MR VIBES, Kiminini (2025)

06/05/2025

Things Africans are known with *😂😂😂
1. Urinating behind the latrine🚽💦
2. Wife sleeping next to the wall🛌😴
3. Keeping br00ms behind the d00r😂
4. When you get rich, pe0ple say you have a 🐍😁
5. When you get old, you're a witch😒💔
6. When you take a bath , they will ask if you are going somewhere.🤨
7. Keeping some plates, cups and sp00ns aside specifically for visitors.😏🤔
8. C0unting pieces of meat.🍖🍛
9. No natural d£ath in Africa.... your enemy is always the cause.🥺😭
10. Counting m0ney after withdrawing from ATM.😅😜
11. Marrying a beautiful woman is associated with marrying a prostitute.😟🥵
12. There are some special parts of the chicken meat that are always reserved for the husband (eg. Gizzard)🥶🤬
13. Removing sh0es when walking in the mud.🤥😇
14. Buying new clothes when it is Christmas.🤧🥳
15. When one is given a microphone, they first blow air into it or tap it with a finger, to test it if it is working, (even when the person passing it on was using the same mic.)🥱🎤
16. Swééping the whole compound when expecting visitors.😂
17. Looking left and right when crossing a one way street.😁
18: Keeping an empty plastic water bottle after drinking, for future use.🤥
19: Reserving a special chair for the Husband 😒💔
20: Feeling proud when sitting next to a white person in a bus.🤓😍
*I am a proud African*
😄😄

04/05/2025

Beb acha pombe 🍷ama tuachane💔🙌jibu k**a mlevii...🤣🤌

03/05/2025

😛😛Ushawahi ingia choo za kanjo kweli🤗. Yani unajipta unacheka badala ya kushughulikia haja😃. Ukiface ukuta unasoma maandishi ya kiajabu k**a😎:
1. Umerudi tena?😇 Wah, si unapenda kukunia😅😅.
2.Unafunga mlango nan amekuambia anataka kuiba mavi yako☺.
3. Wewe endelea tu kukunia tu watu wengine wakitafuta pesa uko nje🤔🤔.
4. Unakunjia nani sura? Nani alikuambia kula githeri inakaa kokoto lunch🙂.
5. Aiii! 🤕Ata wew umezidi, kwani huchokangi kukunia.
6. Ungetia bidii hivyo ukiwa shuleni si ungekuwa mbali aki😑.
7. Na si unajua kupima 90° ndani😕, ungefanya hivyo hesabu kwa shule ungekuwa unatembea na gari sai.
8. Kwani unaenda na mboga kwa choo ama hiyo majani ni ya nini chooni?😄🤣🤣

25/04/2025

MSICHANA WA NEIGHBOUR.
Neighbour ameniita niongeleshe msichana wake coz anapeana k**a kofia za campaign, Mimi nimeingia nkiwa nimedunga official Bible mkononi,. Msichana time aliitwa sitting room kuingia alikuwa ameiva kuiva 🧛‍♀️. Ufisi ukaniingia mara hio hio nkapata nimemwambia Naitwa Sam Okaz the baddest na unaweza ni save na number yako, mathe akaniuliza number ni ya nini nikamwabia nitakuwa namtumia Bible verses na more guidance 😎😎Msichana teke teke akanipatia number. Nikiwa hapo nimekaa nikamtext (na huyu mama yako anakuwaa na ujinga ndio maana bwana yake hukula bibi ya jirani akiwa hayuko 😋😋😋😋 otherwise si utakam kejani nikague hio mali tukifanya launching ya mattress mpya nilinunua 🎆🎆🎆🎆) kumbe hako ka ng'ombe kalikuwa kamenipea number ya mamake 😮😮😮Nilisikia mama yake ameshout JIMMY NILETEE PANGA KUNA MTU ATAKUFA LEO!!!!!!!!!! Mbio nilitoka kwa hio nyumba 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️ kumbe nakuwaga na damu ya kipchoge. Saa hii nasikia chief ananitafuta lakini place niko hta mimi sijui ni wapi.........

11/04/2025

Kuishi keja😴😴moja na watu wenu ni tricky sana . My first time kukuja Nairobi i remember nilikuwa msoto😢😢and i was living with my brother Brayo kwa single room ya mabati😴😴.Kila siku tulikuwa😤😤tunaenda ku hustle ndio tupate doo za food😢😢.Supper tunapika Sembe kubwa na sukuma wiki🤐🤐. Tunakula Sembe nusu tunabakisha half ndio turaukie asubuhi na Chai😱😱. Si mnaelewa😯!

Sasa shida iko hapa. I remember one day nikiingia kwa bed lakini usingizi😜😜ikakataa ku come kabisaaa juu nilikuwa naogopa bro wangu Brayo anaeza changamkia hiyo Ugali na asingizie Panya😉😉.
On the other hand🙁kumbe bro wangu👍alikuwa na the same same fears👀infact zake ni double juu anajua😎mimi ni Sembeholic✊✊mbaya sana naeza ichafua hiyo🤔🤔ugali hata na Chumvi ama Avocado akiwa amedoz😃.

One day nilitoka kwa bed🙁🙁kisniper kucheki hiyo mlima ya Ugali k**a iko ama imewekwa level na bro wangu😈😈.
Nikaenda hadi penye Sembe iko😊😊, saa hiyo giza iko kibao but🤗🤗huwezi guza hata Meza juu mind yako iko focused kwa Sembe🙄🙄. Unaruka mtungi ya Gas na ndoo ya vyombo chafu successfully😋😋.

