30/07/2025
The QR Code: An Absolute Mystery
Alright, gather 'round, folks, and let's have a little chat about the digital blight that just refuses to pack it in. I mean, we've got fridges ordering milk online, AI knocking out essays that sound like actual humans, and little watches telling me if my heart's doing a jig. But what's still 'ere, like a bad smell after a curry? The QR code. It's outlived Web3, NFTs (those daft ape pictures), thousands of blinking meme coins, and even that daft Metaverse where everyone's walking around like a block of Lego.
Seriously, it's 2025 in Liverpool, and I'm still doing the old "contort the phone into a pretzel" routine, trying to get this pixelated Rorschach blot on a greasy table to work. It's like trying to understand why a round pizza comes in a square box – it just don't make sense! It's anachronistic, it is. It's absurd! It's the digital equivalent of still using a dial-up modem to stream Netflix, with that god-awful screech. Mental, innit?
Why Are We Still Doing This?
Let's rewind, shall we? The QR code had its moment, I'll grant you. Back in the ancient times of, oh, 2010, it was a novelty. "Ooh, look! A little black and white maze that takes me to a website!" We were easily impressed back then, weren't we? Fresh off the flip-phone boat, probably still thinking texts were proper advanced.
But we've evolved! Our technology's soared past this clunky, uninspired design. Now, the "user experience," or as I call it, the "faff factor," of a QR code? Non-existent. First, you have to find the damn thing. Is it on a little sticker? Taped to the wall like a lost cat poster? Embedded in a sentient napkin, waiting to spring on ya?
Then, you gotta wrestle your phone out, open the camera app (or, God forbid, a dedicated QR reader app, if you're truly living in the digital Stone Age with the dinosaurs), and then hold it just so. Too close, too far, too much glare from a shiny forehead, and suddenly you're staring at your own confused reflection instead of a menu. It's a dance of futility, a slow-motion ballet of tech frustration that makes you wanna bang your head on the table.
The Grand Payoff?
And for what, eh? All that effort, just to be directed to a PDF that's not mobile-optimized, so you're pinching and zooming like a madman trying to read "Chef's Special: Mystery Meat Surprise." Or, even worse, it takes you to a website that's so bogged down with trackers and ads it takes longer to load than it does to cook the actual food. You could've just shouted your order at a chef by then.
We have NFC, people! Near Field Communication! It's been around for ages! You literally just tap your phone to a designated spot, and BAM! Instant access. No awkward aiming, no lighting considerations, no pixelated nightmares. It's elegant, it's efficient, it's what the future was supposed to look like! Like magic, but proper.
Or how about simple, easily memorable URLs? If a business is going to make me type in a web address, at least make it something I can actually remember without having to write it on my hand in Sharpie. "restaurantname.com/menu" – revolutionary, I know! It's not rocket science, is it?
The Digital Wild West
And don't even get me started on the security implications. QR codes are ripe for phishing. One malicious code, and suddenly you're not ordering a latte, you're giving away your banking details to some scoundrel in a basement. It's a digital Wild West out there, and the QR code is the bandit's most trusted steed. Little black squares leading you into trouble, like a dodgy signpost in a dark alley.
So, please, for the love of all that is technologically advanced and makes actual sense, let's collectively agree to retire the QR code to the dusty annals of tech history. Put it right alongside floppy disks and dial-up modems. Let's embrace the sleek, the intuitive, the actually helpful alternatives. My thumbs, my patience, and my desire for a seamless digital experience will thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I just saw a QR code on a pigeon. I'm going to go scream into a pillow.
Do you fancy mulling over any other outdated tech, or perhaps something that just plain baffles you?
