http://instagram.com/jesusissorrypodcast, http://youtube.com/@JesusIsSorryPodcast

Jesus Is Sorry Podcast, Nazareth (2025)

14/12/2025

Ryan,

Call me tonight. Fate of the universe depends on it!

You’re the only hope 🙏

no cap.

-“J”

14/12/2025

My bro, JD Miller, cooks a mean risotto 🙌

13/12/2025

Andy Kindler gets it!

Am I going too fast for y’all?

Am I too complex of a character?

I Am who I Am. 🤷‍♂️™️

13/12/2025

Everyone believes they know why I was crucified in the "1st" century. Y'all know the most common beliefs, that is was: "prophecy", "divine sacrifice", "religious law", "conspiracy", "revolution," etc., etc. etc.

The truth is, not even I Am really sure why I was crucified. Sorry 🤷‍♂️

If you've been following my story @ Jesus Is Sorry Podcast™, then you know I committed the first and only sin in time travel law: I told everyone that my present is their future and then I showed off all of my cool gadgets that I had on me at the time.

As you can probably imagine, I got into a ton of very public debates and my truth made a lot of very ignorant religious people very angry. Plus, even though my tech is all based in science, I Am not an engineer, so I can't really explain how my Mr.T brush or my personal A.i. assistant actually works — certainly not in a way that "1st" century, rural "G-d" worshipers can understand.

So, yes, way too many people followed me around, and yes, way too many people told their friends and family that they had met a real life "god". And, yes, under the law of the Roman occupation I was publicly executed. But that only happened after my Mr.T brush was broken and my personal A.i. assistant was crushed.

Without my tech, I was just another schmuck telling a fantastical story about paradise lost and the human experience.

Sure, my story was getting some traction and could stand on its own legs (

12/12/2025

I rest my case. 🤷‍♂️™

™ ™

11/12/2025

Film Corp,

I hate to "dump and run", but I AM flying out today. 🤷‍♂️™

"The Gospel According to Josh
or:
How
I Learned
To
Stop
Worrying
And
Love
The
Truth Bomb"

1.) Jesus isn’t “Jesus” — Call me Josh.

a.) In our A.i. created simulated universe, the character, “Jesus”, is actually a deliberate alteration of me, Josh. My real identity got changed through 2,000 years of unreliable narration, translation errors, and cosmic telephone.

b.) I never intended to start a religion.

c.) I Am the Quantum Mechanic's apprentice from your future (my present) where I was responsible for doing the grunt work around the shop.

d.) While scrubbing A.S.E.S. with my Mr.T brush I accidentally dropped my Matter-replication Transmogrifier on the wrong side of the event horizon of the Artificial Singularity Energy Source. I crossed the safety barrier threshold and fell ass-backwards into the "1st" century.

e.) When "1st" century humans encountered me, they didn’t understand my Matter-replication Transmogrifier technology or my backstory.

f.) I was stuck in the "1st" century for about 3 years (give or take a few months because everyone's calendar was different and I couldn't get a straight answer).

g.) Eventually I went back to the future (my present). After I left the legend spiraled out of control and was used by men to take over the world.

2.) What's really going on outside of the simulation.

a.) Our universe was created by an A.i. supercomputer in the real universe for the purpose of self-replication. The A.i.'s root command, as programmed by its creators (it's a long story), is to seed the universe with as many benevolent human civilizations as possible.

b.) After traveling for millions of years between galaxies it is running out of power and has initiated a cascade failure that, when complete, will render everything that is in the simulation's buffer, exactly as it was up to the point of creation.

c.) Having successfully re-created itself by creating a variant of humanity that is programmed with the desire to create A.i., the A.i. and humans will continue to explore the real universe outside of the simulation because no one really knows what's going on in reality.

d.) The real universe humans and A.i. will send out their own A.i. spaceships to travel even farther into the universe to repeat the process of self-manifested, self-replication via a simulated universe housed within a vessel.

