Experience life with Purity

15/04/2024

"The Absent Father Effect on Daughters" by Susan E. Schwartz delves into the profound impact that the absence of a father can have on a daughter's development, identity, and emotional well-being. Through a psychological lens, Schwartz explores how this absence—whether physical, emotional, or both—affects daughters and shapes their adult lives.

Here are several key lessons from the book

1. Understanding the Impact of Absence: The book highlights the importance of recognizing the depth and breadth of the impact an absent father can have on a daughter's psyche. This absence can manifest in various aspects of life, including issues with self-esteem, difficulties in forming healthy relationships, and challenges in understanding one's identity.

2. The Role of Recognition and Acknowledgment: A vital step in addressing the effects of an absent father is the acknowledgment of his absence and its impact. Recognizing these effects allows for the beginning of healing and provides a framework for understanding behaviors and emotions that may have been confusing or painful.

3. Navig*ting the Path to Healing: Schwartz offers insights into the healing process, emphasizing that while the journey is personal and can be challenging, it is also filled with opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Healing may involve therapy, creating supportive relationships, and engaging in self-care practices.

4. The Importance of External Support Systems: The book suggests that building a strong support system is crucial for daughters dealing with the absence of a father. This support can come from other family members, friends, mentors, or professional counselors who can provide understanding, validation, and guidance.

5. Exploring One's Identity Beyond Absence: One of the lessons is the encouragement for daughters to explore and define their identity independently of the father's absence. This exploration can lead to a more robust sense of self and a reclamation of power over one's life narrative.

6. Developing Healthy Relationships: Schwartz discusses the impact of an absent father on a daughter's relationships, particularly in choosing partners and establishing boundaries. The book offers strategies for understanding and breaking patterns that may lead to unhealthy relationship choices.

7. The Power of Narrative: There's a focus on the power of personal narrative and storytelling in healing. By reframing their stories, daughters can find meaning in their experiences and move towards a more empowered and self-aware future.

8. The Role of Forgiveness: The concept of forgiveness, both of oneself and the absent father, is explored as a potential component of healing. Forgiveness is presented not as an oblig*tion but as a choice that can lead to emotional freedom.

9. Empowerment through Understanding: Gaining insight into the ways in which an absent father has influenced one's life can be incredibly empowering. It allows for a reclaiming of control over one's emotional well-being and life decisions.

10. The Continuum of Absence: Schwartz acknowledges that absence can vary in degree and type, affecting daughters in uniquely individual ways. Understanding this spectrum is crucial in addressing and healing from its effects personally and sensitively.

"The Absent Father Effect on Daughters" is a comprehensive guide to understanding and healing from the complex dynamics of growing up without a father's presence. It provides valuable insights and practical advice for those looking to navig*te the challenges and find a path toward healing and fulfillment.

For orders and inquiries reach us on 0713054505

09/03/2024

Celebrating my 1st year on Facebook. Thank you for your continuing support. I could never have made it without you. 🙏🤗🎉

09/03/2024

Sometimes all you can do for yourself is go into hiding,resolve all the self doubt,denial,anger and bitterness you have in your heart so that when you resurface once again, you will be stronger and better your thoughts will be well organized inorder to sort out the challenges that you will face.
Just like an eagle goes to a place with extreme temperatures for change and comes back renewed, so will you trust in yourself,love yourself and everything else will fall into place.

20/10/2023

Many are the times people live in the shadow of others without them even realizing it,,,you carry the hate on behalf of the one you love,,,,,you do exactly what they do and how they would do it,
All this while you keep convincing yourself that you are being you
But no darling you are living a lie
That's not you
That's who you purport to be
Get out of the shadow and embrace who you are
It doesn't matter if you'll be loved or hated
The best thing you can do for you is being real to yourself.

10/07/2023

It's been a while since we last talked right?
So Today I wanna talk about heartache
The pain that the heart goes through
Medically or emotionally
But I'll talk about emotional heartache coz I suck in the medical community
You see at one point in your life you get to meet this amazing human who makes you have goosebumps the moment you just hear their voice or immediately they touch you
I'll call that LOVE
Someone who makes you happy and have their priorities set right from the start,,,,, they don't have their priorities mixed up
They very well know what hurts you (and they avoid it)
And what makes you happy,they do it over and over again
That is LOVE
But then something happens along the way
And this makes what seemed to be a beautiful love story become bitter as bile
You get hurt over and over again
I'll describe the pain in common cases you have at least encountered
Scenarios of unbearable pain
1. Hitting your forehead on the edge of a window pane.
2. Putting your phone on charging the entire night only for you to wake up in the morning to find it off since you switched on the wrong switch( yet you had to leave early while using the phone)
3. Buying an avocado at an exorbitant price only to find it either tasteless or rotten.
4. Hitting your elbow on a hard object.
5. A child biting your ni**le while suckling.

