Favour Ukiri-Phavourite

Favour Ukiri-Phavourite Writer on Relationships. Lifestyle. Self Development–Phavourite. Graphics designer and Jazz Pianist. Passionate about influence.

A Pro- Creative writer and [email protected], founder .blogspotcom. Currently obtaining first degree in B-pharm, Pharm-D at the University of Benin, Benin City.

I understand that a lot of things can naturally contribute to self-confidence, one of which is how you look, your dress,...
07/06/2025

I understand that a lot of things can naturally contribute to self-confidence, one of which is how you look, your dress, your body, your face, and all of those things that we tie it to.

Something whispers to your ear, "He's watching me, she's staring at me."

Look, if you wait till your body, dress, or face becomes the picture you fantasize about in your mind, you'll never truly be confident.

Today, you'll feel fatter, tomorrow too dark, next tomorrow, another reason will also surface to discredit yourself.

Real confidence starts first from accepting who you are right now and embracing who you become each day.

Instead, every day you wake up, tell yourself:

"I am beautiful and intelligent. I am handsome, stunning, and attractive."

By so doing, you'll be building a foundation of confidence that comes from who you truly are, rather than one based on who people say you are.

My name is and I want you to be confident.

PLEASE READ TO THE END:"The Grass is Greener on the other side" is not a motivational Quote and there's absolutely nothi...
02/06/2025

PLEASE READ TO THE END:

"The Grass is Greener on the other side" is not a motivational Quote and there's absolutely nothing positive about it.

The phrase is often misunderstood to be a message of hope that encourages you to always seek better opportunities. But no. In its unrefined form, it translates to say that "the harvest is always more fruitful in the field of others."

It was first used by an ancient Roman poet, Ovid in his poem and He used it to advise young Men and women to resist the temptation to assume that other people's relationships or husbands are better than their own.

A lot of people have lost suitable partners because of the delusionary belief that a better option will always come. A better option can come, but it does undermine valuing what you already have.

A lot of the time, God gave you the best option already. It was you who was too blind to realize that, sometimes, before diamonds are called diamonds, they are first 'dirty' diamonds.

Instead, tell yourself, it is not greener on the other side. It is green where I am and it is my responsibility to cultivate and water it until it blossoms and becomes greener.

Dear people, what will make your relationship better and enviable is the undivided commitment that you put in to nurture and strengthen your bond.

Perfection is an illusion, luckily, getting better or improving what we have at hand is such a blessing that we already have.

Instead of wishing you were someone else, improve yourself or what/who you already have. I know it is work. But trust me, it is work that is going to be worth it.

Favour Ukiri
2nd June, 2025

28/05/2025

In the streets of social media, your past especially as a woman do not matter. No matter how terrible it was, the blood of Jesus(allegedly) has watched them all away.

Unfortunately, in real life, it is your sins that the blood cleansed, not your past.

Before you say "Yes, I do" to a man, there's usually one fundamental check that you often attempt to uncover. Which is that:

"Does He have a promising future. Is He going to or looks like a man who is capable of making it in the future".

And I think it's quite reasonable to take time to find out before committing, because no one, including me, wants to end up with the wrong person.

But the bigger question is that if his future matters so much to you, because truly, it is going to have a direct impact on your own future as a woman, what makes you think that your past shouldn't matter to him too?

Even though pasts of both genders matter, we cannot deny that it tends to matter more for woman.

Simply put it as, future for men, past for women.

So dear woman, yesterday is your past. Today in a few hours would soon become a part of the past for you.

Do not ruin today for instant gratification, because it will form a part of your past tomorrow–A past, that a young man madly in love with you, would dig up tomorrow.

18/05/2025

If you come out of a relationship that didn’t end well, it is only natural to want to cast blames. “It was his fault it didn’t work out,” “It was her fault, He’s such a narcissist (the new word in town), so toxic and difficult.”

While some of these things might be true, verbalizing it may also say a lot about your own lack of accountability. If they really were all those things and yet you still chose to be with them, then it also reflects something about your decision-making and poor choices. Don't you think so too?

Even if you believe that your ex was a terrible partner, it is nearly impossible that the relationship failed entirely because of them. You likely had a role to play, even if it was a small one.