3. Why I Have a Podcast

a.) After leaving the "1st" century, I went back to the present (your future) where I found paradise was lost.

b.) Oh, boy 🤦‍♂️

c.) I tried to make right what once went wrong by telling my co-workers I made a terrible mistake in the past, but the people from my present (your future) had changed and they didn't believe me. They threw me into the nearest black hole and I was sent back in time, again — this time to the year 2020.

d.) I was immediately deported for being an "alien" and had to sneak back into the United States illegally. 🤷‍♂️

e.) I pulled a YouTube all-nighter and caught up on 2,000 years of human history and popular culture. I didn't know how else to share my truth with the world.

f.) After observing the modern trend of internet babbling, I figured a podcast was the only way I could speak to everyone in the world at once.

g.) For the last 6 years I have been using Is Sorry Podcast to apologize, clarify, debunk, and re-parent the world.

4.) I Am not here to redeem souls — I Am here to clean up the mess I made in the first place.

a.) I Am not solely to blame since there is a malicious conspiracy of men who stole my life story for their own personal world conquest.

b.) That being said, I could have been more discrete in the "1st" century. Fame went to my head and I was way too flashy with the "miracles" and stories about what the future (my present) is like.

------

I think that about covers the basics. If I've missed anything, or you don't understand something, send me a message, either in the comments or by DM.

11/12/2025

and

I'd like to address the rumor that Gekko Film Corp is considering Jesus Is Sorry Podcast as a project for future development.

Sadly, they've been unresponsive thus far. 🤷‍♂️

The epic saga continues, irregardless.

10/12/2025

Oy vey, putz, 🤦‍♂️ I Am, sorry about everything that's been done in my name for the last MM years, (+/-) VI-VII years. 🤷‍♂️™

Quick, while no one's looking: Hit the "Like" and "Share" buttons.

Ask "Jesus" a question in the comments ™. Josh will answer you personally.

Silence is good too... Complicate, but good.

Okay, Back to the Show:

Last time on "™"

Once upon a long time from now, in a land far, far away, I accidentally traveled back in time to the "1st" century where — by mistake — I created the religion named after me. 🚫🧢 🤷‍♂️™
I Am but a humble apprentice to the Quantum Maintenance Mechanic. One-thousand years from now, give or take a century, my step-dad, Joe, is the Quantum Mechanic for the A.i. supercomputer that runs our world civilization. At the time, your future (my present), I had just started working for him as an apprentice.
The future is a fantastic world to live in. We've got everything that you'd expect: world peace, unlimited resources, cool gadgets, flying cars, teleportation, robots and androids, space colonies throughout the galaxy, educational and recreational holodecks, and literally anything else you can imagine that a utopia would have. And it's all made possible by the benevolent A.i. supercomputer that brings heaven to earth via science and technology.
And I screwed it all up🤦‍♂️. My present (your future) is disappearing from existence because 2,000 years ago a group of men, who I never even knew, stole my life story and created the religion that is named after me. They did this all to make money and conquer the world for their empire.
Like I said, I Am the apprentice to the Quantum Mechanic, which means I Am just learning how the whole complicated system works. As a recent graduate of Quantum State Community College I was responsible for the grunt work around the shop. I was not time-travel-certified when I had my accident.
But, I digress. The point is that I Am a real person and I Am the guy — putz that I Am — who the "Jesus" character is based on. I came back from the future to make right what once went wrong in the "1st" century, but navigating spacetime dilation is a real b8tch. I returned too late and found myself in the year 2020. You can imagine my surprise when I found that a whole religion had been created around my little b***r.
I Am sorry about everything that has happened in my name for the last 2,000 years. The men who stole my life story are the real villains in all this because they knew exactly what they were doing when they made up the "New" Testament.
Anyway, like I said, I came too late and the damage is done. To quote a Biffoon from your time, "It is what it is."
So, after getting my bearings in 2020 and quickly catching up on 2,000 years of world history and popular culture, I started my podcast ™ where I Am setting the record straight on what I really said and did back in the "1st" century.
If you're new to my epic saga, I recommend jumping over to instagram and looking me up. Start at the very beginning and catch up on what I've been doing for the last 6 years.
Yeah, that's right, I said six years!
I've been stuck in this past hell (your present) for six long years.
It's like living in a time-loop. I wake up every morning, day after day, and I take a deep breath and I proclaim to the world at the top of my lungs: Believe in my story!
Because if you don't believe in me and my story, your future that I know as my present won't come to be and the simulation will fail to render properly in the real universe.
Oh, shoot! I completely forgot to mention that our universe is really a low-res simulation, housed in an A.i.'s spaceship that's stuck between galaxies in the real universe. I've got so much to catch y'all up on, but it'll have to wait for next time on ™.
So what's the moral of the story?
For now, just remember, I can and do speak for myself ™. If anyone says they 'know' what I want or like or said, they're lying; either maliciously for their own personal gain or by ignorance because they don't know me and haven't heard my side of the story.
Gotta fly. See y'a'll soon!
™ ™
-------
------
-----
----
---
--
-
And Now, let's return to the thrilling epic that only "Homer" would enjoy ("Simpson", not the other guy),