Ile time nilienda kuinua Sufuria yenye🤓🤓 tumefunika nayo ugali nikagusa🤔🤔mkono ya bro wangu mwenye nilidhani amedoz😁😁.
Kumbe jamaa alishatangulia before me. Mshtuko ikanipiga hadi nikasikia ku collapse nikifikiria ni Ghost😬😬.But vile mimi ni mjanja nikamshow😎😎"yaani kumbe ile panya nilikuwa nasikia ni wewe".
Pia yeye kujibu habahatishangi akanijibu😜😜"hata mimi nimeshtuka kujua hiyo panya ni wewe✌".

Hapo ilibidi tugawane kila mtu share yake😋, tukakula ndio at least tulale na Amani😂😂😂 🤦🏿‍♀️🤦🏿‍♀️😂

02/04/2025

Yaani mimi Sasaa.... ning'ang'ane nikukatie😊 uingie box😊nikue nikikubuyia mazawadi(surprises)😊niende ninunue pete na pesa zangu😊nikuje nikupigie magoti😁niende nisumbue wazee wa kwetu waende kwenu😊wanyenyekee ati wanakuomba😁isitoshe...nirudi kwetu nichukue ngomb'e zetu 😑zenye wazazi wangu wanakamua😑 nipeleke kwenu😊alafu tena nichukue pesa zangu😊 tufanye harusi😊...bas ukuje kwetu penye ulishatoa ngombe zikaenda kwenu😊 ugwame uko ...alafu unakuja mikono tupu tu😂😂😂....uite kwenu...nitengeneze boma uite kwako😂 nijenge nyumba uniambie nitoe viatu ndo niingie kwa nyumba yako😊uchukue jina yangu ya mwisho😂ukule chakula yangu😁alafu isitoshe uzae wengine mkule chakula yangu kapsaa😂😂ukataze ndugu zangu wasikuje kwako(juu si kwangu)ushinde unanigombanisha kwa nyumba yangu😂😂alafu unikataze nisioe mwingne😂ubebe watu wa kwenu wakuje wajae kwangu😂wakule chakula yangu 😂😂alafu ni choo yangu pia wanaenda??????😂
eheheheeee😂sijui k**a mnanipata wenzangu😁???
acha nisiendelee😂😂🚶🚶

MEN tukutane men's conference next year tujadili hili swala nyeti😂😂😂 ama niaje wadau?????

27/03/2025

🚨🚨FOOTBALL VS S£X

1. Going to ur boyfriend or Girlfriend's house without being invited = Offside😂💔😂

2. Dating a girl today and having s€x on the same day = Free kick😂💔😂

3. Condom = Defender😂💔😂

4. Abortion = Red card😂💔😂

5. Condom breaks = Penalty😂💔😂

6. A girl with a lot of energy = Captain😂💔😂

7. Having s€x without a condom = Own goal😂💔😂

8. Taking a lot of time without c^ming = Man of the match😂💔😂

9. S€xing three girls in one day = Hat trick😂💔😂

10. Having s£x with ur Ex = Friendly match😂💔😂

11. Eight years of s£x without getting a child = Arsenal😂😂💔😂😂

12. After two rounds and u request for more = Extra time😃😃

13. Taking it gently when having s£x = Fair play😆

14. Biting ur girlfriend's ni***es = Suarez😜😁

15. Two legs on the shoulder as if u are changing pampers = Throwing🤩😅

16. Asking her "how do u want it?" = Taking instructions from the touchline😂💔

17. A lady using pills after s£x and later she still gets pregnant = Defensive error
😃😆😜
18. A girl getting pregnant = Goooooal😜😁🤩

19. Having s£x with ur girlfriend and ur mum opens the door = Injury😂💔😂

20. A guy who impregnated the lady = Active striker😂😃

21. A girl telling u to stop = yellow card😂💔😂

22. You and ur girlfriend break up in ur love relationship = Game over
23. Hello Chelsea fans👏💙💙

26/03/2025

Mnapeleka Syllabus Mbio Sanaa😃

Sasa KuBant Ndio Nini?..🤣

25/03/2025

Good night

23/03/2025

MSICHANA WA NEIGHBOUR.
Neighbour ameniita niongeleshe msichana wake coz anapeana k**a kofia za campaign, Mimi nimeingia nkiwa nimedunga official Bible mkononi,. Msichana time aliitwa sitting room kuingia alikuwa ameiva kuiva 🧛‍♀️. Ufisi ukaniingia mara hio hio nkapata nimemwambia Naitwa Sam Okaz the baddest na unaweza ni save na number yako, mathe akaniuliza number ni ya nini nikamwabia nitakuwa namtumia Bible verses na more guidance 😎😎Msichana teke teke akanipatia number. Nikiwa hapo nimekaa nikamtext (na huyu mama yako anakuwaa na ujinga ndio maana bwana yake hukula bibi ya jirani akiwa hayuko 😋😋😋😋 otherwise si utakam kejani nikague hio mali tukifanya launching ya mattress mpya nilinunua 🎆🎆🎆🎆) kumbe hako ka ng'ombe kalikuwa kamenipea number ya mamake 😮😮😮Nilisikia mama yake ameshout JIMMY NILETEE PANGA KUNA MTU ATAKUFA LEO!!!!!!!!!! Mbio nilitoka kwa hio nyumba 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️ kumbe nakuwaga na damu ya kipchoge. Saa hii nasikia chief ananitafuta lakini place niko hta mimi sijui ni wapi.........
Follo # MR VIBES
VIBES

MR VIBES

06/05/2025

04/05/2025

03/05/2025

25/04/2025

11/04/2025

02/04/2025

27/03/2025

26/03/2025

25/03/2025

23/03/2025

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