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Nurse Nmalove, Okpanam Road, Asaba (2026)

01/05/2026

Welcome to the month of May

23/03/2026

On Saturday, I witnessed something that has refused to leave my mind.

A woman came in, in the early hours of the morning. She was progressing well. At some point, she was already 7cm dilated. Everything looked okay… until it didn’t.

Her membranes were gone, and then we realized the baby was coming feet first.

Breech.

Immediately, we counseled her and her husband. We explained the risks. We told them clearly that vaginal delivery at that point was not the safest option. A cesarean section would be better. Safer for both mother and child.

They refused.

Not because we didn’t explain well. Not because they didn’t understand.

But because they picked up their phone… and called their pastor.

And over the phone, he kept telling them:
“There is nothing God cannot do.”
“You will deliver like the Hebrew women.”

And the woman kept shouting “Amen”…

While her life — and her baby’s life — was on the line.

We couldn’t force them. So we continued.

Then the real struggle began.

The baby started coming out… both legs were already out. But the rest of the body got stuck.

It was difficult. Very difficult.

We had to call the doctors. They had to insert their hands and perform maneuvers just to try and bring out the shoulders.

At that point, it was no longer a normal delivery.

It became a fight.

A fight to bring out a baby that was already in distress.

The baby’s legs started turning blue.

Blue.

That alone tells you what was going on inside.

The head got stuck. It wouldn’t come out.

It was not funny anymore.

We had to give the mother a bilateral cut just to create space. Pain that could have been avoided.

And guess what?

It was at that exact point — when the body was already out and only the head was stuck — that the husband said he was now ready to sign for surgery.

At that point?

What exactly are we taking to the theatre?

Everyone was frustrated. Angry. Helpless.

And then he said the reason they refused earlier was because of money.

Money.

Meanwhile, if they had told us from the beginning, we would have found a way. We always do. No life should be lost because of money.

But that wasn’t even the truth.

Because that same day, when the baby was rushed to the special baby care unit, they deposited ₦200,000.

Yesterday, the mother was discharged… her bill was over ₦200,000.

In just two days, they spent over ₦400,000.

The same money they claimed they didn’t have.

Tell me… isn’t it better they had done a cesarean section from the beginning?

One safe surgery.
A healthy baby.
A stable mother.

Instead of this?

The baby… when I saw that child…

Blue.
Bleeding from the mouth.
We had to suction.
We had to give oxygen.

We are doing everything we can.

But deep down, we know…

Even if that baby survives, there may be brain damage.

All of this…

In the name of “faith.”

Let me ask you:

Is it not God that gives doctors wisdom?

Is God not present in the theatre?

Is a cesarean section a sin?

Please, be wise.

Faith is not foolishness.

Listen to medical advice.

Ask questions.

Pray, yes — but also act with understanding.

Because sometimes, what you call “trusting God”…

is actually putting lives at risk.

And some mistakes…

you cannot undo.

23/03/2026

When nurses play

20/03/2026

Before you choose Nursing because of “japa”… please read this carefully.
A lot of people have been asking me questions like…
“How can I become a nurse?”
“What are the requirements?”
“I want to use it to travel abroad…”
And I understand.
But let me tell you the honest truth…
Nursing is a calling.
If you don’t have the love for it, you will get frustrated. Not just abroad… even right here in Nigeria.
Because in Nigeria, the truth is… nurses are not paid well.
So this is not one of those professions you go into thinking all your financial problems are solved.
You may even need to have something else by the side to support yourself.
Yes, the profession is self-establishing.
You can grow, have your own clients, and if you’re a midwife like me, you can even own your own maternity if you have the capacity.
But beyond all that…
You must love this work.
You must love caring for people.
For example, I genuinely love what I do.
I love assisting women to bring life into this world.
I love taking care of pregnant women and seeing them through that journey.
That part of nursing? I love it deeply.
Even if I decide to go further and study medicine, I already know… I will still choose obstetrics and gynecology. I will still stay with women, childbirth, and everything around it.
That’s how much I love it.
Let me even tell you something personal…
I just finished 7 days of night shift and I’ve been on 5 days off.
And in these past few days, even though I’ve been busy with other things…
The fact that I haven’t been in the hospital, haven’t followed a woman through labor, haven’t put a mother to bed…
It feels like something is missing.
Some days I go to work and there’s no delivery… and it doesn’t even feel like I worked that day.
That’s the level of love I’m talking about.
Now about “japa”…
Yes, abroad is better than Nigeria in terms of pay when you convert it.
But let me shock you…
The work is even more tedious there.
I have people abroad. I’m in groups with nurses in the diaspora.
They will tell you the truth:
Long shifts.
12 hours and more.
Constant work.
Very demanding.
So don’t think it’s some easy life over there.
Even the pay, when you really look at the workload, many still say it is not fully commensurate.
So please…
Don’t go into nursing thinking it is just for money or just to escape Nigeria.
Because if you do, you may make money…
But you will not find fulfillment.
And this is where I will be very honest…
That’s why we have some nurses who are hostile.
Yes, I said it.
I have met colleagues in this same profession who are very harsh… even to women in labor.
They transfer aggression.
They are difficult to approach.
They lack patience.
And it shows.
But when you truly love this profession…
Whether the pay is good or not…
That care, that patience, that compassion will still come out naturally.
So please, before you choose nursing…
Ask yourself:
Do I really love this?
Can I care for people even on my worst days?
Can I find fulfillment beyond the money?
Because nursing is a beautiful profession.
It is impactful.
It opens doors.
But if you don’t love it…
You will be frustrated.
Choose wisely.

