23/03/2026
Frank stepped out into his backyard one morning and nearly dropped his coffee when he spotted a huge gorilla sitting up in his oak tree.
Panicking, he ran inside and called animal control.
About twenty minutes later an animal control officer pulled up and walked into the yard.
After looking up at the tree and shaking his head, the officer went back to his truck and returned carrying a baseball bat, a big German Shepherd, a pair of handcuffs, and a shotgun.
Frank stared at him and asked, “Uh… what exactly is the plan here?”
The officer said, “Simple. I’m gonna climb up that tree with this bat and knock that gorilla out of the branches.”
Frank nodded and said, “Okay… then what?”
The officer pointed at the dog and said, “When the gorilla hits the ground, my dog Duke here is trained to go straight for his testicles.”
Frank blinked and said, “Alright… then what?”
The officer handed Frank the handcuffs and said, “When the gorilla grabs himself to protect the family jewels, you run over and slap these handcuffs on him.”
Frank slowly nodded as the officer started climbing the tree.
Then Frank looked down at the shotgun and shouted up, “Wait a minute… what’s the shotgun for?”
The officer yelled back, “Oh yeah… if I fall out of the tree, shoot the dog!"
