22/07/2025
For her 70th birthday, Njeri Kamunu decided to spoil herself. Not with cake. Not with grandchildren. But with one night in a fancy hotel in Sagana, Murang’a. You know, treat herself like a county governor.
Next morning, she checks out, all smiles until the receptionist hands her a bill of Ksh 35,000.
She nearly resurrected Dedan Kimathi.
“Haiya! 35,000 for one night? I didn’t even take breakfast. I just slept, dreamt of Mzee Moi and left!”
The manager calmly says,
“Madam, the Ksh 35,000 includes access to the Olympic-sized swimming pool, a full conference center, and world-class entertainment.”
Njeri replies,
“But I didn’t use any of that!”
Manager:
“Yes, but you could have.”
They go back and forth, spa? You could have. Sauna? You could have. Pole dancing show? You could have.
Tired of the circus, Njeri pulls out her chequebook, writes Ksh 5,000, and hands it over.
Manager flips the cheque. Confused.
“But madam… this is only five thousand?”
Njeri looks him dead in the eye and says,
“I’ve charged you Ksh 30,000 for sleeping with me.”
He shouts, “WHAT? I didn’t!”
She picks her purse, smiles and says,
“Yes… but you could have.” 😭🤣😭