22/08/2026
There's a moment right before you offer someone a solution when you can feel your own discomfort more clearly than theirs.
Watching someone sit in a problem is uncomfortable in a way that's easy to mistake for empathy.
So the fix arrives quickly, not because you've fully understood what they're carrying, but because their unresolved pain was starting to sit heavy in you too.
The advice ends the discomfort on your end long before it does anything for theirs.
That's why it can land as dismissal even when it's accurate — it wasn't built to hold their weight, it was built to lower yours.
Real listening asks you to stay inside someone else's difficulty without reaching for the exit.
What are we actually trying to relieve when we rush in with an answer — their pain, or our own restlessness watching it?