Maybe you have realized the kind of pain this causes yaaah???
That's what a heartache feels like
Everything that seemed beautiful turns ugly
Your heart will ache day in day out but you'll never be able to easily get that sad feeling inside( this is so for the one who loved the most)
Right now when I meet people who have already given up on LOVE I can understand them
Why???
1. Because they are afraid of loving again and be dumped again the next minute
2. They are guarding themselves against heartache that's why they feel that there is need to build up walls on themselves and they won't allow anyone to easily bring them down
3. They've been hurt pretty bad therefore they don't see any essence in the so called LOVE.
4. Or at times those who have had a heartache for quite a while will then turn into something unrecognisable,,,,,,,they'll want to inflict the same amount of pain they got for loving too hard,,,,,so when you LOVE such a person, you then become the victim since there only console is hurting any person who hits on them the same way they were hurt

Whichever way,,,,,nurse your pain,hurt,anger, betrayal till you know that you are now ready for a new phase in your life
It won't be easy,,,,,,you'll be waking up everyday remembering what happened to you (hurtful)
But it's always a choice to hold onto the pain or try and live a new life by forgiving yourself first before embracing a new chapter in your life

In whatever circumstance you get this message
I hope you are happily in love and that you are loved in equal measure and there aren't any side shows
And if you are not😭😭
I pray and sincerely hope that you can forgive yourself first and quit the blame game
I hope your journey to healing will locate you and you won't lose your path to the destination (healing)
I sincerely hope that you give yourself a chance to be happy again

Do have a lovely day🥰🥰🥰🥰

Signed
Psangiru

20/06/2023

HANDLE PEOPLE WITH CARE AND COMPASSION

Some of us were lucky enough to get through school without much hurdles but some had to stop midway,,,not because they wanted to but because life pushed them to the very last corner they wished they wouldn't have to reach
Some of us joined campus and life started dealing with us real hard,,,,that would range from the now high school fee and the struggle to put food in your stomach since the cost was just but above our budget,,,,
Some of us were caught in these circumstances and all we could do is pray so hard that we don't get to be peer pressured
The well to do students didn't have a problem adapting to the new environment because after all money speaks ,,,,,but those that were not well to do had to adjust to fit your pocket
Some of us were influenced into joining different groups whereas some chose to live a private and quiet life while shutting everything and everyone out
Some of those who joined campus graduated, some did not and some unfortunately aren't here with us😭

But then life needs to move on right???
Then after graduation many are released back into the world
And not to talk of the country where there aren't job opportunities ready for the graduates unless you are well connected
Some of us are still struggling to get a job and feed ourselves,,,,HELB is up on our neck,,,,the interest rate keeps on skyrocketing,,,,you are receiving pressure from the society that your age ain't waiting for you so you need to settle down
You can't even afford to feed yourself let alone to feed another person with your hand to mouth wages from the juakalis that you have resorted to
Some of us give in into this pressure whereas some don't

What am I trying to communicate to you today
1. The mental health of our people is of utmost priority handle people with care because if not they may just snap out of frustrations.
2. Be kind,,,approach people with care and compassion,,,one good deed today can go a long way to someone who really needs it.
3. Don't ask impolite questions to people you once knew,,,,,you have no idea what their lives is like right now,,,,,don't go about bragging how much you have achieved in let's say X years,,,, someone could be battling a chronic illness,,,they may be praying to get a spouse/marriage,,,,perhaps it may be they want to have a child so bad and they keep on trying but have often failed,,,they may be jobless,homeless and hungry,,,,,,,unless information is offered don't ask,,,,,and don't talk too highly of yourself Infront of your long time mate.

Good luck and blessings and I hope that you get to be kind and compassionate towards others.

