HR Confessions of Office & Personal

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25/06/2025



I (27F) have a long-term boyfriend, who I’m very happy with. A few weeks ago at the gym, a guy (32M) approached me and struck up a conversation. The first thing I said when he approached was that I had a boyfriend. He immediately said it wasn't like that and he wanted more gym friends. We spoke casually for a while and he asked to add me on instagram so he could add me to this group chat with all these gym people, which I said yes to and he did add me to this group chat. Before judging me - ladies, (and men in many cases), you know how hard it can be to say no when someone is being nice to you.

Since then, he’s DMed me a few times. Nothing overtly flirty, but it’s starting to feel like he wants a closer emotional connection than just gym buddies. For example, at the gym he asked about my band T-shirt, and I told him it's my favorite band. He listened to literally an entire album of theirs and followed up on Instagram which felt unusually personal. He also has been sharing music, band videos, etc. It's feeling a bit more personal and intentional than I'm comfortable with.

I don’t think he’s a bad guy but I wonder if he's trying to cross a line. I just get the sense that it’s veering into emotional intimacy, and I want to shut it down respectfully without being rude. I don't want any weirdness at the gym, but I also don’t want to lead him on or feed a vibe that isn’t platonic. I need help for this reason - how do I shut this down without being cold/rude/making it awkward to be at the gym? I also don't want to straight up accuse him of being into me.

25/06/2025


My gf(19) has a male friend(19) and I don’t know how to deal with my feelings

My gf constantly communicates with her friend, and they’re often online together late at night, even though she had already said goodbye to me and told me she was going to sleep. She also hid the fact that she had been hanging out with him one-on-one. When I asked why she tried to hide it, she said it was because of my jealousy. Her friend clearly has feelings for her. Once, I convinced her to introduce me to him — and even though I tried to maintain a conversation, he was completely indifferent to me, kept looking at his phone the whole time, and wouldn’t make eye contact. They didn’t really talk to each other either.

I feel betrayed and deceived. When I talk to her about how I feel, she says their friendship means nothing. How should I understand this? She continues communicating with him, even though she knows it hurts me deeply. They also study at the same university, in the same program, while she and I are in different ones. Sometimes, they go together to parties with alcohol. I’m not invited to those parties.

Are my feelings justified? What can be done in a situation like this?

P.S. At some point, I read her private messages and found out that she had gone out with him several other times, and that he had walked her home on more than one occasion. In one of the messages, she was talking to her friend. The friend asked if the guy had kissed her — as if it was an expected situation — and instead of firmly denying it, she just replied that he only hugged her. And it seemed like she was disappointed that he didn’t make a bigger move.

When I asked her about it, she started accusing me of reading her messages without permission. I understand that it’s her personal space, but she had repeatedly given me reasons to feel jealous about that friend before.

Am I a bad person for reading her messages? Also, when I asked her about that conversation with her friend, she said it was just a joke and she was faking her emotions with her friend(she meant girl she was discussing her male friend, they all are classmates at university), but not with me. I told her that I want to break up because of all of this — I just can’t handle it emotionally anymore. She then started crying and threatened to commit su***de.

25/06/2025


I (F18) am anxiously attached to my boyfriend (M18)

how do i detach from my boyfriend?

so i [18F] and my boyfriend [18M] have been together for 8 months. in the past 3-4 months we have seen eachother pretty much everyday. we’ve stopped going on dates and have just been going around to eachothers houses. its gotten to the point where weve just been constantly arguing and weve lost ourselves because we dont have a life outside of eachother. we talked and while we both agreed that we needed to set some boundaries and not see eachother as often so we can do our own things, i cant help but feel like hes rejecting me, even though i know its whats best for our relationship. anytime he wants to go out with his friends [18M] , i feel extremely anxious. my heart starts racing, i struggle to breath, my head hurts and my leg does this weird angry twitch. i lash out at him for wanting to be with his friends and it kills me so much when he does. its not that i dont trust his friends, ive gone out with them and i would consider them friends of mine to an extent, so i dont know why im feeling the way i am. hes going on a holiday with them for a week in august and the thought of of it is making me want to cry. i feel so triggered anytime he just wants to go out with his friends and his friends are good people, i like them, yet i cant help but feel this crippling anxiety. i know that ive become co-dependent and attached to him in an unhealthy way and it hurts me in a way that he doesnt have this level of attachment to me. ive talked to him about how i feel and he constantly tries to reassure me but unless he cancels his plans nothing helps at all. ive tried distracting myself, meditating, journalling, tracing it back to my childhood to understand why im like this, and nothing is helping, and the feeling has just been getting worse and worse since the start of our relationship. any advice or even someone who relates would be amazing please help