And then somebody asks me: "What if all these attitudes were being covered before you entered the relationship, would you still blame your selection process?"

In that case, I reference a place in scripture that emphasizes discernment as a spiritual gift. If you were unable to discern how terrible they could be in the long run, somehow, it also speaks volumes about how weak your spirit man was, which I believe you can still take responsibility for.

By so doing, you give yourself the chance to learn and grow from your past experiences, rather than playing the blame game and repeating the same mistakes over and over again.

Lastly, the reason we emphasize that you approach post-breakup phases this way is first, not because we’re unaware that you can be a great person and still end up innocently stuck with an id!0t.

Rather, what is more important is that taking full responsibility, and even some of the blames helps you heal more effectively from post-breakup trauma.

It also lowers your risks of dragging emotional baggage from a past relationship into a new one.

15/05/2025

Stop judging people only by their words. Pay attention to words, but pay more attention to what they do after they say those words.

This may set a viewer free from emotional manipulation. Whenever someone tells you they love or like you repeatedly, ask yourself, do their actions match their words?

Stop wasting your time on people who cannot walk their talk. If their actions never match their words, if they say one but do another consistently, my dear it's no coincidence.

That’s a clear sign they are not for you.

Some time ago, a big influencer gave her story about how she was dating a man, who happened to be a doctor some years ba...
13/05/2025

Some time ago, a big influencer gave her story about how she was dating a man, who happened to be a doctor some years back.

While the relationship was on, she had a friend whom she enjoys his company so much because the platonic friend makes her laugh all the time.

The doctor boyfriend raised his concern about her regular long calls with that friend who makes her laugh out her ribs.

The end of the story is that she later left her doctor boyfriend and today, married to her comedian friend.

She put out this story because she needed to emphasize "keeping your options open" as a woman.

And what they mean by “keeping options open” while in a relationship is entertaining attention from other men—just in case their current man decides to say He's not doing again.

Well, to some degree, I agree that we should not keep all our eggs in one basket.

But the downside of that narrative is that we misrepresent what putting all your eggs in one basket and what keeping your options open ideally means.

Keeping your options open means that while you have agreed to be with that Man, who perhaps has not tied the knot with you yet, you are free to have your own hobbies and interests.

You are completely at liberty to maintain friendships you made outside of the relationship before the relationship started and while it lasts.

You see, even in marriage. Even though limited, you are free to keep your options open.

But the implication of entertaining attention and validation from other men under the guise of "keeping your options open" is that it distracts you from truly seeing the person you're currently with.

Divided emotional attention in a defined relationship is not "keeping your options open" at all. It is cheating.

If you may argue that it is not cheating, you cannot also argue that by checking someone else out while in a defined relationship, you, by yourself increase your chances of falling into the temptation of cheating on your partner; if not now, in the future.

If you agreed to be with a Man, then He deserves some level of undivided attention from you.

Moreso, “Do not keep all your eggs in one basket” does not hold water in a committed relationship.

What we do in relationships is literally saying that as long as I’ve found you worthy enough to be with you, I’m placing all my eggs before you while I give you benefits of doubts that they are safe with you.

That is why you cannot separate Trust from love.

Favour Ukiri
12th May, 2025

13/05/2025

Among other factors, one thing that makes a woman stand out is cultivating a culture of respect. Just as a fish is drawn to bait, good men are naturally drawn to respect.

And the kind of respect I’m referring to isn’t the one you exaggerate only when you see a man as a potential partner. It’s the kind that you consistently show to every man—whether or not he is a potential mate.

13/05/2025

The idea that a beauty queen is a fair damsel with long hair and a pointed nose, or a woman who is heavily endowed with Arsenal and Man-U, loaded with fronts and backs, is a picture that was painted for you unknowingly by movies and society.

If you go to China, Japan, and Korea, for instance, where the majority of their women are flat (so to say), according to some statistics, and live there for some time, the idea of who a beauty queen or prince charming is to you will gradually begin to change.

The point is that there are a lot more things they told or conditioned you to believe were true, but are not necessarily are.

Apart from God's agape love for us, I really do not think that it is very feasible to love people romantically without e...
07/05/2025

Apart from God's agape love for us, I really do not think that it is very feasible to love people romantically without expectations—whether big or small.