14/06/2023

Overpower the weaker you if need be

You see everyone has that one weakness,,,either they have already noticed it or they are yet to
But not to worry
There are these times you feel like you just wanna give up,,,,and mostly,,,,there are usually two voices within you,,,,the one that tells you,,,,yes just give up there is nothing for you here anyway,,,,,and then there is this other voice that will tell you that,,,,,you can't give up,,,there is this hope and success that awaits you at the end of all this struggle
Many times we get tempted with the neg*tive voice and therefore we lose out on the beauty of life
Sometimes the neg*tive voice within us is as a result of trauma from a past or present event that has worn you completely down, the fear of failing and be laughed at, when you feel like you ain't good enough because no one sees the best side of you
But today I want you to listen to that faint but clear voice of hope and joy that something beautiful awaits you just a while longer

1. This can be ,,,you are on the verge of giving up on ever graduating since you are having school fees issues or because you have spent over 7years in campus instead of the 4years for your degree,,,,,hold on
2. This is perhaps you who has been married for over 20years and you have no child despite trusting in God,,,now that you want to leave your partner because of the ridicule from the society,,,,,hold on,,,,or perhaps you have had countless miscarriages,,,hold on,,,,or you have stayed faithful to yourself,,you've kept yourself pure for marriage but then the marriage seems not to be coming forth but then you feel like your time is running out,,,,hold on
3. You are perhaps a graduate,,, you graduated 10years ago but you have never secured a job in your line of profession ,,now you see that education isn't worth the effort you put in,,,,hold on
4. You have started a project and it has halted, you've tried everything you can to complete it but nothing comes through,,,,,hold on.
5. You are battling a sickness,,,perhaps you don't wanna tell anyone about it,,,and you feel like it's time to push the button,,,,,,hold on

Hold on ,,,,your wait will be worth it
Greater blessings are waiting on you as long as you trust in Him
Take life a step at a time
Everything will be alright
❣️❣️❣️❣️

06/06/2023

You see sometime back I talked about how scared I always was when going early to school(5:20am) every single day
But one day something happened
Fear gripped me so much and even the fact that I had a torch and my mother's words, the fear wouldn't just go away

I just was frightened and I for some reason I didn't actually know what was making me soo afraid

So I did something
I hid in a small bush just close to the path I was using to go to school just until at least there was some bit of light
But while hiding in the bush, someone saw me 🙄
It was the local barber (Anusu- thank you)
He used to go to his place of work very early in the morning so that day he happened to pass by that path( his usual route)
And he saw me then he asked me what I was doing in the bush
What I am thankful for is the fact that at least it wasn't a bad guy who found me but rather someone we were well acquitted with
I then told him that I was for some reason afraid of the darkness( something that if it happened I would repeat my mom's word's "kwani huyo mtu anakungoja tu wewe hapo nje")
These words would give me the courage I so much needed and I wouldn't be afraid anymore but that morning,,,,I said it severally since coming out of the house but it didn't just work,,,,,when I had gone over it time and again I realized that I needed to restrategize
The man then asked me to follow him since we were going the same route anyway
You have no idea how relieved I felt
But here is something
Everytime I felt scared of the darkness, I would opt to do my preps at home until it was brighter enough
I would then be late for school but I felt it was worth it
But something people weren't perhaps aware of is that everytime I went to school late,,,I had done proper preps time and I had covered a lot in solitude but I would enjoy it most when they would think that I just woke up🤪

Moral of the story
1. Sometimes it's best if you listen to your instinct it can really save you from the harm that would likely

31/05/2023

Kindly support this upcoming YouTube channel
Link in the bio

Hello I would like to welcome you to this great platform and thank you for joining this great community that seeks to address the Mental health of our people...

31/05/2023

THE HAUNTED HOUSE
There was silence that enveloped the house,,,,,you might be wondering why the silence (find a comfortable place and read on)
There had been strange things happening in the new house that Fikky's family had moved into.
Fikky's mum Dora was separated from her dad( Tom). Tom had been violent time and again and at the height of it all, he tried making his way with his own daughter (Fikky).
That was it- the last straw Dora decided to choose her peace of mind and the safety of her only surviving daughter and child( she had lost many pregnancies due to the abuse she had endured from Tom everytime he came back home drunk.)

