt downs or made excuses not to go out. But now I’m smiling ☺️ and I’m healthy and happy which provides a stable role model for my little girl.
Onward and upwards to another 6 months !
If you’re on your journey keep going and trust the process and if you’re contemplating weight loss intervention go for it .. my only regret is i wish I did it sooner .
HE Clinic
