09/12/2024
Emotional abuse can happen in marriage or other relationships; including friendships, family and work relationships. It may occur on its own or it may be part of other forms of violence such as physical violence, financial abuse, sexual abuse, among others.
The abusive person has a consistent behaviour of saying and doing things that are humiliating, criticising, shaming, controlling, accusing, and causing emotional isolation and neglect. The abuser also denies the abuse, and sometimes may even say that what they are being accused of didn’t happen (gas-lighting) leaving the abused person feeling confused and hurt. The abuser makes the abused person constantly feel guilty. They trivialise the feelings of the abused person, and they may also actively work to isolate the abused from their social support.
Even though the wounds are not physical, emotional abuse causes psychological wounds that are deep. The abused person endures continuous psychological injury that causes self-doubt, feelings of worthlessness and disliking yourself. This can affect your confidence when interacting with others, and your work or academic performance. It can lead to mental health problems like depression, anxiety disorders and substance abuse. Prolonged stress can also contribute to development of physical illnesses like hypertension, stomach ulcers, chronic pain, among others.
It is never the fault of the abused person that they are experiencing the abuse, and it is impossible to please the abuser or change them, unless the abuser makes a decision to change, and seeks help.
To deal with this, it is good that first you have acknowledged there is a problem. You need to TAKE CARE of YOURSELF FIRST – avoid blaming yourself and take time to heal. Healing may include getting space where you can re-discover yourself and attend to your needs, such as engaging in an activity that you enjoy and that you do with others, like a sport. Healing may also include talking to a therapist. With time, as you heal, you then need to re-build your social support system and SET PERSONAL BOUNDARIES WITH THE ABUSER. This may mean standing up for yourself without backing up, leaving abusive circumstances or actually leaving the relationship.
Men experience abuse – psychological physical, sexual, financial, among others. Seeking help is healthy, and increasingly, there are social groupings for men in religious and non-religious circles that address the challenges that men encounter.
~Daily Nation
