30/07/2025
Why Do Most Bright Students End Up Struggling After School🤔? (long post)
At home, they're praised, and at some point, parents feel they need to enroll them in a much better school lest their IQ gets diluted.
At school, they're awarded for their grades. Inadvertently, perfectionism creeps in. Without them even realizing, they start viewing themselves as superior to their peers since their future is guaranteed given their grades.After so many years in school, they feel that the world owes them. They've always had people around who would always heap praises on them. Now it's them versus the brutal world.
School Rewards Obedience and Structure — Life Doesn’t!
There’s no syllabus for life. You have to deal with uncertainty, competition, failure, and people who don't care how smart you are.
They’ve Been Told Intelligence Is Enough
Many bright students grow up being praised for being "smart" rather than for being resilient, creative, or emotionally intelligent. When things get hard — and they will — they may lack the coping tools to push through because they were never trained to rely on anything but their brains.
Over-Identification with Achievement
Some students tie their self-worth to being "top of the class." But in the real world, there’s always someone smarter, richer, or more connected. This can lead to imposter syndrome, burnout, or even paralysis because their identity is tied to always winning.
Poor Social and Emotional Development
Academic focus often comes at the expense of social growth. Some bright students struggle with collaboration, emotional intelligence, or interpersonal communication — all critical in life.
Delayed Failure
School often shields bright students from real failure — until they hit the job market or try entrepreneurship, where rejection and trial-and-error are normal. Without experience handling setbacks, even small failures can feel like major defeats.
Mental Health Struggles
High expectations, pressure to succeed and Seeing Other People Who Were Below Average Doing Way Better than them leads to
Questions like, "Why do the ways of fools prosper?" start popping into their heads because all their lives they've had this clear vision of how their future would look. Reality checks in, and their current lives don't look anything close to what they were destined for.
Here's What You're Supposed to Do as a Parent
1.Praise Effort, Not Just Intelligence
Instead of saying, “You’re so smart,” say: “I love how hard you worked on that.”
“You kept trying even when it got hard.”
This builds a growth mindset — the belief that ability comes through effort, not just talent. It makes kids more resilient when they face challenges later.
2. Let Them Struggle (A Little)
Don't rush to solve every problem. Let them: Deal with frustration.
Figure things out on their own.
Experience small failures and bounce back.
This builds grit, problem-solving, and emotional maturity.
3. Teach Emotional Intelligence
Teach them: How to handle anger, disappointment, or anxiety.
How to communicate and empathize.
That asking for help isn’t weakness.
Bright minds without emotional strength often crack under pressure.
4. Introduce Financial Literacy Early
Teach them how money works: Saving, budgeting, and spending wisely.
The difference between wants and needs.
Earning money through effort or projects.
Even the brightest adults struggle if they’re financially clueless.
5. Focus on Purpose, Not Just Performance
Ask: “What excites you?” “What problem do you want to solve?”
Encourage exploration beyond academics — music, farming, coding, animals, carpentry — anything that gives them a sense of direction.
Purpose keeps them grounded when life gets chaotic. 6. Expose Them to the Real World
Take them along to: Businesses.
Farms.
Community projects.
Job sites.
Let them see what adults actually do for work. Let them talk to entrepreneurs, artists, mechanics, not just doctors and engineers.
7. Encourage Practical Skills
Let them: Cook, clean, fix things.
Start a small hustle or garden.
Learn basic trade skills.
Practical intelligence builds confidence and self-reliance.
8. Guide, Don’t Control
Support their passions — even if they don't match your expectations. Help them set goals, but don’t map out their entire life for them. They need room to own their journey. 9. Model Resilience and Balance
Let them see you: Handle stress calmly.
Apologize when wrong.
Keep learning and growing yourself.
Kids absorb who you are more than what you say.
