20/06/2026
HIGH COST OF MARRIAGE, A MODERN PHENOMENON, NEVER A CREATION OF OUR FOREFATHERS
It has become increasingly notorious that many young men who desire to marry are unable to do so because they cannot afford the enormous financial demands now attached to marriage rites in many communities. This unfortunate reality has led to delayed marriages, broken relationships, and social frustrations that our ancestors never envisaged.
It is important to state clearly that the long and intimidating marriage lists associated with many marriages today were never the creation of our forefathers. They are products of modern innovations, gradually introduced by people driven more by greed and materialism than by culture and tradition.
In ancient African societies, and particularly in ancient Igboland, marriage was deliberately designed to be accessible. The institution was structured to encourage responsible men to take wives and establish families. Marriage was seen as a social necessity, not a commercial enterprise.
Among the Igbo, the quantity of yam required for marriage rites was intentionally modest. In some communities, tradition required that the yams be carried by a virgin boy who had not yet been initiated into the masquerade institution. The wisdom behind this was simple: the load was expected to be small enough for any ordinary family to provide without difficulty.
Contrast that with what obtains today. In some places, a vehicle is required to transport the yams. Communities have expanded marriage lists to include sewing machines, motorcycles, generators, and other expensive items that have absolutely no roots in our traditional culture. Some communities have even created additional ceremonies before the marriage itself, including ceremonies merely to obtain the marriage list. What should be a simple administrative process has been transformed into another avenue for extracting money from intending grooms.
Let us call these practices by their proper names. They are modern inventions. They are not culture. They are not tradition. They are products of greed.
Our ancestors did not raise daughters for sale. They raised daughters to become wives, mothers, and builders of families and communities. The essence of bride price was never commercial. It was symbolic, serving as a token of appreciation to the family that nurtured the bride.
Decades ago, the late Igwe Osita Agwuna, Eze Enugwu-Ukwu and Igwe of Umunri, recognized the danger posed by these excessive demands. He courageously confronted the problem and initiated reforms aimed at restoring marriage rites to their original simplicity. He drastically reduced bride price requirements and sought to remove many of the artificial hurdles that had been placed on the path of intending grooms.
Sadly, that intervention did not sink deep enough. Many communities gradually returned to the very practices he sought to abolish. Extravagance resurfaced. Commercialization returned. The girl child once again became, in some places, an object of transaction rather than a partner in family building.
The time has come for a holistic amendment of these practices.
Traditional rulers, community leaders, elders, women's groups, and youth organizations must come together to review marriage rites in their various communities. Every item, levy, and ceremony that cannot be traced to authentic tradition should be abolished. Marriage should once again become what our ancestors intended it to be: a dignified, accessible, and socially beneficial institution.
A society that makes marriage difficult should not be surprised when young people postpone it. A society that commercializes marriage should not be surprised when genuine family values begin to erode.
The solution is not complicated. We must return to who we are. We must return to the wisdom of our forefathers. We must separate culture from greed and tradition from exploitation.
The time for reform is now.
Nze Ukwu Ugezu J. Ugezu Writes
