02/06/2026
HikmaFm.
As a young lady, be careful around married men. You can easily become a married man's "side chick" accidentally under the pretext of marital intention. A married man typically has a stable family so there is no real urgency for marriage irrespective of what he tells you. You are the one that has your clock ticking. More so, he understands women much more than single unmarried folks so likely knows how to treat you better and make it difficult for you to consider leaving. Some might even have a better financial standing, willing to splash money on you. Even more ironic is that some women's nature seem to find a married man's attention on them more valuable because they believe it means he placed them on a higher level of relevance than his wife, so the competition creates more value in their twisted minds.
With a combination of care, attention and may be money (if available), you can ever so easily get stuck as a married man's side attraction. There are things that he may no longer enjoy from his wife because of the realistic changes in the different phases of marriage, so he uses you to fill up the void while hanging the promise of marriage over your head as bait that keeps you in. Do not throw away your dignity that way.
A promise of marriage has no legal value.
"I am just waiting for things to get better before I see your family"
My sister better start reconsidering your options or in the least play it safe. Restrict any access to you including unnecessary chitchats till he is ready to do the right thing. I am a man who loves gadgets and I usually wouldn't mind how much I spend to acquire one even if the benefit from it is shortlived. This is just to tell you how men are wired around money. We don't always spend it as a measure of value. Sometimes the amount is irrelevant as long as we get what we want. So if you are a lady easily carried away by a man spending on you, you are cheap bait for some married men. Particularly for those men that have specialised in spending money to catch women, trust me, the moment he believes the hunt is over, along goes the inclination to be generous.
If a married man is interested in you, let him meet your parents and do the right thing. The moment he is reluctant to be known beyond you two, you just might be a dispensable temporary fill for his fantasies.
Islam permits polygyny while at the same time expecting chastity and modesty. Whatever you are doing with a married man that is outside the bounds of chastity and modesty isn't connected to polygyny. It is either just you fulfilling your desires, or you being a pawn in a married man's chess game.
If he truly wants you, he would do the right thing the right way. Being open to polygyny should not imply being open to promiscuity, and you are more dignified as a woman than being a married man's pastime.
HikmaFm INSPIRING COMMUNITIES.
