03/09/2026
Relationship Dynamics
THE PERSON YOU WANT TO MARRY WILL NOT BE THE SAME AFTER MARRIAGE
My dear single, I want you to think about this for a moment.
The person you are dating today—or hoping to marry—is still becoming.
And so are you.
Marriage will introduce new responsibilities, new experiences, new pressures, new seasons and new challenges.
The man you marry may become a father.
The woman you marry may become a mother.
Your finances may change.
Your priorities may change.
Your dreams may evolve.
You may discover strengths in each other that you never knew existed. You may also discover weaknesses that were not obvious before marriage.
You are not marrying a finished product.
You are marrying someone who will continue to grow and change.
And you will too.
So the question shouldn't only be:
“Will this person change after marriage?”
They will.
The better question is:
“What kind of person are they becoming?”
Are they teachable?
Are they willing to grow?
Can they receive correction?
Can they admit when they are wrong?
Do they have values that can withstand changing seasons?
Are they becoming more responsible and mature?
But there is another question I want you to ask yourself.
And this one may be uncomfortable:
“Will my values, attitude and character make this person a better person?”
Think about it.
Will your presence encourage growth?
Will your words build them up or constantly tear them down?
Will your attitude bring peace or unnecessary conflict?
Will your character inspire them to become better, or will your relationship bring out the worst in both of you?
Because marriage is not only about what your spouse will bring into your life.
It is also about what you will bring into theirs.
You are not only choosing the person you will live with.
You are becoming the person who will influence who they become.
So while you are asking God for the right spouse, don't forget to ask yourself:
“Am I becoming the kind of spouse I am praying for?”
This is just the beginning.
Follow this series. There is so much we need to talk about before you say, “I do.”
Proverbs 27:17 — Mutual influence
“Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” — Proverbs 27:17 (KJV)
— Coach Hope
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