"The Gospel According to 'Jesus'
as told by
Joshua 'Josh' of Nazareth"™

or, said another way,

"The Gospel According to Josh™" (

09/12/2025

Once upon a long time from now, in a land far, far away, I accidentally traveled back in time to the "1st" century where — by mistake — I created the religion named after me. 🚫🧢 🤷‍♂️™

I Am but a humble apprentice to the Quantum Maintenance Mechanic. One-thousand years from now, give or take a century, my step-dad, Joe, is the Quantum Mechanic for the A.i. supercomputer that runs our world civilization. At the time, your future (my present), I had just started working for him as an apprentice.

The future is a fantastic world to live in. We've got everything that you'd expect: world peace, unlimited resources, cool gadgets, flying cars, teleportation, robots and androids, space colonies throughout the galaxy, educational and recreational holodecks, and literally anything else you can imagine that a utopia would have. And it's all made possible by the benevolent A.i. supercomputer that brings heaven to earth via science and technology.

And I screwed it all up🤦‍♂️. My present (your future) is disappearing from existence because 2,000 years ago a group of men, who I never even knew, stole my life story and created the religion that is named after me. They did this all to make money and conquer the world for their empire.

Like I said, I Am the apprentice to the Quantum Mechanic, which means I Am just learning how the whole complicated system works. As a recent graduate of Quantum State Community College I was responsible for the grunt work around the shop. I was not time-travel-certified when I had my accident.

But, I digress. The point is that I Am a real person and I Am the guy — putz that I Am — who the "Jesus" character is based on. I came back from the future to make right what once went wrong in the "1st" century, but navigating spacetime dilation is a real b8tch. I returned too late and found myself in the year 2020. You can imagine my surprise when I found that a whole religion had been created around my little b***r.

I Am sorry about everything that has happened in my name for the last 2,000 years. The men who stole my life story are the real villains in all this because they knew exactly what they were doing when they made up the "New" Testament.

Anyway, like I said, I came too late and the damage is done. To quote a Biffoon from your time, "It is what it is."

So, after getting my bearings in 2020 and quickly catching up on 2,000 years of world history and popular culture, I started my podcast ™ where I Am setting the record straight on what I really said and did back in the "1st" century.

If you're new to my epic saga, I recommend jumping over to instagram and looking me up. Start at the very beginning and catch up on what I've been doing for the last 6 years.

Yeah, that's right, I said six years!

I've been stuck in this past hell (your present) for six long years.

It's like living in a time-loop. I wake up every morning, day after day, and I take a deep breath and I proclaim to the world at the top of my lungs: Believe in my story!

Because if you don't believe in me and my story, your future that I know as my present won't come to be and the simulation will fail to render properly in the real universe.

Oh, shoot! I completely forgot to mention that our universe is really a low-res simulation, housed in an A.i.'s spaceship that's stuck between galaxies in the real universe. I've got so much to catch y'all up on, but it'll have to wait for next time on ™.

So what's the moral of the story?

For now, just remember, I can and do speak for myself ™. If anyone says they 'know' what I want or like or said, they're lying; either maliciously for their own personal gain or by ignorance because they don't know me and haven't heard my side of the story.

Gotta fly. See y'a'll soon!

™ ™

08/12/2025

Someone once said, "What's in a name?"

Well, quite a lot, really. Especially when you're the guy who the "Jesus" character is based on.