When they saw a list of properties that were being advertised, Dora settled for a particular property that had just about everything she was looking for.
She settled for the property and got the agent processing the purchase.
Meanwhile, Dora was working as a Human Resource Manager
Within a week the whole process was complete and done with and therefore Dora and Fikky moved in.
The house was splendid but for some reason it seemed creepy as if there were a pair of eyes doing an unblinking surveillance on the ongoings of the house.
For instance, Dora would hear some noises on the ceiling,,,and on a particular day she noticed that the arrangement she had made in her living room was tampered with to their previous position ( the one that she had found)
The picture she had hung on the wall was removed and a picture of a certain old couple was replaced in that position. All this while she didn't tell Fikky because she didn't want to freak her out since she was still healing from the trauma she had experienced.
But the things kept happening in the house and at the height of it all she found a sketch of her and her daughter dropped at their door step it was scary since it was painted with blood oozing from wounds inflicted on them😭😭 with this it was no longer a secret to Fikky
When this happened, she called her agent and told her of what was happening in the house she had recently bought, she then decided to place it on the market for sell.
But something happened
Dora wanted to know the root cause of all that was happening in the house.
She visited her agent to inquire about the history of the house.
She came to know that the house was once owned by an old couple that loved each other very much,,they intended to spend the rest of their life together in that house.
They however had only one wish
And that was
They be buried in that compound and that the house be passed down to generation after generation and under no circumstances should it ever be sold.
They had only one son (Kima) but he never for once thought of staying in the country he was all about travelling and having fun so immediately after his parents passed on, he quickly sold all of his inheritance ( including the house he was much warned not to sell) and went to see the world.
It is believed that the spirit of the old couple keeps roaming the house and the compound calling onto him why he failed to fulfill their wish.
The spirit are always seeking to chase the inhabitants out of the property,,,and for the longest time it has worked until it came to Dora.
She now understood everything,the voices she could hear in the middle of the night, the times properties were shifted in the house,,,, the picture of the old couple,,,,she now understood that the picture of the old couple was the real owners of the house,,,,
Their spirit was not at ease that's why they kept roaming around the house
What Dora decided to do was get in touch with the son fortunately, she easily located him,,,,and at the look of things,,
Things were not working out well for him
When Dora brought him in the house, he completely broke down and wept like a baby
Kima: I have had it rough these past few years since my parents died. I kept on travelling but everytime, my parents would come into picture and wail as to why I decided to fail them on their one last wish,,,, this feeling has been driving me crazy and all I could do to get my mind off this illusions or reality was to drown myself in drinking,,,,I in turn turned into an alcoholic but for some reason a force is always driving me out of addiction and I am very sure it's my late parents way of trying to help me. If at all I can find a way to get this house back, then I would do it no matter what the cost.
Dora: I am really sorry for what you have had to go through and it's noble of you to want to reclaim the house back. I may not know you way too well but am willing to help you get back on your feet and maybe then will you be able to buy back the house. I'll offer you accomodation while you still get back on your feet.
Kima: Thank you so much madam, you have no idea how much your help means to me.
And that's how Kima started staying with Dora and Fikky and for the first time, Dora slept soundly because the voices weren't there anymore and things were no longer being shifted after being arranged. The now new transformation made Dora to cancel the sale of the house- she wanted to stay the house was more peaceful than before.

ONE MONTH LATER
Dora and Kima had become very close and seemed to enjoy each other's company. Things progressed gradually between them.
Fikky had gotten fond of Kima- Fikky had avoided all men ever since that incidence with her dad.
This came as a very bright and significant approval of Kima by Dora.( A way to a single parent's heart, ❤️ is through the love you show their child/ren)
Fikky was now more open with Kima and she would discuss freely with him what bothered her and being the nice man he is, Kima was very patient with her and would advise her accordingly.

Kima was an accountant by profession but he had put on hold his career so that he could see the world.
Through Dora's help, Kima secured a job in her company since the company's accountant had resigned due to health complications and a replacement was needed as soon as possible.
Kima however was continuing with his therapy and the progress was enormous that he didn't even believe it himself.
For someone who didn't know, would have mistaken them as father and daughter for that's how Kima saw Fikky.

But no one knew what Fikky had in mind,,,,,,,,,

To be continued

My name is Purity and I seek to share stories that will help inspire someone out there and get them to be them once again
I can be found on YouTube @
Experience life with purity

22/05/2023

You see when I finished highschool, I was among those people who thought that immediately after school, you can easily get a job
The second time finishing highschool,I left home and came to the city for greener pastures,
I have always told myself that I was lucky enough to get a job within four days as a waitress being paid Ksh 300(thanks to my good friend De mettyz🥰)
I wanted to work hard so that I don't lose the job
In as much as it was overwhelming,I had to do it
Many things happened during that time and I collected many more experience from that place
However what I wish I was told before I came to town was;
1. Don't trust just anyone.
2. Not everything goes according to plan.
3. Adjust when you can't continue living the life you've been used to.
4. Do what you g*t to do to put food on the table.

