19/09/2026
Living abroad comes with a reality many of us don’t talk about:
You become the person so many people depend on.
Family from different regions.
Friends from different stages of life.
Old classmates, church members, cousins, neighbours — all with your number.
All calling the same person: you.
And over time, you start to notice there are two kinds of people in your circle.
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The first kind: those who rarely ask
These are people who:
• Try everything before they come to you.
• Have a Plan B, sometimes even a Plan C.
• When their budget gets tight, they think:
• “How can I earn extra?”
• “What can I cut?”
• “What opportunity can I create?”
When they finally ask for help, it’s not the first thing they tried.
And when they receive from you, they make the most of it.
They hold on to it tight.
They use it to stand, not to lean on forever.
They understand that:
• You have your own life abroad.
• You have your own family and bills.
• Many other people are also reaching into your pocket.
They know that if this keeps happening, you’ll run dry.
That you’ll just be eating from paycheck to paycheck:
Get paid → send money home → survive → wait for the next pay.
No growth. No building. No future.
So when they get help from you, they don’t keep coming back again and again.
They use it, they grow, they stand on their own.
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The second kind: those who live on “my person is abroad”
These are people who:
• Rarely try before they call.
• Have no emergency fund, no backup plan.
• Live their life, enjoy themselves, eat well, spend freely —
and when things get tight, they come to you.
Every tight month = “Can you help?”
Every new business idea = “Can you fund this?”
Every family emergency = “You’re our only hope.”
Year after year, you’re:
• Opening business for the same person.
• Helping with one emergency after another.
• Counting how many times in a year you’ve bailed them out — and it’s not once, not twice, but many times.
They don’t care if other people are also asking you.
They don’t care if you’re eating from hand to mouth.
They don’t care if you’re stuck, not growing, not building anything for yourself.
To them, you’re not a person with limits.
You’re an income source.
And the sad part?
Over time, they start to expect it.
If you can’t send, they feel offended.
If you say you’re struggling, they act like you’re lying.
They make you feel guilty, anxious, scared.
Scared of losing your family.
Scared of saying no.
Scared of their disappointment.
But deep down, you know:
When their call comes and your whole body tenses, that’s not love.
That’s anxiety.
That’s pressure.
That’s a relationship that has become more about money than about you.
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So here’s the question:
Which kind of people do you have in your circle?
• Those who rarely ask, make the most of what they get, and try to stand on their own?
• Or those who live on “my family/friend is abroad,” keep coming back, and treat you like their permanent income source?
If your phone lights up and your stomach drops because you already know it’s about money again…
That’s not just stress. That’s a pattern.
You can love your family.
You can care about your friends.
But you are not obligated to be someone’s ATM.
Your money is your time, your energy, your future.
If you keep giving until you’re empty, you won’t be able to help anyone — including yourself.
Real love will understand your limits.
Real family will want you to grow, not just to send.
Take a moment and think:
Who in your circle sees you as a person?
And who sees you as a paycheck?