19/03/2026

That moment when you and your partner FINALLY agree…
“Tonight, we are going to enjoy ourselves.” 😌

Everything is planned.

Children fed ✔
Bath done ✔
Beds neatly dressed ✔
Extra snacks even added so nobody will disturb you ✔✔

You even do “final final” check:
“Anybody wants water? Toilet? Last call o!”

Everybody says NO.
Peace. Silence. Victory.

You now enter your room like two adults that are ready to reconnect, bond, and live small 😏

You even start gradually… warming up… climbing cloud one… cloud two… approaching cloud three…

THEN BAM!!! 💥

GBAM GBAM GBAM!!!
“Mummy!!! Mummyyyy!!”

Tell me WHY these children will knock like they are chasing thieves 😭

And not just small knock o…
The kind that will scatter your soul and drag you back to reality immediately.

Mood?
Gone.
Spirit?
Collapsed.
Body?
Confused.

You now jump out of bed like emergency nurse on night duty.

And the painful part?
On normal days when you are NOT even interested… you will not see them.
They will sleep like angels sent from heaven.

But the one night you planned it well…
The one night you even added EXTRA biscuit and juice…
That is the night they will remember:

“Mummy, I am thirsty.”
“Mummy, I heard a sound.”
“Mummy, I cannot sleep.”

Last night, I will not lie… I SHOUTED 😩

Me that I’m always calm with my children.
Me that I talk gently.

I shouted.

They were shocked. I was shocked.

They quietly went back to bed…
And me? I now stood there feeling DOUBLE pain.

Pain number one:
They have scattered the whole moment 😭

Pain number two:
I shouted at my babies 💔

End result?
Nothing happened again.

Just two adults lying down like…
“Life is hard.” 😭

Please tell me I’m not the only one.

Is there something that alerts children when their parents are about to have a good time??

Because this thing is too consistent to be coincidence 😭

Parents, how are you people coping abeg???

19/03/2026

“How would you feel if I saw something that could take your l!fe… and I couldn’t say a word? It’s not that I don’t care—it’s that I legally cannot. Read this before it’s too late.”

For a while now, I have been talking to my siblings… especially my brothers.

Not because I like to talk too much.
Not because I want to control their lives.

But because of three simple reasons.

First, I love them.

Second, it is a warning.
They have an advantage… having someone in the medical field who sees things they don’t see, who hears things they don’t hear, who understands what is really going on behind the scenes.

And third…

Because there may come a time when I will be completely helpless.

Yes… helpless.

A time where I might know something that could save you…
Something that could protect you…
Something that could change everything for you…

And I will not be able to say a word.

Not because I don’t care.

But because I am not allowed to.

Patient confidentiality is real.
Medical ethics is real.

So if you are my sibling…
If you are my friend…
If you are someone close to me reading this…

Understand this now, so it doesn’t hurt you tomorrow:

My love for you may not be enough in certain situations.

Don’t ever say,
“She knew and didn’t tell me.”
“She chose her profession over me.”

Because you don’t expect me to destroy my life, lose my license, and throw away everything I have worked for…

At the expense of your own carelessness.

I am not responsible for your choices.

But I am responsible enough to warn you.

