14/05/2026
Abena eee. You know me personally but I'm about to open up. This is about the latest question on your page.
I got married very young and had my first daughter through CS. The second one too was CS. By the third girl, the doctors sat both of us down and warned me seriously against having more children because my body was not taking it well. My husband nodded in the hospital room like he understood. Outside the hospital, reality was different.
My husband desperately wanted a son and from the beginning, it was as if he was okay with our girls and then the small comments started.
"Do you think they'll keep my name after marriage?"
"Three girls? Ei."
"You women who only know how to produce girls."
What pained me the most was when his family and friends laughed, he joined them. Then he'll ask me why I'm being too serious.
Then one day I found out he was cheating with a lady from his workplace. Everybody seemed to know except me. The day I confronted him, my little girl was ill and on admission at the hospital for 3 days but he never stepped foot there and refused to send money until I told him I'll have her discharged and bring her to his office.
Guess who sent the money? It was the lady. I asked her questions, why will she send me money and she said I should ask him. My husband denied any wrongdoing until the lady got pregnant and her family got involved. That was when the whole truth finally came out openly.
Aunty Abena, I nearly lost my mind. I called this lady to ask why she'd been lying to me and she insulted me over the phone.
So I went to the office to confront her and my husband publicly. The whole thing became messy and eventually she lost her job. My husband never forgave me for that.
He started punishing me financially. He would deliberately refuse to give housekeeping money. Sometimes there would be no food in the house and my daughters and I would eat gari while he went out pretending to be angry.
But weekends were always funny.
He would spend money outside during the week and come home broke. I hid any food and sent the kids to my big sister to go and eat there.
Eventually he became tired.
One night he cried and begged me. He said he was sorry. He swore he only stepped out because he wanted a son and not because he didn't love me. He promised to stop the relationship with the woman. I did not fully believe him but I was exhausted from fighting. I forgave him for the sake of my girls and my own peace.
Life has a strange sense of humor because shortly after that, my husband lost his job.
At that point I had started a small side business selling provisions and frozen foods. It wasn't big money but I managed my daughters and the home carefully. I knew any excess I gave him would go elsewhere so I was careful with what I gave him.
The side chick thought my husband was spending everything on us and neglecting her and the boy. She used to insult him constantly for that.
Even when he got a job, the pressure became too much.
One afternoon she arrived at our house angry, carrying the little boy and his clothes. The child was then almost three years old. She dumped him there and left after insulting all of us.
Aunty Abena, I wish I could say I accepted him immediately with love but that would be a lie. Every time I looked at him, I saw my husband's betrayal and all the humiliation I went there.
But I couldn't hold it against his son because he was innocent and I consoled myself with one painful thought:
"If I cannot give birth to a son, maybe this is the son God decided I should raise."
Years passed and life became stable again. My husband took care of all of us properly. Though honestly, he never fully changed. There were always rumors of women here and there. I just reached a point where I stopped chasing every skirt around him before I developed BP.
His son grew into such a brilliant and respectful child.
Then destiny decided to laugh at my husband.
The boy fell seriously ill sometime last year and doctors needed family medical history and compatibility checks. One test led to another until they told him he's likely not to be his father. They did the test.
Aunty Abena...
That boy was not my husband's child.
The day the results came, my husband went completely silent. I have never seen him break like that before. This was the son he destroyed our home over. The son he punished me over. The son he betrayed his daughters over. The son he almost worshipped because he thought finally, "my boy has come."
Only to find out the woman had been cheating too.
Three days later he suffered a stroke.
As I type this, the same daughters he neglected are helping me take care of him. The same boy he nearly ruined our marriage for is the one sitting by his bedside reading Bible verses to him.
Life can humble a person brutal!
And what's worse is we don't know where the boy's mother is. We heard years ago that she had traveled but my husband claims nobody knows where she is.
It's been very rough for him.
But I pity him more than anything now.
Sometimes I sit quietly and wonder how many women are silently raising the evidence of betrayal while pretending to be strong.
Keep me anonymous if you want to share it.
