23/12/2025
Raising Children Between Cultures
Raising children between cultures is a privilege, but it is also layered and complex. One of the first contrasts you notice is the difference in social norms. Much of Europe is shaped by the idea of the nuclear family, smaller, more contained, more private. In Zambia, and across much of Africa, family is expansive. It reaches well beyond parents and siblings. Aunties, uncles, cousins and grandparents are part of everyday life, not occasional visitors. Neither model is better or worse, but they require different ways of thinking about belonging, responsibility and care.
Living in Zambia does not mean abandoning Europe. The UK and Ireland remain part of our children’s heritage, even though they live far away. Some European values are worth holding on to, open communication, critical thinking, and encouraging independence. Others naturally soften when you live in a place where community, shared responsibility and collective care are stronger. Parenting becomes a process of choosing what to keep, what to adapt, and what to let go.
Language is often raised as a concern, but for us it has been more gain than loss. English is widely spoken in Zambia, and in educated circles it is often used at a very high level, so language has never been a barrier. What our children gain instead is exposure to Zambian languages. That brings cultural depth and practical understanding. Language becomes a bridge to people and place rather than a marker of difference.
There is also something I think of as cultural fatigue, though children experience it very differently from adults. Adults worry about identity, belonging and where they fit. Children, most of the time, just want to play, laugh and be children. They adapt far more easily than we often assume. At some point, as they grow older, they will need to understand their identity more consciously. That moment will come, but there is no rush. Our role as parents is not to force answers early, but to prepare them gently for what lies ahead, to give them confidence, language and pride in who they are when those questions naturally arise.
At the centre of it all, we have built our own family culture. We are still a close unit of five, but our home is open. Family comes and goes. People drop in. Someone is always visiting or staying over. The house is rarely quiet and the children are never bored. They are growing up knowing that family is not only who you live with, but who shows up, who cares, and who makes space for you.
That sense of belonging, rooted in love rather than labels, is what we hope they carry with them wherever life takes them.
