24/10/2025
Last four month Mama vex say,
“Onyi, u must go back to school o! Maybe sēnsé go knock your head small!”
I say, “Ok Mama, since na your wish, who I be to argue?”
Mama happy say I don finally reason well, she come talk,
“My intelligent pikin! Na that Government Primary School I go register you.”
I look myself for mirror, see bréâst full, wæist set, wig fine — I come ask her,
“Mama, na ïnsụlt be this abi na advice? U wan make small pikin wey still dey suck pencil dey laugh me?”
Mama talk calm calm,
“No vex my daughter, na because we no too get money I wan make you sabi book.”
Na so one week later, she carry me go register for **Primary 5**.
Dem suppose put me for 6 but as I no fit spell my name straight, head woman no gree. 😭
I just carry my bag jejely go sit for back, dey mind my business.
Next thing, one oversabi girl waka come near me,
“Everybody come see o! 0|d mama don come school! She suppose dey cook for husband!”
I try peace mode reply,
“Omo breeze just dey blow, abeg no d!sturb me.”
Before I know, she shout,
“Attention! Attention! Na dustb!n dem pick this aunty from! She wan use style collect my position as chairlady!”
Before I fit even blink, **gbosa!** she sl@p me.
Na that sl@p wake up my village sp!r!t 😤
I return the favour — **one combo punch** straight!
Her face swell like puff-puff wey never fry well.
Head woman rush come, no gree hear my own side.
Na so dem suspend me o.
Now I dey road dey go house, dey rehearse how I go tell Mama say her “brilliant plan” don turn to school r!0t 😭
Because if Mama hear say dem suspend me again —
Na second round of “ádụlt education” I go receive for house! 😂😂😂