Bye Bye Fatman, Hereford, Herefordshire (2025)

07/09/2025

Fatman at the Doctor’s

Whenever I have gone to the doctor with a health concern, the response has almost always been the same: “You need to lose weight.”

That has been the default answer to nearly everything, no matter the problem. Chest pain, joint pain, breathing issues, fatigue. The conversation circles back to weight. Of course, weight is a factor. I am not denying that. But what I rarely heard was an offer of help, or a pathway of support. Very few ever acknowledged the psychological side of obesity, or asked me about my binge eating disorder.

Across the years, I have occasionally felt supported, but those moments have been exceptions rather than the norm. I remember one or two doctors who treated me with real compassion, who listened without judgement, who referred me to services that could help. But far too often, I left the surgery feeling like I had been lectured rather than cared for.

The truth is, many GPs do not seem to have the time, the training, or sometimes the inclination to deal with the underlying issues. Binge eating disorder is not widely understood, and too often, compassion is missing. The problem gets reduced to “eat less and move more,” as if it were that simple. That kind of response can be patronising and demoralising, and it leaves people like me feeling even more hopeless.

For me, Bye Bye Fatman, these experiences left scars. I would avoid making appointments because I dreaded the same conversation. And like many obese people, I have carried shame into the waiting room before even sitting down. It takes courage to face your health when you feel judged before you even speak.

Perhaps things are changing. I do think there is more awareness now than when I was younger. But many obese people still dread a trip to the doctor. They fear dismissal, embarrassment, and being made to feel like a problem rather than a person.

I know that weight loss is part of the answer, but I also know that food addiction and binge eating disorder are real. They deserve compassion, not condemnation. They deserve support, not shame. And until more medical professionals recognise that, people like me will continue to leave the doctor’s office feeling heavier in spirit than we walked in.

06/09/2025

The Moment I Knew I Had to Change

The tipping point for me came with the birth of my youngest son, Cian. Because of the global pandemic, I did not meet him until he was 9 months old. I was stuck in China, separated from my family, waiting for borders to open.

When I finally held him for the first time, the love was instantaneous. I could feel it in him too, that bond that only grows between a parent and a child. And in that moment, I made him a promise. I promised that I would work on my health and fitness so that I could be there for him, not just in childhood but into his adulthood.

I want to see him leave school. I want to watch him graduate. I want to be there if he marries. I want to be there whenever he needs me.

For this to happen, I know I need to lose weight. You do not see many morbidly obese men living long into old age. That reality is not lost on me. I still face psychological challenges with food and binge eating, but I am trying every day to get my head right for my boy.

Cian changed everything. He gave me a reason bigger than myself. And that is why I will not stop.

06/09/2025

The Sweetest Name

Nothing makes my heart sing with joy more than hearing my children call out, “Daddy.” Of all the names in the world, Daddy is the sweetest. It is the sound of love, trust, and the bond between me and my little people.

Their love is my raison d’être, the reason I keep going when life feels hard. Of course, they stress me at times, as all children do, but their boundless love is also my energy, my hope, and my inspiration.

Being Daddy is not just a role, it is the greatest gift of my life.

03/09/2025

What I Eat in a Day (Now vs. Then)

People sometimes ask me what I eat, so here is the truth.

Then:
I used to binge eat without even thinking. McDonald’s on the way home. A stop at the filling station for crisps, biscuits, and chocolate. Then dinner on top of that. The rule was simple, the more unhealthy it was, the more I ate. It was not about hunger, it was about compulsion. Food was my drug, and I overdosed often.

I did reform my ways a little over time. My biggest weight loss came when I used a Total Food Replacement plan and then a very low calorie diet. It worked. I lost a huge amount of weight. But when I went back to “real food,” I struggled to sustain it. The old habits crept back, and so did the weight.

Now:
I have gone back to basics. I am eating in a way that feels more sustainable. Right now, that means a keto style diet. I eat food I actually enjoy, but I cut out the carbs that trigger cravings and binges. The weight is coming off slower, but it feels more realistic for the long term.