So hear me now.

That girlfriend you trust so much…
That boyfriend you believe so deeply…

Be careful.

Even people who are married…
Yes, legally married…

We see them.

They come in.
They sit down.
And their stories are painful.

A partner goes out…
Comes back with something they never bargained for…
And transfers it to the person who trusted them the most.

That is marriage.

Now think about you…
That is not even married.

And you are going in raw…
Based on trust…
Based on “we checked before”…
Based on “I know my partner.”

What happens when your partner meets someone else tomorrow?

What happens if they make one mistake?

What happens if they don’t even know they have picked up something?

And they come back to you…

And you continue like nothing happened?

This is how lives change.

This is how people sit in hospitals, confused, broken, asking questions nobody can answer.

Listen to me carefully.

Protect yourself.

If you cannot abstain, protect yourself.
If you cannot be with one partner, protect yourself.
If you are sexually active, protect yourself.

Go for regular checkups.
Go with your partner.
Ask questions.
Stop assuming.

Because the rate at which we are seeing cases…

It is alarming.

Almost every day, you come across it.

Almost every day.

This is not fear.
This is reality.

So I’m saying this again, not as a nurse…
Not just as a professional…

But as someone who genuinely cares about you:

Be careful.
Guard yourself.
Protect your life.

Because one day, I might be looking at you…

Knowing something that could save you…

And I will not be able to speak.

19/03/2026

Last month, something happened at my workplace that I have not been able to forget.

I didn’t rush to share it. Not because it wasn’t important, but because I needed to sit with it… to really understand what it meant.

But today, I need to say this.

Not to scare you.
Not to judge anyone.

But to open your eyes.

Because the truth is this:
You are solely responsible for your health.

Not your boyfriend.
Not your girlfriend.
Not your husband.
Not your wife.

You.

No matter how much you love someone, no matter how much you trust them, you cannot afford to be careless with your life.

Let me tell you why.

A young woman came into our facility.
Pregnant. About 8 months gone.

But the baby inside her was already dead.

We had to help her go through labor and deliver a lifeless baby. That alone is something no woman should ever have to experience.

But that was not even the most shocking part.

She looked at us and begged us to hide it from her husband.

She wanted us to pretend everything was normal.
Carry out the delivery.
Then come outside and announce that the baby “didn’t make it.”

Like it just happened.

Like it was sudden.

Like it was nobody’s fault.

We refused.

Because truth matters.
Because we cannot build care on lies.
Because we cannot carry someone else’s deception.

She eventually agreed to tell him.

But that was only the beginning.

When the husband arrived, he was confused… and angry.

According to him, his wife was supposed to have delivered since September of the previous year.

But here we were, months later, and she was still “pregnant.”

We checked our records.

Everything was clear.

Her due date was actually around February to early March.

That was when the story started shifting.

Later, the woman quietly came back to explain.

The pregnancy her husband knew about…
She had already lost it.

And he didn’t know.

This current pregnancy?
Was a completely different one.

He had no idea.

Pause there.

Take it in.

This was not a mistake.
This was not confusion.

This was intentional deception.

But even that was not the hardest part.

The hardest part was this:

She is HIV positive.

And her husband does not know.

She made it clear she does not want him to know.

And as healthcare workers, we are bound by confidentiality.

So even if that man was your brother…
your friend…
someone you love deeply…

We cannot tell him.

Do you understand the weight of that?

Do you see how dangerous this world has become?

This is not about blaming women.
This is not about attacking men.

This is about reality.

There is so much deception out there now.

People are protecting themselves… at the expense of others.

People are hiding things that can destroy lives.

And you, on the other hand, are out here trusting with your whole heart.

Listen carefully.

Love is not enough.
Trust is not enough.

You must be aware.
You must be intentional.
You must be responsible for yourself.

If you are in a relationship or marriage:

Go for checkups together.
Do your tests together.
Ask questions.
Be involved.

Do not sit back and assume everything is fine.

Because sometimes… it is not.

And by the time you find out, it may already be too late.

This is not fear.
This is wisdom.

Protect yourself.

Because at the end of the day…

No matter who you are with,

You are responsible for your own life.

18/03/2026

So help me understand this…

Your wife is in labor. Not just labor, but high-risk labor. You bring her to the hospital, hand her over to the nurses, and suddenly you think your job is done?

You go home… and sleep?

No calls. No check-ins. No “how is she doing?” Not even the basic decency to stay available in case your presence is needed.

