26/12/2023
We are all born happy...
We are born knowing it is our intention to come here and be happy, to be abundant and experience the joy of this reality.
We are born knowing that we are deserving and it is our devine given right to find happiness on this planet.
Except most have forgotten it. We live in a world where most have got used to the negativity and it has become such the norm for them, that they don't even realise they are unhappy.
External factors influence this from birth... parents, family, school, the system (those 'in charge') make us feel that being unhappy is just part of life and our EGOs get used to it as a condition in which to live.
But the honest truth is it isn't... we don't have to be unhappy... we can choose to be happy in any given moment... happiness is a state of being and only we have the control and right to decide if we are happy or not...
Our happiness is our decision... and ours alone.
Becoming a mother during covid impacted me... a lot!
The normal new mum experiences of lack of sleep, lack of food, lack of me time... constant anxiety of if your doing things right... the mum guilt... the baby crying - that is biological designed to trigger the mother to respond... each baby attunes its cry to be the most annoying/ responsive to its mother... so that she, and she alone will come and provide the food, comfort, love or nappy that the child needs in that moment.
Add on a whole world in a mindset of fear around a new strain of illness... and restricted access to loved ones... I found myself on my own, both physically and mentally.
Roll on a couple of years and the constant want and need from a child with still no me time... no emotional support.... and no female moral support to tell me I was good enough... I had the perception that I was on my own.
All the expectations of still having to 'adult' and keep on top of things without the freedom to keep myself in alignment and connected to myself meant I slowly, but surely lost myself to become a shadow of who I really was.
I assumed this was normal... that motherhood just wasn't the glorious life people kept going on about. I lost my light, and I lost my patience... thinking it would be years before I got it back. I got used to the blaming and shaming... the negative world around me putting mothers down, taking away our self belief, our self love, our superpower of self worth... I started to belive I am the person everyone was telling me I was and stopped being able to hold the space for our children and household.
The sad truth is that I had simply stopped being selfish... I am a sensitive empath, who is easily effected by energy. With all the demands of motherhood, I put myself last and stopped being selfish enough to look after me. I lost consistency with my spiritual practices... I stopped doing things that made me happy... I ultimately stopped filling up my own internal love cup. Throw on top the standard limiting beliefs of my inner child and life trauma we all pick up along the way (which I wasn't stopping to clear away... ) and I became the worthless, unloved person I was made to feel from the world around me. Running on autopilot... on empty... just about making it through the day.
Serenity comes from within... no one else... not your spouse, your family, your friends. Peace is only found within... if you aren't looking after your own energy then you are soon going to fill it with external lower vibrations which hold more power and will loose your connection to your soul and ultimately to spirit.
Only by alignment and the patience of consistency, can you find true happiness.
Only you can do this... by yourself, for yourself...
The cost I've had to endure... was the quality time with my children. Something I will never get back. Being sucked under, living in my EGO, meant I wasn't as present with the children as I would have wished, I missed out on so much with them at such a precious age.
Something outsiders don't understand because they look at me and see a stay at home mum who has it all...
This year I had to be my own client, claw my way out of the spiral I'd fallen in to unconsciously...
Thankfully I find myself back in alignment now and ready for a new year of happiness, abundance, and Soul Focused Living...
If any of this resonates, please feel free reach out and know that life doesn't have to feel so hard, so alone, so unhappy... whatever your circumstances.
Life is for living... let's make 2024 the best year yet.
Love & light
Melanie
xXx
💚💛🧡💜