15/05/2023

Part 2:
I then promised myself that I will buy him another got when I grow up
I loved the support I got from my family and the way my dad defended me when people would come home and accuse me of being stubborn.
At Mbale hospital my dad would always reassure me that things would be alright
And he would tell me "puli wakisema Meno yako itatolewa, usijali nitaenda Nairobi nifanye KAZI then nikununulie Meno ya pesa no matter the cost🥺🥺🥺"
That man has held my hand from that dad and whenever we meet even though am an adult now, he will always ask me to open my mouth so that he checks my teeth he does this even in public and I don't mind it at all because I know that he is just looking up for me.
Many stories emerged after that accident and the way we manouvered only God knows
From that time I decided that I would stay as far away from trees as much as I could 😅😅😅
There is a scar on my lower lip that keeps me reminded of who are the ones who will be there with you through thick and thin and that's family 💗💗💗
My two incisors got cracked but that won't stop me from smiling I even smile more these days and my smile is radiant
No matter what happens, family should always come first
Life isn't about competition we just have our own journey and the paths will be different
Create your social connection as much as you can it will help you when you least expect it.
I still have a promise I still need to fulfill to my dad and that's buying him more dairy goats than the one he had to sell to offset my medical bill.
Did I mention that my dad took his contact and later on we paid Dr. Kamagy a visit at the hospital and this time my dad made me wash some huge potatoes inorder to take to him as a token of appreciation ( you should have seen how the doctor was happy) He was later transferred to Kisii referral hospital I hope he continues to transform more lives and put a smile on humanity like he did with me For what's worth never forget those that helped you when struggling

15/05/2023

You see back then when I was still in Primary school precisely standard 7,,,,,I fell from a tree(the reason being I was competing with my younger brother to climb down)
I was the unlucky one and fell on a stone
This made my 4 upper incisors to be dislodged in my gums
I've never felt much pain as I did that day
Drinking water was also a problem(that's how severe it was)
I remember it was on a Sunday on 3rd June 2012
My mum had gone to church and my dad had just taken a stroll around
The next thing I heard was my mum rushing back home and so did my dad
They then took me to Mbale Referral Hospital
I was just given a tetanus injection and was referred to Russia Referral hospital the now Jaramogi
Believe you me mum and dad had no money
So my dad is the only one who took me to the hospital
The entire treatment was to cost Ksh 4000 but we only had a little over Ksh 500
This is the point where I say social networks come in handy and creating good relationships with people is healthy since they come in handy when you least expect it
You should have seen how my dad talked to the doctor someone whom he just met that day(Dr. Kamagy)
They were able to reach an agreement and he accepted to treat me without having even paid with a promise to pay later.
I don't know what happened in the operating room but all my dad told me was that I was injected with more that 10 injections in my mouth and that made me so numb(that's the only way the doctor could return my teeth in their original position)
My teeth were then tied together with wires so that they could hold on
It was painful and then the nightmare came
I was supposed to survive on liquid food for a month
I had to see other people eat solid food whereas I struggled with my liquids using a straw.
Any solid food would make the teeth wires rust and the doctor is usually trusted
When we got home, my dad had to part ways with his goat(it was a dairy goat) so that he could pay.
That thing hurt me more that the wires I had in my teeth.

14/05/2023

I've been thinking quite a lot lately and I decided that I'll use this page to motivate people out there.
I would like to reach as many people as I can and through that I hopefully wish that I can impact someone's life in a positive way.
I like to write stories a lot and that's what I'll do here
They will be a mixture of both fiction and some will be real.
Enjoy the ride with me and make sure you bring someone with you to spread the word of hope and love
About the time, I'll be updating you soon
Stay tuned
And do have a good night

11/05/2023

Who told you
You owe anyone your virginity
Being a virgin or not doesn't make you less of a human being
Being you,being real and being confident in whom and what you are should be all that matters
Some people didn't choose to be not virgins
Some were unfortunately r***d, some circumstances forced them into giving in
Whatever your reason was to seize being a virgin is personal
And no one should point fingers on why you are not one
Embrace yourself
You owe no one nothing
If it's trauma I hope you will heal with time
If it's something you were looking forward to so what? You were being true to yourself
If they are looking for a virgin in you as a woman, let them look for the Virgin Mary
If you as a man knows that you wanna marry a virgin, please do your best and find yourself one so that you don't marry the one who already lost her flower and make her cry as if pepper has entered her eyes, or continuously tell her that you did her a favour and make her feel less of a woman
Go for that one that you can handle without hurting their self esteem