29/04/2024
A curtain cutter and April candles
Born on 15th April in Wellington, Tamil Nadu into a Manipuri family which travelled every two to three years packing everything they owned and setting it down in a new place with as much enthusiasm, I grew up with two other siblings and parents who were big time movie buffs, travel enthusiasts, nature loving, foodie, sports person, fit and strong, socially active and gifted hosts, patriotic and a highly spirited couple.
What characterised my childhood were two things; one was the freedom and dignity that I received in my parent's home while I was growing up and second was the time and effort my mum and dad put in to share and explain what was happening around them, us and in the world. I do not recall one single incident where my mother yelled at me or my parents were the cause of my going to bed, sad. Liberty was a gift which was given to me very early on in life.
I share a very sweet incident from when I was a little over three years. My parents would bring toys for us, say a teddy bear but it would be handed over to the eldest child (such was the ethical protocol my parents practiced), my sister and she would be told to share with my elder brother and me. The toy belonged to the three of us technically but children being children all wanted to play at the same time. End result- Mahabharat!
Mama had a way of managing us and she worked on me in order to diffuse the situation over toys and sat me down to explain how toys were not the only things we could play with. We could play with yarn and knitting needles (a knitter was born quite unintentionally), utensils, clothes, even flowers, plants, soil and twigs in the garden! The thrust line was we just had to use our imagination.
Mama being an exceptional seamstress that she was she had made a corner of our home her workshop where we had access to scissors, needles, thread, yarn, buttons, fabric and every other imaginable tool. I am sure mama would have never imagined that this teaching of hers would result in having all of the living room curtains neatly cut about 3 feet from below with scissors. Everyone at home was shocked since they had been our best curtains but mama simply said,
“Nanu (my nickname) has found other things to play with. Now the kids won't fight over toys".
For my parents the material loss was not more important than the process of learning it offered to their children. I learnt early on how love, relationships, family, peace and feelings are much more important than material possessions and keeping a museum-like house. The three of us found our own interests and hobbies which were made possible with the freedom we were given.
No matter how many years keep adding, with each passing year on my birthday as I blow the candles and cut a cake, I know deep inside I will always hold on to the best that was given to me.
They say age is just a number so are birthdays irrelevant? On the contrary, birthdays are a time to be grateful for our life, that we are alive, intact, for our family, friends and loved ones, for being able to work and make a difference be it big or small, and for all the little and big ways we received so much more than we expected or deserved.
Ps: My living room in Bengaluru and my love for curtains still thrives :)
By
Urmila Chanam
