23/08/2026
10 years ago today, I rode my horse for the last time (1st pic is that actual ride)
Obviously, I didnāt know it was the last time.
Horses werenāt a hobby for me. They were my life, my career, my plans for the future and, for a very long time, a huge part of who I was
Then my health started falling apart.
I desperately tried to cling onto that life for as long as I could, but eventually my body made the decision for me. Neurosurgery, deteriorating eyesight and mobility, joints that apparently consider staying in their sockets optional, organ prolapses, surgeries, ridiculous weight loss and a digestive system that has chosen violenceā¦
EDS has a lot to answer for š
Seeing that Facebook memory today hit me harder than I expected. Not because I want anyone to feel sorry for me. Iām still here. Iāve built a completely different life and career, and there is a lot in it that I love
But I think sometimes we forget just how much we take our bodies for granted while theyāre quietly carrying us through our lives
We spend so much time worrying that weāre too big, too small, too old, too wrinkled, too scarred, not toned enough, not pretty enough⦠whatever particular flavour of bu****it weāre being sold on SM this week
Meanwhile, that imperfect body is letting us walk somewhere, drive somewhere, dance, pick up our kids, ride a horse, go to work, travel, create things, hug someone we love
And you never really think about the fact that one day, some of those things might not be an option anymore. I certainly didnāt get on my horse 10 years ago thinking āI need to remember this. This is the last timeā
I just got on.
So yeah. Iām allowing myself a little bit of āwoe is meā today, because f**k me, I miss it!
But mostly, I think that memory is a pretty good reminder:
Stop wasting so much time hating the body thatās currently letting you live your life (although I KNOW itās a battle of wills NOT to š¬)
None of us know which ordinary little thing weāre doing today that weāll one day wish we could do just one more time ā¤ļø