And of course, I still dance. Dancing has become my favourite way to move, to exercise, to feel alive in my body. It brings me joy, and that joy is what keeps me going.

This is my reality. No perfect formula. No neat before and after story. Just lessons learned, progress made, setbacks faced, and a man still determined to keep moving forward.

01/09/2025

Real happiness is spending time with the people you love — in my case, my wife and children. Nothing matters more.

31/08/2025

Stop Blaming the Individual

It is too easy to look at someone who is overweight and say, “They should just eat less and move more.” But that ignores the truth.

No one chooses to be fat. No one chooses binge eating disorder any more than someone chooses to be anorexic or bulimic. These are not lifestyle choices. They are complex conditions shaped by trauma, poverty, environment, mental health, and the power of the food industry.

For me, Bye Bye Fatman, binge eating disorder has been a lifelong struggle. I have lost weight, gained it back, and fought the same cycle again and again. People see the size of my body but not the weight of my story. They do not see the triggers, the cravings engineered by processed foods, the shame, the therapy, the endless work behind the scenes.

And yet society continues to shame people in larger bodies. We laugh at them, we judge them, we call them lazy. But we do not mock those with bulimia or anorexia. We offer them compassion. Why the double standard?

The truth is, obesity is not simply about choice. It is about how our world is built to keep us hooked on unhealthy food, about how stress and trauma change our brains, about how shame drives us deeper into the cycle instead of out of it.

So stop blaming the individual. Start asking bigger questions about the systems, the corporations, and the conditions that make people sick. And remember: compassion helps people heal, but shame never does.

31/08/2025

My Braided Experience

I never imagined that, as a white man in my 50s, I would ever have my hair braided. Yet thanks to Mo’s Barbers, I found myself sitting in the chair, having my hair styled with patience, skill, and care. And what an experience it was.

Mo is every bit as charming and friendly in real life as he is on camera. From the moment I walked in, I felt welcome. There was no judgement, no awkwardness, just laughter, conversation, and an atmosphere that made the experience so much more than just about hair.

To my surprise, the braids were styled after Central Cee, someone I had barely even heard of until recently. And yet, when I looked in the mirror, I could not help but smile. It was bold, different, and it suited me far better than I would have imagined.

There was a certain irony in the whole thing too. I live in Africa, yet I had my braids done by an African barber in the UK, a Sudanese man who has made his name in Derby, Manchester, and of course on social media. That moment summed up how connected the world really is. Culture travels with people, it crosses borders, it builds bridges wherever it is welcomed.

The reactions were incredible. Both online and in real life, in England and in Zambia, people were overwhelmingly positive, kind, and complimentary. I had braced myself for criticism, perhaps even accusations of cultural appropriation. What I received instead was something else entirely, acceptance.

For me, this was never about parody or mockery. It was not about “playing dress up.” It was about embracing the fact that African culture has shaped me more deeply than I can express. My wife is Zambian. My children are half Zambian. I live in Zambia. African culture is part of the fabric of my life, my family, and my very being.

Of course, as a headteacher, the braids will have to go as I return to work on Monday. Professional life has its own expectations, and I respect that. But the experience has stayed with me. It was fun, it was liberating, and it reminded me of how powerful culture can be in bringing people together.

I am grateful for the kindness I have received. Grateful for the skill of Mo and his team. Grateful for the way Zambia, and Africa more broadly, continues to welcome me into its embrace.

Culture is not a wall that keeps people apart. At its best, it is a bridge that connects us. And in that moment, with my hair braided, I felt that connection more strongly than ever.

29/08/2025

Braids by Mo — Central Cee Style

Having my hair braided like Central Cee by the social media sensation Mo of Mo’s Barbers was an awesome experience. Not only is Mo a talented barber, he’s a great person too. This man made me look and feel 25 years younger!

Mo's BarbersCentral Cee

29/08/2025

Back Under an African Sky

Bye Bye Fatman is back in Zambia after a few weeks in England. It was wonderful to see family and friends, and to return to familiar places that hold so many memories. But there is something about stepping off the plane, looking up, and seeing the vast African sky that makes me feel at peace.