I(19F) feeling guilty after dumping my bf(19M)We have been dating for nearly 2 years and I sort of, lost feelings for h...
22/06/2025



I(19F) feeling guilty after dumping my bf(19M)

We have been dating for nearly 2 years and I sort of, lost feelings for him . We met while we were in school and I have just changed since then I want to focus on my career and my goals. He doesn't let me. He's one of those anxious overthinking partners and texts me all the time , cries over small things and always suspects that I'm cheating on him somehow. I have tried to break up with him several times in the past but he start saying he has no one other than me and he will kill himself so i end up staying. Now this has seriously impacted my studies and mental health. It has gotten toxic.

Last night after he started an unnecessary argument that why I didn't text him as soon as I woke up ( I thought I'll do my work first and then text him) , I ended it. I blocked him from everywhere. He's still trying to reach out to me, sending me mails, linkedin what not . He says he will kill himself. I'm scared he wouldn't actually do it would he? I really don't want to go back to him.

TL;DR - dumped my emotionally draining bf, he says he will kill himself, feeling scared and guilty

22/06/2025



I drunkenly told my mother why i'll never leave my brother alone with my future children

I 24f told my mother recently why I will never allow my future children to be alone in the same room with my brother(24m), while drunk in a bathroom stall.

My parents paid a surprise visit to my house and invited me and my wife for a drink. There were people at the pub so the night got lively and well, it wasn't one drink. At some point we were talking about grandchildren, my parents are very excited for my wife and I to have children. It somehow landed on me saying I will never leave them unattended with my brother.

She was confused and I explained. What I explained is something I have been sitting on for years. It's about when we were young we were watching the titanic, he's sitting behind me, I turn around and there he is, ma********ng. Or that other time when I caught him hu***ng the couch. Or how he used to sneak up the stairs to barge into my room to catch me changing or, well, god knows what. He did the same thing to my wife when she was living there with us. There was another time my wife and I went to the bathroom at night when my parents werent home,, my brother came downstairs to also go to the bathroom. I told him to go into the living room aswe were indecent (tshirt and underwear) and he did. But he never closed the door, I could see him p*eking out from the crack of the door.

One time we were 16 on family holiday, we were sharing a room. Two single beds opposite sides of the room, pitch black. I hear this weird squelching sound and his arm moving up and down as silhouette. I get up to p*e and he rolls over SO FAST. Another time I knocked on his bedroom door and he opened it with his b***r sticking out of his pants. Belt and pants undone, boxers up but pitching a tent. I looked through his laptop once because he left it unlocked and he and his girlfriend were being as****es. The s**t I've seen. Literally. A lot of s**t and burner accounts.

I can't look at him the same, my parents for years have been trying to get me to reconcile with him but I never wanted to and now I finally told her why. She's not being mean or awful. She hasn't really said anything at all.. I'll ask her if she remembers next time I see her.

22/06/2025



My FWB is getting married but crossed a line

So, I’m 23M and had a long-running FWB situation with a girl I met a couple of years ago on a dating app F26. It wasn’t just s*x we had a lot of fun together. We traveled around India, discovered kinks, had s*x in crazy places like the forest during treks, and honestly, the chemistry was intense. But from the very beginning, we had one clear rule: once one of us finds a partner, the FWB ends. No drama, no complications. We both agreed.

Fast forward, she found someone. A genuinely good guy, and now they’re getting married. So we stopped hooking up. No resentment, just moving on, like we agreed. It’s been a few months now.

But here’s the problem: a few days ago, we went to watch Mission: Impossible. Just casually we’ve stayed in touch. When her man went to the restroom, she reached over and put her hand on my pants, right on my dick, and whispered that she missed the old days, the spark, the wildness. I reminded her of our agreement, told her it’s over

She started saying her man isn’t as adventurous, that she misses the excitement we had the spontaneous s*x, the treks, the chemistry. Again, I said no. I’m not doing this. She got upset, almost offended that I wasn’t down. I left it at that.

