05/12/2022
I Asked Saint Nicholas
“Is it true?”
I asked Saint Nicholas,
“About the Christmas demon,
That rides behind you on your sleigh
And punishes bad children?”
“Quite false!”
He laughed his booming laugh,
“Why, Christmas is the season,
For jollity and revelry
Not reprimands and beatings.”
“I heard…
He flogs them with a switch
(Or so the stories tell)
Then bundles them into his sack
And drags them down to hell.”
“Not so,”
He shook his snow-white head,
“Wherever would he find
So spacious and robust a sack
To fill with all those wriggling brats?”
“But yours,”
I pointed to the sack
He held with ease across his back
“Is filled with toys for boys and girls
In every house across the world.”
“Quite so,”
He nodded in accord
"But don’t forget, I’m Santa Claus
This sack was woven with a spell
With some help from magic elves.”
“They say...
That he’s part man, part beast
With goat-like horns and cloven feet
Surely, such a devil spawn
Could work some magic of his own?"
“It's possible,”
He tugged his beard
Looking anxiously at the hour
“But you forget, at Christmas time
Dark spirits lose their power.”
“But they tell
That he’s in your employ
And bound to you with chains
So, could it be that his dark deeds
Are all done in your name?”
“Nonsense,
There’s nothing up my sleeve
Just these festive jingle bells.”
And what he said was true
As far as I could tell
"I heard he chains them!
Heard he beats them!
Takes them home as slaves
Then eats them!"
“Are you quite finished?”
Santa snapped,
Pressed a finger to his lips,
“The way you’re carrying on, young man,
You’ll end up on the naughty list.”
“But wait–”
He stopped me in my tracks,
“I really need to leave
As you well know, I’m Santa Claus
And this is Christmas Eve.”
With a “Ho! Ho! Ho!”
He turned to go
And I saw upon the ground below –
Leading right up to his sleigh –
A trail of hoof prints in the snow.
Happy Krampusnacht! 👹🎄
