20/03/2025
I saw this write up and decided to share .
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As a man who wants to marry a highly educated and ambitious woman, you must either be equally highly educated and ambitious or have a solid dose of self-esteem, emotional intelligence, and a well-controlled ego.
This is why discussing career, goals, and future ambitions is a must during courtship—so that you at least know what you're getting into. That woman who may seem to be just finding her footing while you're courting may have great and lofty dreams for the future. She may want to be a boss lady. So, you need to discuss whether you can handle her drive and all that comes with it.
I've seen firsthand how much gaslighting successful women endure at the hands of their husbands. Every normal reaction or action is interpreted as arrogance or pride. These women can't even get angry in peace—it will be termed as controlling.
If you've seen Smart Money Woman, you'll understand what I mean. The character of the lawyer married to Soj perfectly captures this dynamic. It reminded me of real-life situations I've witnessed among family members. At one point in my life, I found myself praying not to be richer than my husband. I prayed that no matter how much I earned, my husband would always earn more because I didn’t want to tiptoe around just because I was more successful. But as I grew and with the kind of man I have, I realized that a man's emotional maturity and confidence in himself are what truly matter.
Men who feel threatened by their wives’ success are often those who tie their sense of masculinity solely to financial power. In other words, beyond money, they bring nothing else to the table. So when their wives begin to earn more, they feel emasculated.
While it’s important for men to be secure and emotionally mature in handling a successful and ambitious wife, it’s equally important for ambitious women to cultivate humility, emotional intelligence, and respect in their relationships. Ambition is admirable, bu