20/08/2025
WHEN A POLYGAMIST MEETS CHRIST: WHAT SHOULD HE DO WITH HIS WIVES?
(Read till the end. It's actually a long post.)
First, marriage is not a human invention but a divine institution. In Genesis 2:24, before sin ever entered, God Himself said: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” One man, one woman, one flesh. This is not Moses’ law, nor Jewish custom; it is creation order. That is why when Jesus was asked about divorce, He did not appeal first to Moses but to the beginning: “From the beginning it was not so” (Matt. 19:8).
Note that polygamy appears in Scripture, but always after the fall.
Lamech, the descendant of Cain, is the first polygamist (Gen. 4:19). It enters not as blessing but as distortion.
The patriarchs (Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon) took multiple wives, but in every case it resulted in strife, jealousy, sorrow, and divine rebuke. Sarah and Hagar (Gen. 16), Leah and Rachel (Gen. 29–30), Peninnah and Hannah (1 Sam. 1), David’s house torn by rivalry (2 Sam. 13–16), Solomon led into idolatry (1 Kings 11).
Also, though God tolerated it “because of the hardness of hearts” (cf. Matt. 19:8), He never called it His design.
In Deuteronomy 17:17, the law explicitly warns Israel’s king not to “multiply wives, lest his heart turn away.” In Ezekiel 16 and Hosea, God portrays Himself as husband to His people — one groom, one bride.
In Malachi 2:15, the Spirit presses the original question: “Did He not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring.”
Therefore, though polygamy existed in the Old Testament, it is never prescribed, only regulated. God met Israel in their broken structures but kept pointing them back to the pattern: one man, one woman, one flesh.
Now, in the New Testament the veil is torn and the shadows give way to substance. Jesus Christ, the Bridegroom, comes for His Bride (singular). Paul teaches in Ephesians 5:31–32 that marriage is a mystery pointing to Christ and the Church. That mystery cannot be polygamous, for Christ has one Bride, not many. That is why the Spirit, through Paul, sets the standard plainly: “An overseer must be the husband of one wife” (1 Tim. 3:2; Titus 1:6). But you must also understand that the requirement for leaders is not a different gospel; it is the gospel’s embodiment. The reason leaders must be one-wife men is because that is the template for all Christian marriage*.
Now then, the question arises: if a man, before Christ, in his culture, took many wives — what happens when he meets the Lord? Must he send them away? Must he choose one? Must he keep them all?
Let us search the Scriptures.
In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul addresses a church filled with sexual confusion, mixed marriages, slaves, Jews, Gentiles. He lays down a principle in verses 17–24: “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him… Everyone should remain in the condition in which he was called.” This is not permission for sin, but instruction for those who meet Christ already entangled in the bonds of life.
It means that; if you were circumcised, do not seek to remove it; if uncircumcised, do not seek circumcision; if slave, do not be anxious; if free, do not despise it. The principle is: let the call of God sanctify the state you were in, and from that point walk in obedience.
Apply this to polygamy: if a man was converted already with multiple wives, the call of Christ does not permit him to divorce them (divorce is not the gospel’s fruit), nor to despise them (love fulfills the law).
*He must keep them, provide for them, raise his children in the Lord, but — and note this — he is not eligible for certain roles in the Church (such as elder or deacon) because the apostolic pattern requires exemplary households that display the “one wife” model. He is saved, fully and freely, but his domestic history carries consequences for his role.
You may now ask: “But didn’t Ezra make Israel put away foreign wives?” (Ezra 10). Yes, but; those marriages were unlawful unions with pagan women that directly threatened covenant purity. The command was not a template for all polygamy but a radical act of covenant preservation. And in Malachi 2, God condemns men for putting away their wives treacherously. Therefore, to command a polygamist convert to abandon wives and children would contradict the gospel’s mercy, leave women destitute, and make God the author of cruelty.
So, what then? The answer is this:
He must not marry any further wives. Conversion draws a line in the sand: “the times of ignorance God overlooked, but now He commands all people everywhere to repent” (Acts 17:30).
He must honor and provide for the wives he already has, treating them with fairness, as far as is humanly possible.
He must disciple his household in Christ, even through complexity.
He must accept that he cannot model the one-wife standard required of church overseers. This is not rejection, but order. God’s grace covers his past, but his witness in leadership must align with the creation design.
Historically, in the early African missions, when polygamists believed, missionaries wrestled with this. Some erred by forcing men to divorce wives — which produced bitterness, immorality, and abandoned women. Wiser voices, following Paul’s principle, taught: keep the wives you already have, take no more, love them, and order your household.
The gospel does not break families — it heals them, even if imperfectly.
Apologetically;
✓ The Old Testament shows polygamy as tolerated weakness, never ideal.
✓ The New Testament restores the original creation order in Christ.
✓ Paul’s counsel in 1 Corinthians 7 gives a template for those already entangled: remain, but from now on walk in obedience.
✓ The gospel forbids both reckless divorce and reckless indulgence.
✓ Therefore the polygamist convert keeps his wives, takes no more, and lives henceforth in faithfulness.
This both honors God’s Word and protects the vulnerable.
This is where it stings: he may not hide behind “culture” to justify taking more. Repentance means he accepts God’s design: one man, one woman. His household may be complicated, but the gospel meets him where he is and sanctifies it. And though he may be barred from eldership, he is not barred from Christ. For “such were some of you… but you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Cor. 6:11).
Therefore, the teaching is simple:
• Polygamy before Christ is a wound God can heal.
• Polygamy after Christ is rebellion God will judge.
The convert is not to despise his wives nor to multiply them, but to walk humbly, receive grace, and bear witness that God redeems broken stories without calling evil good.
The beauty of the gospel is that it does not erase history, but it transforms it. Where sin abounded, grace abounded much more (Rom. 5:20).
So, if a polygamist comes to Christ, the answer is not abandonment, not indulgence, but sanctification. Keep what you have, take no more, and let the Lord make your house a testimony of mercy.
