19/09/2025
The Day Faith Fainted in Church
My people, let me take you back to one unforgettable mid-week service in our church. Everything started well: pastor was preaching fire, the choir was vibrating, and the ushers were already sweating like pure water sellers in traffic because NEPA had disappeared.
Then suddenly, in the middle of praise and worship, Sister Faith, the slim soprano singer, the one that always lifts her hands dramatically like she’s about to fly, shouted “Hallelujah!” with all her might. Before we could say “Amen,” gbam! She collapsed on the floor like a sack of rice.
Confusion started immediately. The keyboardist stopped playing mid-chord, the drummer dropped his sticks, and the entire church froze. One sister screamed, “The Holy Ghost has landed!” Pastor stretched his hands from the pulpit and shouted, “Receive it, my daughter!” while half the church rushed forward to hold her skirt down so it wouldn’t embarrass the family.
Deaconess Comfort brought out her emergency bottle of anointing oil and began rubbing it on Faith’s forehead like she was marinating chicken. Another usher fanned her with an old church bulletin as if oxygen was hiding inside the paper. One elder even shouted, “This is revival! This is revival!”
But the drama reached peak Nollywood level when they poured cold water on her face. Slowly, Faith opened her eyes, blinked, and with the faintest voice whispered:
“Please… is there bread?”
Ah! My brother, my sister, silence swallowed the church for three seconds. Then, laughter exploded like Christmas fireworks! Even pastor bent double holding his stomach, the choir members rolled on the altar laughing, and one usher nearly fell on top of her from laughing too hard.
It turned out poor Faith wasn’t caught up in the Spirit at all. She had been fasting since morning with nothing in her belly except one cup of Lipton tea without sugar. Hunger beat her mercilessly in the middle of worship and knocked her straight to the floor.
That evening after service, instead of prayer meeting, it turned into “feeding program.” The women’s fellowship carried rice and stew for her, the youth choir promised to always check her stomach before she holds a microphone, and till today, whenever Faith lifts her hands in worship, somebody behind her will whisper:
“Faith, hope you ate oh!”
Since then, anytime anybody faints in church, the first thing we ask is not “Holy Spirit?” but “Did you eat today?”
Church drama sweet pass Netflix! 😂.
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