07/06/2026
Iām not myself right now.
My heart and soul donāt know what to feel.
One minute Iām smiling and laughing and then next minute I zone out,
overthink and question everything while holding back tears. I want to feel better already, but in reality Iām breaking.
And the hardest part is pretending Iām okay when my whole spirit feels tired. I keep showing up for people, acting normal, laughing at the right moments, saying āIām fine,ā even when I feel anything but fine. Itās like Iām standing in the middle of a storm that no one else can see, trying to hold myself together with hands that wonāt stop shaking. I want someone to notice without me having to ask, to look me in the eyes and see that Iām not as strong as I pretend to be.
Iām tired of being the one who keeps pushing, the one who keeps forgiving, the one who keeps holding everything inside because I donāt want to burden anyone. Iām exhausted from being strong for too long. Some days, I donāt even know who I am anymore. I miss the version of me who didnāt have to overthink every little thing, who didnāt carry this heavy ache in her chest, who didnāt feel like she was fighting a battle with her own mind.
But Iām still here. Even broken, even hurting, even confused. Iām still trying. And maybe that counts for something. Maybe one day, the smiles wonāt feel forced, the laughter wonāt feel borrowed, and my heart will feel light again. But right now⦠Iām just trying to survive my own emotions, hoping that brighter days are still somewhere ahead. Ogeto Comedy ..