I have no obvious hereditary ties to Africa, at least not in my recent genealogy. Yet through my marriage, through raising my Zambian children, and through my love for this continent, Africa has become home to me.

My heart will always hold England and Ireland. They are where I come from. But here in Zambia, I feel something deep and lasting too. A connection to community, to land, and to people who have welcomed me with warmth and kindness.

Home is not always about bloodlines. Sometimes it is about love, belonging, and the life you build. And for me, my heart is at home here under an African sky.

27/08/2025

Before and After is a Lie

People love a transformation story. The side-by-side photos. The big reveal. The dramatic “before” and the triumphant “after.”

But here is the truth I have learned as Bye Bye Fatman: before and after is a lie.

You do not become a new person when the scale drops. You are still you. You carry the same mind, the same insecurities, the same struggles. Weight loss does not magically erase the pain, the habits, or the demons that led to binge eating in the first place.

I know this because I have lived it. I have lost weight and felt proud. I have gained weight again and felt crushed. And through it all, I remained the same man inside. The same father. The same husband. The same person trying to do his best in a complicated world.

Yes, the body changes. Clothes fit differently. People treat you differently. Compliments come when you shrink, and silence or criticism comes when you grow. But what people do not see is the constant work behind the scenes. The mental health battles. The daily maintenance. The quiet voice inside that still doubts, still fears, still longs for peace with food and body image.

And that is why I say before and after is a lie. Because life is not two pictures. It is not two points on a timeline. It is a journey, with ups and downs, victories and setbacks, hope and despair.

What matters is not the snapshot, but the ongoing story. The persistence to get back up after falling. The courage to face the mirror when you would rather hide. The love you give your family even when you do not love yourself.

I am still the same man. Whether I am lighter or heavier, I am still me. And so are you.

So do not let before and after define your worth. Your story is not two photos. Your story is every step in between.

26/08/2025

What Obesity Taught Me About Kindness

Obesity has been one of the hardest battles of my life, but it has also taught me lessons about kindness and empathy that I could never have learned in any other way.

I understand the struggles that others face, because I have walked in their shoes. I know the physical pain of carrying too much weight, the fear of chairs breaking, the embarrassment of struggling to fit into a seatbelt, the exhaustion of simple daily movements. I know what it feels like to be judged by strangers before you even open your mouth.

I have also experienced how attitudes change with weight loss. When I lost weight, people praised me, congratulated me, told me how good I looked. And then when I regained weight, the tone shifted. People asked, sometimes bluntly, why I had reverted to my old lifestyle, as if it were just a matter of choice, as if I had simply given up. What they could not see was the psychological reality of obesity, food addiction, and binge eating disorder. It is not a simple matter of calories in and calories out. It is a complex mental health condition, tied to stress, trauma, emotions, and coping mechanisms that run deep.

I know you did not choose to be overweight, no more than I did. None of us chose the social exclusion, the stares, the health issues, or the physical restrictions. But this is our reality, the road we must walk, and it deserves understanding, not shame.

I also know that the burden is not the same for everyone. For women, it is often much worse. Society judges women’s bodies more harshly. Overweight women are mocked, ignored, or treated as invisible. They are measured against impossible beauty standards and shamed if they fall short.

Men often escape some of that pressure by hiding behind humour. The “funny fat friend” routine. The class clown. The loud laughter that covers the quiet pain. But women do not get the same social shield. They are far more often criticised, blamed, or dismissed.

What obesity has taught me is that kindness costs nothing, but it can change everything. A kind word instead of a cruel joke. A moment of empathy instead of judgement. A willingness to listen rather than assume. These small things matter more than we realise.

So if you see someone struggling, remember that their story may be far more complicated than you think. Offer kindness. Offer humanity. Because one day, you may find yourself walking a road you never expected, and you will need kindness too.

Bye Bye Fatman

07/09/2025

06/09/2025

06/09/2025

03/09/2025

01/09/2025

31/08/2025

31/08/2025

29/08/2025

29/08/2025

27/08/2025

26/08/2025

Address

Website

Alerts

Contact The Business

Shortcuts

Share

Category