25/02/2023
A couple of years ago, I interviewed 55 women about their feelings of self-doubt and imposter syndrome.
They told me they could completely relate to the overwork and avoidance pattern that is very typical of the imposter phenomenon (aka The Perfectionism/ Procrastination loop).
Many of them told me about difficult early experiences in life that had eroded their sense of self-worth. Some of them described nothing ever being good enough for their parents (and how now, as adults, they still hold themselves to impossible standards).
They told me they’d held back from applying for jobs, which I know is common. But even worse, they told me they’d been offered jobs and turned them down!
One told me she’d quit her PhD right before she was due to finish it because she was convinced it was trash (it wasn’t).
Many said when they get a HD at Uni, they assume they got an easy marker.
When they get a job or promotion they think it’s because they were in the right place at the right time (not because they’re inherently capable and qualified).
When I asked these women what would be different if they could overcome these feelings of self-doubt and could 100% back themselves, I truly expected they would tell me about their big dreams and goals, the proverbial mountains they’d climb and the glass ceilings they’d break.
Instead what I heard, over and over again was some version of:
I would finally be happy.
I could relax.
I could be present and enjoy my kids.
I could just… breathe.
Wow. 🥺
I realised that cultivating self-trust, knowing your value and believing you are enough is not about conquering the world.
It is, quite simply, the key to your happiness, inner peace and emotional freedom.
Last call to join Beyond Confident.
We start this week.
www.cassdunn.com/beyond-confident