But now, just a few hours ago, she called me again and started talking the same stuff. I told her if she doesn’t stop, I’ll have to block her. I don’t want to, I feel bad for her, I really do. But I can’t betray another man like that, especially when he’s done nothing wrong.

Not looking for a morality lecture here. Yes, we had insane s*x. Yes, we lived that phase hard. But we also made a deal, and I stand by it. I don’t know what she’s going through, but I don’t want to be that guy who disrespects someone else’s relationship.

What to do?

22/06/2025



Do all men go like this? M 28 F 29

Hi!! 29 year old f here. I feel like my partner doesn’t have my back and doesn’t actually want to be in this relationship… do men know from the get go know they want to marry someone?
My man’s not passionate at all- I say something romantic to him and he just repeats it back to me. I write him love letters, he’s never written me one - says “it’s too much”

Whenever I’m upset he doesn’t really ask me if I’m okay, just leaves me alone and sits in the lounge room and watches tv, never checks in.
He doesn’t initiate s*x, I do? We’ve been together for almost 6 years and idk, I’m starting to feel like this isn’t normal. I feel like I’m Begging him to love me, to be passionate to be emotionally present in our relationship. He doesn’t do that, he doesn’t get it?

I asked him the other day why he loves me and he literally repeated what I said to him when he asked me. it’s almost like he’s in a relationship with me because nothing better is going to come along and he’s settled for it.
Idk what to do, I have a daughter as well and he’s an amazing step dad! Does everything and anything for her.

19/06/2025



I don’t know what’s normal or not in a relationship anymore & feel like I’m going crazy

My boyfriend (20M) and I (22F) have been together for a year and a half and live together. We’ve split up before due to him s*xting other girls, as well as entertaining the idea of meeting up with other girls. We decided to get back together after finding out I was pregnant (ended up miscarrying.) He had been doing so much better and had been putting in real effort, things were going good. I just started a new job where I’m working nights and he’s working days, and I can’t lie, I was a little worried that he would do something dumb because of the difference in work hours and so much time apart, but I was honestly hoping the space would be good for us and just make our time together that much better. Well I had my first night shift tonight and when I got home something was just telling me to go through his phone. I know a lot of people have really strong feelings against doing that but he goes through my phone sometimes so I feel like that gives me free rein. So just save those comments, lmao. Anyways, he was snap chatting girls but I can’t see the snaps, so I don’t know what they were. He went through the effort of hiding them and deleting the girls off though. I don’t know if this is just something in dating you have to accept in 2025, or if I have a right to be upset. He literally got mad at me for adding a guy on Facebook, when I know the guy from high school and he’s literally in a relationship with another man lol. But he’s snap chatting girls and hiding it? I don’t know, it just hurts. I have no temptation to talk to other guys or seek out new options, it sucks that he does.

18/06/2025



My boyfriend (M/27) does not want us to go to my best friend’s (F/26) wedding. He’s making me choose.

F/26 here.

It’s about my boyfriend M/27. Also, we’ve been dating for 2 years now.

My best friend’s wedding is going to be on the same day as my boyfriend’s birthday. My best friend was really excited when she sent me the invitation—she genuinely wants both of us to come. Yes, both of us. She’s inviting my boyfriend too since they were workmates for a few months.

The thing is, it’s also his birthday that day. Of course, I want him to be my date to the wedding—especially since it’ll be our first time attending a wedding together. I was really excited when I told him over the phone that he was invited, but I didn’t expect his reaction. He ended up sulking all day because it’s his birthday and it felt like he was making me choose between them. I assured him that we could celebrate his birthday in the morning—I even have a surprise planned. The wedding is in the late afternoon, so I thought we could do both. I never said I wasn’t going to celebrate his birthday. It’s just that I can’t control the fact that my best friend’s wedding and his birthday fall on the same day.

They both mean so much to me. But when I tried to explain that my best friend’s wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event—he got even more upset. I also reassured him that this doesn’t make his birthday any less special, but he’s still sulking about it. I don’t know what to do anymore.

Is this still healthy?

18/06/2025



My girlfriend (27F) is giving me (33M) the silent treatment

My girlfriend often gives me the silent treatment when I make personal decisions without discussing them with her first.

For example, I recently ordered a new phone that hasn't been shipped yet and told her about it afterward, she immediately went quiet and hasn't spoken to me since. A similar thing happened when I registered for an online course that hadn't even started yet.

