23/02/2026
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Before Ash Wednesday, I wasnβt truly prepared for Lentβwhat I would be giving up, what I would be taking in, and honestlyβ¦ how to do Lent in general.
Usually, my husband and I would sit down and talk these things through so weβd be on the same page. I already had some things in mind, but I wasnβt able to communicate them clearly to Leo.
On the morning of Ash Wednesday, I saw him scrolling through reels, and I immediately "reacted". π€ I told him we definitely needed to sit down later for our Lenten planning.
After Mass, when we got home, I was ready and excited for our sit-down. But I felt like he didnβt share the same energy. On top of that, he still needed to finish some workβwhich meant more time taken from what I had already pictured in my head.π
With my hormonesβwell, actually, my selfishness if Iβm being honestβwhat followed wasnβt planning, but a unilateral cold war. I wanted our Lent to be perfect, yet here we were on Day 1β¦ already failing. We eventually made peace before going to sleep and agreed to do the planning the next day. ππΌ
Then I remembered Fr. Paulrajβs Ash Wednesday homily about Jesus speaking to St. Francis of Assisi, asking him to rebuild His Church.
This photo was taken at the very place where that happenedβthe San Damiano Church, which Leo and I were blessed to visit last year.
Fr. Paulraj also reminded us that we are the Church that needs rebuilding. He asked: which areas of our βchurchβ are dilapidated? I felt deeply convicted and humbled. I realized how many parts of me need restoring.
I wanted a perfect Lent, but God allowed an imperfect first day to remind me that this season is about His plan, not mine. That as much as I desire to give Him my best efforts, they can still be shallow attempts. What He truly wants isnβt my perfectly curated sacrifices.
He just wants my heart.
He just wants me.
May this Lenten season continually rebuild and restore the dilapidated areas of my churchβ in my relationship with myself, my husband, my family, and others.
This is how I can truly have a βperfectβ Lent: by letting the hands of my perfect Father in heaven do the work in me. π€βοΈ
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