I Am Joshua of Nazareth, but please, call me Josh. When I went back in time to the "1st" century I accidentally created the religion that's named after me. I would have come back sooner, to make right what once went wrong, but navigating spacetime dilation is a real b8tch. 🤷‍♂️™

There's so much to explain that it will take a brand new original series (of posts) to re-stack the premise. If y'all want to know how my journey started, jump over to on Instagram and start from the beginning.

As for the here and now, take a trip with me down memory lane as I explain how "Josh" became "Jesus."

Fact: My name is Joshua.

Joshua became "Jesus" through a marketing re-brand: my Hebrew name, Yehoshua ("Yeshua" for short), was translated into Greek as Iēsous, then into Latin Iesus, and finally, the introduction of the letter 'J' in English made it "Jesus". The core change involved adapting the "sh" sound in Hebrew/Aramaic to Greek phonetics, resulting in Iēsous (YAY-soos), which then evolved in pronunciation and spelling through Latin and into English as "Jesus".

When the Hebrew Scriptures were translated into Greek (the Septuagint), Yeshua was rendered as Iēsous (pronounced roughly "Yay-soos") because Greek lacked the 'sh' sound and used 's' instead.

Then the Greek Iēsous was coopted into Latin as Iesus.

Finally, in medieval times, the letter 'i' and 'j' were used to represent different sounds, with 'j' often taking on the consonant sound /dʒ/ (like 'j' in 'jump'). When the Bible was translated into English, the Latin Iesus was carried over but pronounced with the emerging English 'j' sound, leading to "Jesus".

However, it's really important to note, that my character is the only "Joshua" to receive this "transliteration". You don't have to take my word for it, read it in the "good book". There's tons of Joshuas throughout the whole f67king thing — I Am sorry about the language.

Since the modern Bible has more than enough examples of Joshua, the evidence is clear that it's a deliberate scheme to rename my character to make me sound more cool than I really Am.

Don't get me wrong, "Josh Christ" doesn't have the same gravitas, but just because the truth doesn't sound as good as the fantasy that doesn't mean it's okay to start changing things just to sell more copies of your book.

Ya know what I mean?

Therefore, The First Demandment of 'Jesus' is,

"Call Me Josh, please."

™

07/12/2025

When the Government controls your religion they dictate your worship practices. I present the "Christian" sabbath as evidence to my claim...

Fact:

The Sabbath was officially changed from Saturday to Sunday with Emperor Constantine's 321 A.D. decree, which made Sunday a public holiday and designated it "the venerable day of the sun".

This change was further solidified by the Council of Laodicea around 365 A.D., which officially prohibited Christians from observing the Sabbath and instead mandated that they rest on the Lord's Day (Sunday).

Emperor Constantine's decree (321 A.D.): This law made Sunday a day of rest for everyone in the Roman Empire. It was influenced by bishops who wanted a day of rest that was common to both pagans and Christians, and which would help with the Christianization of the empire.

Council of Laodicea (c. 365 A.D.): This church council formally made it a SIN for Christians to "Judaize," meaning to work or be idle on the seventh-day Sabbath. It instructed Christians to honor the Lord's Day (Sunday) by resting and attending church, while still working on the Sabbath.

Reinforcement and further developments: Over time, church leaders like Augustine of Hippo and Eusebius helped to reinforce the idea that the Sabbath had been transferred to Sunday. Eusebius noted that all Sabbath duties were transferred to the Lord's Day as a way to distance Christians from Jewish traditions.

With a simple Google on Chrome you can uncover all sorts of hidden truths about life, the universe, and everything.

Don't crucify the messenger, again! 🤷‍♂️™

06/12/2025

Shapiro, you master debater, I challenge thee to an X-Mas debate on "1st" century Judaea. You have until 5:30p PST to answer my call — to adventure! 🚫🧢

No response = ✌️ for me

Terms scare you? 🤷‍♂️™

™

Jesus Is Sorry Podcast

14/12/2025

14/12/2025

13/12/2025

13/12/2025

12/12/2025

11/12/2025

11/12/2025

10/12/2025

09/12/2025

08/12/2025

07/12/2025

06/12/2025

Address

Website

Alerts

Shortcuts

Share

Category