On a personal note, if you tell me you love me, for instance, I expect that the least you can do is care about my well-being. That’s an expectation, which in some sense, is a condition.

I do not encourage transactional relationships, but I think that it is okay to love people for their status or for what they can offer, as long as you too are willing to bring your own value to the table.

Don't confuse conditional love for gold digging. Love with expectation is a normal aspect of our lives.

Conditional love says: I want us both to contribute to this relationship and build a stable future together.
Gold digging says: If you can’t provide the luxury lifestyle I want, I’m out.

Conditional love says: I’ll support you as long as you’re trying your best and growing with me.
Gold digging says: I will stay as long as the money keeps flowing, regardless of your personal struggles.

Conditional love says: I love you, but I need certain things (respect, effort, loyalty) to feel secure.
Gold digging says: I love you, but only for what you can give me materially—not for who you are.

The real issue starts when you expect more from someone than what you know you are capable of bringing to the table.

04/05/2025

You’ll think you’re such a softhearted person, meek, lowly, and full of forgiveness.

But one thing relationships with people, especially romantic ones, will show you is that you’re not always all these good things you thought you were.

Relationships teach you that as long as you're not isolated in your own world, people will keep hurting you—intentionally or not.

And the best you should keep doing is to forgive and let go.

Chimamanda Adichie gave birth to a set of twins via surrogacy and it has sparked criticisms, which personally, I conside...
03/05/2025

Chimamanda Adichie gave birth to a set of twins via surrogacy and it has sparked criticisms, which personally, I consider uninformed and misplaced.

Apart from creating awareness about how to do Relationships right, one of our mission is to inbibe in people, a mindset that makes it easier for people, especially us Africans to adapt easily to change.

The world is evolving and alternatives are fast rising.

In our present age, if you cannot write for instance, your alternative is to employ AI tools—often available for free.

If you're unable to go through the rigor of traveling long distances to meet people, you simply leverage social media. Businesses also rely heavily on the internet and social platforms to make sales.

In 2020, during the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic in Nigeria, most institutions—from secondary schools to tertiary levels switched to Zoom sessions, and it was quite understandable.

Now that it is about surrogacy– an alternative for women who for some reasons may be not be capable of carrying a child, you want to cast stones?

It is very inconsistent to praise innovation in tech and Medicine but struggles to embrace advancement in reproductive health, especially when it challenges traditional norms of delivery.

The stigma over surrogacy is actually more rooted in emotions rather than sound logic and flexibility.

With surrogacy, as long as your egg or s***m or both are used, you are fully the biological parent of the child. The surrogate simply carries the baby and has no genetic ties to them.

You gerrit?

The impact of movies, romantic movies, on our perspectives and expectations about love affairs can be so profound.In thi...
02/05/2025

The impact of movies, romantic movies, on our perspectives and expectations about love affairs can be so profound.

In this year, 2025, there’s someone out there whose only picture of being in love is having a good time, going out to fanciful places, making day and night calls every day, and saying "I love you," all the time.

When I was a teen, before I got to experience the world in a bit of a different light, got interested in learning about relationships and people, and then started talking about these issues (especially in public and on social media), I honestly thought that when you're in love, nothing else should matter: work, hobbies, preferences.

The truth is, a lot of our preferences are subconsciously instilled in us by the scenes that we consume. And sadly, they may not be so much in touch with our real world.

If you still can’t be your real self around him or her—including showing your flaws, take a step back. That’s probably not love yet. It might just be a wave of temporary feelings.

Love means that as much as I'm aware of your strengths, I see through and acknowledge the things that you're terrible at. I am aware that you're not the smartest, brightest brain, the most beautiful or charming, richest or most skillful. But I still choose to find you attractive, care for you, be by you, and grow with you.

Shey you see it is more about decision-making than it is about mushy feelings?

Whether romantic or platonic, it is not yet love if you cannot be vulnerable around them.

Because trust, the fuel that drives long-term commitment in any ship, whether friendship, courtship, or relationship, is built on vulnerability.

That’s why I really respect my friends who feel comfortable enough to be their true selves around me.

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