30/06/2025
It's late, but let me share a vulnerable moment with you, before you start your weekend.
*get a plastic chair to sit on because this will be a long one*
When I started McDan Shipping, no one would return my calls, reply to my text messages or respond to the numerous emails and follow-ups that I sent. Now that I'm lucky enough to be the leader of one of the biggest business conglomerates in Africa, I always have a queue of people waiting to have a meeting with me.
I'll try to explain this difference.
As a young man trying to establish myself and my business, I would reach out to people who knew the industry. I was trying to understand what the shortfalls were so I would avoid them. I wanted advice, mentorship, guidance and expertise support. But I got no response. Nothing. Not even a polite "no." Sometimes, it felt like begging.
But today, I'm a business owner, and suddenly, everyone wants an audience with me. My email is overflowing with messages. Texts won’t stop coming in. I have over a thousand messages across my social media pages, I'm not exaggerating. Everyone wants a meeting, from business owners to investors to partnership collaborators, and even people who never replied to my requests before.
I get a lot of engagement on my posts on social media. People ask for my advice and feedback. They send invites to be a guest at their events, the same events that I couldn't get an entry into earlier as a young man.
Now, why am I sharing this? I'll be brutally honest here.
Most people don’t want to be there during the digging, the doubt, or the discomfort of starting something from scratch. They’d rather show up when everything is already working: when the systems are in place, the lights are on, and the success is visible. It’s easier that way. Safer. No risk. No investment.
The uncomfortable truth is that building something meaningful, whether it's a business, a dream, or even personal growth, requires relentless effort in seasons of obscurity, struggle, and silence. And in those moments, you start to notice a painful pattern.
When things aren’t going as expected, people step back. They grow quiet. They don't call to check in or ask how you're holding up. They assume you’re not making it, or they simply don’t care to know. But as soon as they see signs of progress, something changes. They start reaching out. They want to be involved. Suddenly, you’re on their radar. Your phone begins to ring, and people you haven’t heard from in months begin to resurface as if they were part of the journey all along.
This isn’t rare. It happens across every field of life. When you are struggling and stuck in the trenches trying to figure it out, most people disappear. But the moment you begin to rise and your name starts to be mentioned, or when your business or project starts to thrive, they come around. They wanted to be close to success, but they didn’t want to be part of the process that built it. They’ll pose as supporters, but the reality is, they were never really invested in you. They were waiting to see if you’d make it before attaching themselves to the outcome.
We live in a world where people crave the fruit but won’t water the soil. And this is the part of entrepreneurship that messes with your head: not the rejection, but how conditional the world’s attention is. People don’t want to be part of the messy middle, only the polished finish. They don't mind being seen beside you when the lights are bright, but they were nowhere to be found when you were in the dark, fighting battles they knew nothing about. And what hurts the most is that, deep down, you probably wanted them there. Not to build your dream for you, but to witness the struggle, to share in the weight, to believe in it before it was obvious. You wanted them to care when the world wasn’t watching.
But maybe this is how life teaches us. Not just to see who claps for us when we win, but who walks with us when we’re doubting everything. Who helps carry the bricks, who checks in when there's nothing glamorous to gain. And that’s how you learn the difference between partners and users. Between those who love the vision and those who only love the victory.
Success isn't just about reaching the top. It's about remembering who showed up when it was all falling apart. It's about honouring the ones who stayed when there was nothing to gain. Because anyone can join you in the sunshine. But the ones who stood by you in the storm? Those are the ones who mattered all along!