Meanwhile, this woman is battling more than just labor pains. Her blood pressure is high. Protein is already showing in her urine. Edema is obvious. The signs of preeclampsia are staring us in the face. This is not a “we’ll see how it goes” situation. This is a life-and-death situation.

We informed you from the beginning. We explained the risks. We told you there was a possibility she might need to go into the theatre.

But you left.

When the moment came and we needed your consent to save your wife and your baby, you were nowhere to be found. Calls were going unanswered. Your wife was in distress, and the one person who should stand in the gap for her was unreachable.

Hours later… 5am… you finally pick up.

And your response?
“But we prayed… they said she won’t have CS.”

Let me say this clearly:
Pregnancy is not a test of faith. It is a medical journey that requires responsibility.

Prayer is important, yes. But so is showing up. So is making decisions. So is protecting the life of the woman carrying your child.

You cannot outsource responsibility to nurses, doctors, or prayers and then disappear.

And this is the painful truth:
If anything had gone wrong, the same people who vanished would be the loudest voices online, accusing healthcare workers of negligence.

This has to stop.

Men, do better.
Be present.
Be reachable.
Be responsible.

And please, ladies…
I will keep saying this until it sinks in:

Marry a man who has sense.

Not just a man who can buy you shawarma.
Not just a man who can fund hairstyles and phones.
Not just a man who says sweet things.

Marry a man who understands responsibility.
A man who will stand when it matters.
A man who will not disappear when your life is on the line.

Because one day, it won’t be about dates or gifts.

It will be about life… and who is willing to fight for yours.

09/03/2026

Last night during my night shift, around 12:30 a.m., a young pregnant woman walked into the hospital in active labour. She looked about 25 years old and had reached full term.
She came with a man who claimed to be her husband.

They arrived carrying two small nylon bags. No proper preparation for delivery. No hospital card. No delivery materials. Nothing.
When we asked if she had registered anywhere for antenatal care, the answer was no.
Not in our hospital. Not in any hospital.
They had earlier gone somewhere else and were referred to us.

Now imagine a woman in labour and we have no medical records, no scan results, no test results, no antenatal history. We needed basic information just to begin.
We asked the man to at least buy a hospital card and delivery materials while she stayed on the bed.
Even a delivery mat they did not come with.
We had to borrow one from another patient just so the woman could lie down.

Then something shocking happened.
After a few minutes, the man returned and asked the woman:
“What is your full name?”
Yes.
The man who called himself her husband did not know her surname.
Both of them stood there confused until the woman shouted out her full name for him to write.

That was the first sign that something was very wrong.
Then he came back with only one delivery mat.
We explained that delivery requires several. For the mother, the baby, and replacements during the process.
He looked completely lost.
When we asked about deposit for delivery, he said something that honestly broke my heart.
He said he might need to sell one of his phones.
At midnight.
He had come to the hospital without a single naira, hoping he would somehow raise money after the baby was born.

When we asked the woman what her husband does for a living, she hesitated.
Then she said:

“He used to do Yahoo.”

That means the entire plan for this pregnancy was basically hoping something would work out somehow.
No savings.
No antenatal care.
No preparation for delivery.
Just hope.
At that point, we had no choice but to refer them to a government hospital where the cost might be more affordable.

And as they left, I kept thinking about something.
Childbirth is not a joke.
Pregnancy lasts nine months.
Nine whole months to prepare.

Delivery requires:
• Medical care
• Hospital registration
• Delivery materials
• Money for emergencies
• A responsible support system

You cannot enter pregnancy unprepared in every single area and hope things will magically work out.
To every young woman reading this:
Please open your eyes.
Love is not enough to raise a child.
Hope is not a delivery plan.
And pregnancy is not something to gamble with.
Before you carry a baby for anyone, ask yourself:
Is this man responsible?
Is he stable?
Can we handle pregnancy, delivery, and a child?
Many people have made mistakes in the past. Life happens.
But let this serve as a reminder:
Be wise. Prepare well. Childbirth is serious business.

08/03/2026

Day 1 of night shift, the ward seems calm now...na lie oo, just wait till 12am when the pregy's start coming in and my beauty sleep will disappear

Nurse Nmalove

01/05/2026

23/03/2026

23/03/2026

20/03/2026

19/03/2026

19/03/2026

19/03/2026

18/03/2026

09/03/2026

08/03/2026

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