These decisions didn't affect her directly or involve joint finances, but her reaction makes me feel like I'm being punished for doing things independently.

Is this normal in a healthy relationship? Am I missing something, or is this a red flag?

?

18/06/2025



My (21f) bf (25m) is going on a week long trip to Italy. How do I not resent him?

So my bf of 2 years along with 7 of his coworkers got invited by his work to go on a one week trip to Italy. Everything is completely paid for. Meals, flights, excursions, they are renting a private yacht, they’re staying on a mansion on the beach. Literally a trip of a lifetime and he didn’t have to pay a dime

When he first told me I was honestly I was anxious because 7 months ago he had previously did something to break my trust and we were trying to build back. Come about a week away from his trip to Italy I found out that he had an option to bring a +1, expenses all completely paid for as well. literally all their other guys who were going invited their gf/wife. I was the only one left out.

That completely changed how I felt. It wasn’t just a work trip anymore. It felt very personal and left me wondering why he didn’t want to invite me while all the other men had no problem bringing girlfriend along?

When I brought it up he said “he didn’t know it would mean that much to me” and he views it as a “networking and making connections trip and doesn’t want to have to worry about keeping me entertained while he is busy networking and building connections”. Or something along those lines.

He told me I would basically just be sitting in our room the whole time which at least id be sitting in our room in a huge mansion on the beach and private yacht getting fed pasta every night. Instead I’m just sitting at the house.

I feel so hurt and excluded and now he is living his life across the world with him and a bunch of other happy couples while I’m at home trying not to spiral.

I honestly feel a lot of resentment building. He knew I was anxious of him going because of him previously breaking my trust and he knew he had the option to invite me but didn’t. He said he “never considered how id feel and was thinking of it from a different perspective.” Outside of him breaking my trust we have an incredible relationship. We never fight, he pays for my all school/bills, anything I want. Most importantly he is my best friend. And I don’t want to destroy what we have.

My question is am I being over emotional or is this a real red flag? How do I process this and not let it turn into long term resentment?

TL;DR: My bf of two years is going on a two week work trip to Italy along with 7 of his coworkers. All of who brought their gf/wife. I was the only one left out. Now I feel hurt, excluded, and unsure how not to resent him

17/06/2025



M32, Unmarried.
Life has been very hard for me lately.

I have been struggling on every front, I feel.
Gaining weight, losing hair (lost almost much of them), struggling with career (transitioned to a new role completely and lost all my relevant experience. Juniors are promoted and the vibe is not the same as they are now becoming bossy and that's going against my self respect. I seeked help from them always and there was no ego issues), home loan that my father took but couldn't close due to my education loan, get my sister married, upgrade myself technically and choas created by my relatives to get me married.

Also even if I try to do something that I like, like playing video games I would go on a guilt trip that instead of studying, I am wasting my time in games. Plus my father is least bothered about anything. He has never been.
He has always been a toxic father. We had to request him to find a job. Even though he wouldn't. Even if he got one that paid 7-8k, he would leave it at the slightest inconvenience. I had to do home tuitions to support myself and pay me mess fees. I don't think he even sent me more than 1000 rs during my entire college life.

I was unlucky in love as well. Was in love with a girl head to toe and she loved me back. But as we grew out of that teenage, reality hit her.
She realised that our families are financially very different and that I would have to earn a lot and change my family status.
We couldn't meet regularly due to long distance relationship and she fell for someone else who was with her. 8 years of relationship went down in drain.

My mother has always struggled due to my toxic father. Even now she would sit where he tells her to sit. When I oppose it, she'll say she has to live with him all her life so she has accepted it.

Sometimes even my mother would get on my nerves. She would always suspect one thing or another. She would want to know with whom I am going and want their numbers. Everytime I got with my female friend, I would have to cook a story and this is tiring. Sometimes I would have a huge argument due to this and she would say she's concerned and that she's never understood correctly. She has started to show symptoms of arthritis and move with difficulty.

I am managing things fine but sometimes it feels so overwhelming. I also feel that one of the reasons my ex left me was because of my mother. Many friends too have made fun of me because of this nature of my mother. I don't know what will happen after marriage. I want to stay with my parents and take care of them but I am not sure if they will change.

All these thoughts keep me awake at night. I would spend hours searching for a workout to lose weight but don't feel that energy. I would search causes of thinning of my hair or the best learning path to progress in my career.
I feel tired.

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