17/09/2026
Many people may not know, but before all this, I was a musician and songwriter.
For 10 years it was everything to me. More than a hobby or a career goal. It was my identity. Then, in 2017, it ended.
Driving home after making that decision, Arcane Roots’ ‘Indigo’ came on my playlist. I’d never heard the end section of it before, and it caught me completely off guard. It was like looking into a mirror. I’d never heard exactly what I was feeling spoken back to me so viscerally, through the medium I loved so much.
When I got home, my wife knew I wasn’t okay. I told her my dream was over. I played her this and told her it felt like the universe was harmonising with me. Like it was mourning the death of my dream with me.
All the years I’d given. All the years I’d told myself, one day I’ll make it. And there I sat, in exactly the same place I’d been when I started as a teenager, with nothing to show for it.
I was lost, confused and, ultimately, ashamed of myself. I felt like the universe could have taken every thought inside my head and called them out from a million miles away, and everyone would have known the truth long before I had the courage to lift my head and speak it myself.
I gave up on my dream.
I failed everyone.
I failed myself.
It was one of the lowest points of my life. And as I played this to her, trying to explain how I felt, I completely fell apart.
Today, those words still hit me just as hard. But now they carry a different meaning.
Here I still remain.
Somewhere along the way, I found another way to create. Another way to tell my story.
Cycling saved my life.
🎥
